What do you Fear most?

I fear, I suppose, nursing homes. I will not allow myself to be placed in one, no matter what it takes. My daughter worked in one, and I heard plenty of stories.

My ex-husband spent nearly 3 months in a nursing home. He caught Covid at the nursing home, and when he recovered from that, he came down with sepsis. He has other health problems now that were caused by staff negligence - they either didn't notice or they didn't do anything about them, which is their job. He has been in the hospital in the ICU for about 2 weeks. He was finally able to talk to me a couple of days ago and his voice sounded strong for the first time since he broke his ankle.

He is not going back to the nursing home, period. He may go to a rehab center at another hospital once they move him from ICU and see how he's doing.
 
I fear, I suppose, nursing homes. I will not allow myself to be placed in one, no matter what it takes. My daughter worked in one, and I heard plenty of stories.

My ex-husband spent nearly 3 months in a nursing home. He caught Covid at the nursing home, and when he recovered from that, he came down with sepsis. He has other health problems now that were caused by staff negligence - they either didn't notice or they didn't do anything about them, which is their job. He has been in the hospital in the ICU for about 2 weeks. He was finally able to talk to me a couple of days ago and his voice sounded strong for the first time since he broke his ankle.

He is not going back to the nursing home, period. He may go to a rehab center at another hospital once they move him from ICU and see how he's doing.
Trouble is, though, if you don't have family who are willing and able to take care of you, the nursing home is where you're likely to end up if you live long enough. For years I've known people who swore they would never put a loved one in the nursing home but had to anyway. And my nephew and niece-in-law have both worked in nursing homes and the places are full of residents who had sworn they'd never end up there. It's sad and I don't want to go into one either but realize that it's most likely in my future.

There is sometimes a way to stay out of nursing homes for at least a little longer and that's to move into a seniors apartment type situation--doesn't have to be expensive independent living type places with cafeterias or shuttle buses either, just apartments for seniors; and if at least a few other residents are halfway friendly, they've found that the residents kind of look out for each other (like with slight memory problems, no longer being able to drive, etc.) and enable them to stay out of the nursing homes for at least a little longer. But it appears that it has to be in an apartment-type setting, i.e. sharing walls; for some reason condos that are separated or mobile home parks that each have their own space it doesn't work as well as in the apt. bldg. setting. (Maybe it feels more like dormitory setting or something.) Which is a situation I think I'd love to at least try, but my Huzz (and most men, I hear) can't even stand the thought of it; he wants a great big yard and that's final.
 
I fear, I suppose, nursing homes. I will not allow myself to be placed in one, no matter what it takes. My daughter worked in one, and I heard plenty of stories.

My ex-husband spent nearly 3 months in a nursing home. He caught Covid at the nursing home, and when he recovered from that, he came down with sepsis. He has other health problems now that were caused by staff negligence - they either didn't notice or they didn't do anything about them, which is their job. He has been in the hospital in the ICU for about 2 weeks. He was finally able to talk to me a couple of days ago and his voice sounded strong for the first time since he broke his ankle.

He is not going back to the nursing home, period. He may go to a rehab center at another hospital once they move him from ICU and see how he's doing.
I agree with you about the nursing homes. I also have heard too many horror stories. There is no reason for him to have gotten sepsis if he was in a nursing facility, which shows he wasn't being monitored.

A friend of ours had his mother in a nursing facility and he would visit her every day for years, and take her the protein drink Ensure (or something similar) and feed her with soup because she had no teeth. He was constantly keeping an eye on her. Granted, he was single and didn't have a family, so he was able to take the time and do this. She lived to be 98. He died a couple years after, in his mid-70s.

I have an uncle who lives far away and was placed in a nursing home about a year or so ago. He's in his early 80s. Found he had diabetes and now one of his feet is getting amputated. We're all aghast. I don't think nursing homes should replace families. If one has a family, the family should take the time and visit that person in the nursing home. I also don't want to go into a nursing home in the future, if I can help it!
 
Trouble is, though, if you don't have family who are willing and able to take care of you, the nursing home is where you're likely to end up if you live long enough. For years I've known people who swore they would never put a loved one in the nursing home but had to anyway. And my nephew and niece-in-law have both worked in nursing homes and the places are full of residents who had sworn they'd never end up there. It's sad and I don't want to go into one either but realize that it's most likely in my future.
I will euthanize myself if I get so sick I need to be in a nursing home. I'll be on the way out by then, anyway.

I watched my mother suffer in agony while she was hospitalized with various cancers, and taken care of by people who kept saying she could go home soon. Right after I was told she didn't qualify for hospice, the hospice people came to persuade her to go there. She died the next night.

I refuse to ever suffer like that. When I was a teenager, my mom had a book she kept on the coffee table by the Hemlock Society. I was appalled then, but no longer. I believe my mom kept herself alive and went through all the horrible stuff just so she wouldn't have to leave my sister and I alone. The last thing she said to us was to not be afraid if she died. I am pretty sure she didn't mean afraid of her dead body. I think she meant, somehow, not to be afraid because she was no longer with us. Of course, I said, "Afraid? Me? Don't worry about it, not gonna happen." At that point, I thought she was talking about her dead body. She knew me well, so maybe she thought my sister was a wimp. :)
 
I will euthanize myself if I get so sick I need to be in a nursing home. I'll be on the way out by then, anyway.

I watched my mother suffer in agony while she was hospitalized with various cancers, and taken care of by people who kept saying she could go home soon. Right after I was told she didn't qualify for hospice, the hospice people came to persuade her to go there. She died the next night.

I refuse to ever suffer like that. When I was a teenager, my mom had a book she kept on the coffee table by the Hemlock Society. I was appalled then, but no longer. I believe my mom kept herself alive and went through all the horrible stuff just so she wouldn't have to leave my sister and I alone. The last thing she said to us was to not be afraid if she died. I am pretty sure she didn't mean afraid of her dead body. I think she meant, somehow, not to be afraid because she was no longer with us. Of course, I said, "Afraid? Me? Don't worry about it, not gonna happen." At that point, I thought she was talking about her dead body. She knew me well, so maybe she thought my sister was a wimp. :)
I think maybe I would rather euthanize myself also--if I haven't gotten past the point of sound mind to make the decision due to Alzheimer's or whatever--but then I live in a right-to-die state; there are only 8 (WA, OR, CA, CO, HI, ME, VT, & NJ) here in the U.S.; doesn't look like Pennsylvania is one of them, not at this time anyway.
 
I think maybe I would rather euthanize myself also--if I haven't gotten past the point of sound mind to make the decision due to Alzheimer's or whatever--but then I live in a right-to-die state; there are only 8 (WA, OR, CA, CO, HI, ME, VT, & NJ) here in the U.S.; doesn't look like Pennsylvania is one of them, not at this time anyway.
If I had to, I'd move to ME or VT. I've got all the hospital paperwork handled, so they know I am a DNR patient. Too many stories of people being kept alive, and if the docs succeed, that person has a horrible quality of life. I think quality of life is very important.

I don't want to die now, but I am not afraid of death.
 
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These are my biggest fears.

One I’m dealing with is the possibility of losing my vision. My vision is destroyed in one eye and the other has problems.
I definitely understand. I love reading...it would be a bit difficult losing my vision. But as long as I have my hearing, I can enjoy my music.
 
For those of you who posted horror stories about nursing homes, they're not all bad. My wife is in a nursing home and she's getting extremely good care including good meals. I've been going there twice a week to have dinner with her and sometimes to watch a movie together. Registered nurses care for her. But she might have gotten lucky. The facility where she's staying is one of the highest rated in Colorado. People who don't have insurance no doubt aren't as well taken care of. It's all about the money, like everything in America.
 
@Irwin, that‘s good to hear that she has great care. When do you think she’ll be coming home?
 


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