What have you finally made peace with in your life....?

Ruthanne said:
I thought I had made peace with some things but then found them troubling me again...and on it goes with some things I guess. I'm at a point where I wonder if there is truly any real peace made with things.
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Same here. I never forgave my mother for some things she did during her lifetime, and I can't shake off the feeling of betrayal that I felt.
 
Capt Lightning said:
Same here. I never forgave my mother for some things she did during her lifetime, and I can't shake off the feeling of betrayal that I felt.
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I have had to make peace with the things my parents , particularly my father did to me....because I have no choice. I haven't fogriven..never will and I will never forget but I have had to make peace with it, because they're both gone, and there can never been any mending of those bridges, so not making peace with it affects only me..so I'm continuing to allow them to hurt me.. If you see what I'm trying to say
 
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hollydolly said:
I have had to make peace with the things my parents , particularly my father did to me....because I have no choice. I haven't fogriven..never will and I will never forget but I have had to make peace with it, because they're both gone, and there can never been any mending of those bridges, so not making eace with it affects ony me..so I'm continuing to allow them to hurt me.. If you see what I'm trying to say
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I do see, and had I known I wouldn't be so flippant as to using piece rather than peace. My apologies to you Holly, I sincerely wish that you find peace in your heart and are able to love and trust others, despite your parents. May peace and happiness always be with you.
 
hollydolly said:
What about you , what have you made peace about..?
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I could give a long list but at the top of it would have to be making peace with my first wife. Hate to admit it, but the ill behavior was on my part, not hers. I was young and stupid and did not treat her well. No physical abuse or anything like that, but it was me who caused our divorce.

Guilt over it troubled me for a long time, and I often thought I should contact her and apologize. Did not do it in part because I was not sure she would want to hear from me again. To my surprise she contacted me and we started exchanging messages. That was about 25 to 30 years after divorcing. One of the first things I did was to apologize, she just laughed and said something to the effect that life is too short to hold grudges or worry about such things. Now we are friends, and friends with each other's families, a good thing.

So was it me who made the peace or her? I know it has lifted a weight off of my conscience. Have to give her most of the credit for this one...
 
officerripley said:
I'm still trying to make peace with the fact that I'm not a likable, "people person" and never will be. (Latest research says it can be learned but must be learned before the age of 8.)
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i find you likeable. Not even sure what being a 'people person' means. i know i don't have and strong need to be around or be liked by large numbers of people, yet i'm capable of being civil, kind and compassionate to most i cross paths with.

First decide if you really want to become a people person. As for learning anything---don't listen to those who say things MUST be learned by a certain age. While there are optimum times for learning some things. Neuroplasticity research makes clear that most anything particular in realm of behaviors but even some physical skills/habits can be either learned or unlearned at any age given motivation and well thought out plan for rewiring the brain.
 
i had to give this some thought too. The word 'finally' being a sticking point because it implies having struggled with it for years, maybe decades even and by my late 20's i'd come to terms with most problematic people and things in my life. With myself being perhaps the most problematic.

i can't find it now but i could have sworn that yesterday i saw a comment that said the person had accepted themselves, who they are. i'd wanted to say that's a big one for many people, i can relate. But figured i wait till i came in to comment myself and now i cannot locate. Whomever did--thanks for saying it first. Things i didn't care for about myself--i found ways to change. i'm who i aimed at being when young. i have 'made peace with' or accepted the fact that who i am is unpalatable to many people and that's fine. i don't need/want approval from anyone but a small select group of people, most importantly my children.

Most of my adult a life i've been able to let things/people be what/who they are, even if that is something i'm unhappy with---because my happiness and contentment in life is my responsibility. How much interaction i will agree to have with someone who has been extremely unpleasant or in case of my 3rd ex, threatening, is my choice but thinking about it, he's the only person i've ever cut off entirely.
 
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I have come to peace with the realization that during our lives we're not always been presented with good choices. Sometimes we must choose what we believe to be the less terrible, less toxic pathway, which often means letting go of some people - even close relatives.

I learned to stop wishing harm to those who deeply hurt or betrayed me. I hope they find their peace, but will need to do so in other places and with other people, just as I did.
 
WheatenLover said:
I have two sons like that. One accuses me of giving my sons fetal alcohol syndrome, among other crazy things that never happened. One accuses me of being an opioid addict and of catching me stealing his lithium because I thought it was an opioid. None of this ever happened.

These sons are very much mentally ill (diagnosed for years by professionals). I don't get mad or particularly sad ... I just feel frustrated.
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Judging by the dialogue here many of our children appear to have the same reaction to their parents, where did we go wrong?
 
My son and daughter are not close. Most likely my fault. I loved them both equally but the squeaky wheel got the grease because I didn't have the patience to deal with the situation.
My daughter is a very strong willed person and my son is very laid back.
She learned how to push my buttons at a very young age and it worked. My son began to resent this and rightly so. Whatever she was suppose to do he ended up doing it.
I have a very loving relationship with both of them.
My daughter is a wonderful Mother, much better than I ever was. I actually admire her strength.
I am in awe of my son who is a responsible, hardworking, wonderful person.
We manage to have holidays here but it is uncomfortable because they don't communicate at all. The grandkids and other guests keep the conversation flowing and make for a nice gathering.
I am trying to make peace with the fact that I can't make them love each other and I can't undo any damage I might have done when they were young.
 
Sunny said:
Bill Maher had a brilliant editorial on his show last night. He said he was talking to a cab driver originally from Bosnia, and he said the condition this country is in, and the level of hatred between people based on political beliefs, is exactly what he saw in Bosnia in the early 1990's, before that country became a hellish wasteland. Recent surveys have shown that the majority of Americans, on both sides of the political aisle, would be in favor of having half the country secede.

Maher said he gave the matter some thought and realized the guy was right. We've got to stop hating the "other side," especially over trivial differences of opinion. If America is to survive, we have to remember that there will always be differences of opinion, but we are all basically on the same side. There has to be less hatred and contempt for people we just disagree with. I have made peace with that idea.
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I quit HBO and miss Bill Maher. One reason it is so difficult to get along with people of different opinions is that there are many who profit from, and promote, division. It is no accident that there are so many conspiracy theories on facebook. Chaos is essential for those who wish to undermine democracy.
 
Alizerine said:
I quit HBO and miss Bill Maher. One reason it is so difficult to get along with people of different opinions is that there are many who profit from, and promote, division. It is no accident that there are so many conspiracy theories on facebook. Chaos is essential for those who wish to undermine democracy.
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True; like the old saying: "Divide and conquer."
 

What have you finally made peace with in your life....?​


I have held the can at all angles, held my breathe, the way that you do :) , even prayed a bit, but my electric can opener definitely had it's own ideas of what to do.
Instead of tossing it in the bin, I decided to take a very close look at how the contraption works, and, after replacing some washers with slightly thicker ones, lo and behold, the little devil now works perfectly.
Then into the shed I went to retreave two other (fairly new) electric can openers, and guess what, yeh, you've got it, I've now got 3 working machines. I think I'll open a tin of peaches for din dins. ☺️
 
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I've accepted that I'll never be a "Monro bagger". For those not in the mountain walking / climbing brigade, a Monro is a Scottish mountain over 3000 feet high. (between 2000 and 3000 feet, it's a "Corbett"). A Monro 'bagger' is someone who sets out to climb as many of the 282 Monros as possible. The highest is Ben Nevis and the lowest is Beinn Teallach at only 3002 feet. Unfortunately, my knees are creaking a bit too much.
 


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