What do you do concerning the tab when dining out with family or friends?

Ruth n Jersey

Ruth n Jersey

Well-known Member
Location
Northern New Jersey
Some folks like to split the bill,others ask for separate checks, and others just buy the next time around. When I'm with friends I like to ask for separate checks. Not because I'm afraid theirs might be more expensive, but sometimes I'm not sure when I will be able to reciprocate. I just don't like that hanging over my head. With my kids, I like to pick up the bill. We don't see them that often so it's just something nice I like to do for them.I know they appreciate it and we usually stay with them at their home so we take them out once or twice. We are non drinkers,nothing against it, but we just don't care for it. On occasion our friends will have a drink. If splitting the bill, do you think it's fair to split the drinks as well?
 

We just kind of throw what we can into the kitty. Obviously you want to be polite and not order the most expensive things. Well unless you can throw in the cost plus maybe ten or twenty dollars over. We're lousy at math, so easier to just put down what you can afford.
 
Separate bills for me too usually. But when my well to do relatives are in town they always treat me to dinner at a nice restaurant. And I usually cook a nice one for them at home.
 
I occasionally dine out with generally the same group of friends or relatives, and we take turns paying the bill while the rest toss in for the tip. But when I invite someone to dine out with me, I consider them my guest and I cover everything.
 
speaking of which, heading out to dine with a group in a little bit before we head over to an evening of dancing, you better believe we're getting separate tabs, those lushes, kidding of course, just a fun group. LOL! I'll not be drinking alcohol with my dinner and I know they will be, so yes, separate tabs all the way.
 
We always just split the bill,whatever we have had to eat or drink.If we invite friends, then we pay for it all.An invitation is a different thing I think.
 
AprilT said:
Here's the group I was at dinner with, I'm way on the back right side, you can just see my bushy head sticking out. :) I did end up getting a drink, a blue Hawaiian, we all still got seperate tabs.

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Looks like you had a great time, April. I still like the idea of separate checks, but the poor waitress must have went nuts giving all of you individual checks.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
Looks like you had a great time, April. I still like the idea of separate checks, but the poor waitress must have went nuts giving all of you individual checks.
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You know actually this was the first time I ever saw a server have difficult time handing out the checks, it's never seemed to be a problem in the past and I've eaten out with much larger groups than what's shown in the picture. What threw me was the tip was already calculated into the bill and yet they still had a spot to add a tip for credit card purchases. I know some places do this, but I was surprised to see it on the bill at this place, I would have tipped higher if not for them doing that. I never tip below 20% unless the service is sub-par.
 
AprilT said:
You know actually this was the first time I ever saw a server have difficult time handing out the checks, it's never seemed to be a problem in the past and I've eaten out with much larger groups than what's shown in the picture. What threw me was the tip was already calculated into the bill and yet they still had a spot to add a tip for credit card purchases. I know some places do this, but I was surprised to see it on the bill at this place, I would have tipped higher if not for them doing that. I never tip below 20% unless the service is sub-par.
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Yes, April, I have seen in some places, written right on the menu, that groups will have a percentage added automatically. I also tip the 20%. These people work hard,put up with some pretty crazy customers, and I don't think they even make minimum wage. They depend on tips.
 
mitchezz said:
Many restaurants here refuse to issue separate bills while some will do it for a fee.
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These Establishments wouldn't survive in these areas, for one hardly anyone carries enough cash to pay their tabs. Most groups here is would avoid such places. The servers here.before they ever ask what you want they ask if it will be separate checks, no one bats an eye to it.
 
>>These Establishments wouldn't survive in these areas, for one hardly anyone carries enough cash to pay their tabs. >>

Ummm.....the tab can be split using separate credit cards. Some restaurants will not split more than xx # of ways during peak periods, like downtown rush hour when office workers crowd in between 11:45a and 1:30p, which is understandable.

Virtually all restaurants in Northern CA apply an automatic service charge of 18-20% for large parties. It's usually set at 8 diners but I have seen a very small restaurant make it 6 people because they only had 5 tables in the place!

For us it depends on who we're with. With my family, one of us will pick up the tab. We figure it all works out even in the end, LOL.

If we're with certain friends who we know don't have as much discretionary income as we do, we pick up the tab.

When I was younger, I was taken out to some fabulous upscale restaurants by older friends who had the kind of $$$$$ I could only dream about then. I used to stress about being able to reciprocate, and then I read this very smart article that discussed this issue.

It said, "Accept with gratitude, and say a sincere thanks. Send a card, or flowers if you want. But the best thing to do is carry the gift forward. When you're in the position someday to be generous to others, do so."

Now that we are in the position to be generous, I concur 100% with the sentiment. We have a very, very generous amount of discretionary income every month, which most people don't. We are very fortunate, and know it. When we enjoy something, it's even more fun to share it sometimes with friends. If they can't afford it and we can, then why not pay for everyone?

We can't take it with us. We remember very vividly having to budget, search for bargains, save for gifts and vacations. We suffered a bankruptcy in our mid-40's when our RE partner went under in one of our periodic RE crashes. We recovered financially after years of careful planning. It makes us happy to lift our friends' lives a little, the same way such kindness was given to us many times.
 
Lethe200 said:
>>These Establishments wouldn't survive in these areas, for one hardly anyone carries enough cash to pay their tabs. >>

Ummm.....the tab can be split using separate credit cards. Some restaurants will not split more than xx # of ways during peak periods, like downtown rush hour when office workers crowd in between 11:45a and 1:30p, which is understandable.

Virtually all restaurants in Northern CA apply an automatic service charge of 18-20% for large parties. It's usually set at 8 diners but I have seen a very small restaurant make it 6 people because they only had 5 tables in the place!

For us it depends on who we're with. With my family, one of us will pick up the tab. We figure it all works out even in the end, LOL.

If we're with certain friends who we know don't have as much discretionary income as we do, we pick up the tab.

When I was younger, I was taken out to some fabulous upscale restaurants by older friends who had the kind of $$$$$ I could only dream about then. I used to stress about being able to reciprocate, and then I read this very smart article that discussed this issue.

It said, "Accept with gratitude, and say a sincere thanks. Send a card, or flowers if you want. But the best thing to do is carry the gift forward. When you're in the position someday to be generous to others, do so."

Now that we are in the position to be generous, I concur 100% with the sentiment. We have a very, very generous amount of discretionary income every month, which most people don't. We are very fortunate, and know it. When we enjoy something, it's even more fun to share it sometimes with friends. If they can't afford it and we can, then why not pay for everyone?

We can't take it with us. We remember very vividly having to budget, search for bargains, save for gifts and vacations. We suffered a bankruptcy in our mid-40's when our RE partner went under in one of our periodic RE crashes. We recovered financially after years of careful planning. It makes us happy to lift our friends' lives a little, the same way such kindness was given to us many times.
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Believe me, these people aren't dividing up the bill based on their income status, I'm the only poor one in these groups most of them have vacation homes and are either still working in high income careers or retired quite well off. This is just the way things are done, we aren't exactly all best friends, we're just a group of people who enjoy each others company some of us have known each other for a number of years, and like each other well enough. I think people who aren't used to doing things this way, make it out to be more of an issue than it is. Like I said, no one makes a big deal over it, but, it's the way things are done here.
 
We take the kids and grandkids out for a dinner when we are up in the city....usually on a rotating basis...one or two groups at a time. I pick up the tab, and they get the tip. That works out well for everyone, as they kick in a few dollars, and it doesn't strain their budgets.
 

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