What is the funniest moment in your life.

[Uncontrolable]

OK I have more than one. I will relate two: Don't be afraid to tell on yourself.

When I was 7y/o my parents took us to the zoo. We went to the primate cages. The largest cage was the chimpanzee cage. Looked to me like it was 100 feet in the air. The chimps were jumping and screaming, flying through the air. The cages were open air.

One of the chimps went straight to the top of the cage. It stopped high up, but right in front of me. I looked up and it spit a big gob which hit me right between my eyes. Everyone else laughed their asses off, including the chimp.

Forgot, I said two: My brother and I were playing basketball one day at the local school yard when both of us decided we had to go to the rest room. He was 12, I was 13. We jumped the school fence next to a gas station with a bathroom. We both ran in having to go #2. It was a one holler and I grabbed it first. My brother was standing out side yelling for me to hurry up. I kept saying I was going as fast as I could.

After a little longer I could not hear my brother dancing around, or asking me to hurry. I said, "John, are you there?". Nothing, no sound. I thought he ran out side. When I finally finished, I flushed the toilet and opened the door, There was my brother. He was standing in front of the door with a big grin on his face holding a paper towel full of poop. We both laughed our butts off.

These do not all have to be bathroom stories. Any funniest moment in your life.

 

[treeguy64]

This actual event cracked my Dad up, when I told him about it. There were tears in his eyes, he was laughing so hard. He almost fell down. Here we go: This amorous young lady and I were having fun in the dark. She fell asleep, afterwards, with a portion of my anatomy in her mouth. I fell asleep, as well. In a moment of absolute horror, I woke up clawing at the air and screaming, as my anatomy was being gnawed on, with gusto. In the few seconds it took to switch on the light, I tried to imagine life without that part of my anatomy. I succeeded in putting on the light. The young lady was crying hysterically because of my screams. My anatomy was still attached. She told me she had dreamed she was eating a hot dog, and things just went the way they did! This is an absolutely true story. I think my Dad is reading it, in the great beyond, and cracking up, again!!

 

[Trade]

The funniest looking back on it wasn't all that funny at the time. It was in Air Force Medic training at Shepard AFB. We had a break and I went to the restroom to take a dump. So while I was sitting there in the stall some chicks from my class came in. The Medic course was co-ed. That's when I realized that I had gone into the wrong restroom. So I'm thinking maybe I can just wait them out and they won't notice and I can sneak out after they left. But then one of them noticed my shoes under the door. And they started talking between themselves about how there was a guy in the rest room and one of them says "I'll go get the instructor." So I'm sitting there frozen on the commode wondering how the Hell am I going to talk myself out of this one? After a few minutes the one chick comes back with the instructor and he says "OK Guy, come out of there." I think my face was probably red as a beet, but he bought my story about how I had gone in there by mistake. Still it was pretty embarrassing to go back into class.

 

[Uncontrolable]

This actual event cracked my Dad up, when I told him about it. There were tears in his eyes, he was laughing so hard. He almost fell down. Here we go: This amorous young lady and I were having fun in the dark. She fell asleep, afterwards, with a portion of my anatomy in her mouth. I fell asleep, as well. In a moment of absolute horror, I woke up clawing at the air and screaming, as my anatomy was being gnawed on, with gusto. In the few seconds it took to switch on the light, I tried to imagine life without that part of my anatomy. I succeeded in putting on the light. The young lady was crying hysterically because of my screams. My anatomy was still attached. She told me she had dreamed she was eating a hot dog, and things just went the way they did! This is an absolutely true story. I think my Dad is reading it, in the great beyond, and cracking up, again!!

You are lucky no one else ran into the room at the wrong moment. Good story.

 

[Ruth n Jersey]

A few years back my cousin got a metal detector. It wasn't long before I bought one for myself. We went to Atlantic City to explore the beaches. I had read that there could be a lot of good stuff under the Board walk. There was an area where I was able to crawl under with my detector. As I was crawling out on my knees a drunk who could hardly stand up was standing on top of the board walk at the edge and relieved himself right on my head. Luckily it was summer and I headed for the water where I stayed for quite awhile mostly under water for as long as I could hold my breath. I don't know how many times my cousin told the story and each time we have a good laugh.

 

[Uncontrolable]

The funniest looking back on it wasn't all that funny at the time. It was in Air Force Medic training at Shepard AFB. We had a break and I went to the restroom to take a dump. So while I was sitting there in the stall some chicks from my class came in. The Medic course was co-ed. That's when I realized that I had gone into the wrong restroom. So I'm thinking maybe I can just wait them out and they won't notice and I can sneak out after they left. But then one of them noticed my shoes under the door. And they started talking between themselves about how there was a guy in the rest room and one of them says "I'll go get the instructor." So I'm sitting there frozen on the commode wondering how the Hell am I going to talk myself out of this one? After a few minutes the one chick comes back with the instructor and he says "OK Guy, come out of there." I think my face was probably red as a beet, but he bought my story about how I had gone in there by mistake. Still it was pretty embarrassing to go back into class.

We give that one half a point because someone was embarrassed, but no one laughed. Thanks for the story.

 

[Uncontrolable]

A few years back my cousin got a metal detector. It wasn't long before I bought one for myself. We went to Atlantic City to explore the beaches. I had read that there could be a lot of good stuff under the Board walk. There was an area where I was able to crawl under with my detector. As I was crawling out on my knees a drunk who could hardly stand up was standing on top of the board walk at the edge and relieved himself right on my head. Luckily it was summer and I headed for the water where I stayed for quite awhile mostly under water for as long as I could hold my breath. I don't know how many times my cousin told the story and each time we have a good laugh.

OK, good enough.

 

[jujube]

Five years ago we were in a RV park outside Boston. I went up to the bathhouse to take a shower. I was in the stall doing my thing when someone walked into the stall beside me. The stall walls were open about 2' at the bottoms and I looked over and saw the hairiest feet I've ever seen on a woman. I really felt sorry for her until "she" started singing. I'm about to yell at this guy who's wandered into the women's bathhouse when two more guys walk in talking. Oops, I've gone into the MEN'S bathhouse by mistake. I peek through a tiny crack in the door and there are naked men in there, drying off. I ended up having to wait with the shower going for about a half hour until the "rush (s)hour" was over and I could break for the door. Darn good thing I have big feet and didn't have my toenails painted hot pink at the time.

 

[Uncontrolable]

Five years ago we were in a RV park outside Boston. I went up to the bathhouse to take a shower. I was in the stall doing my thing when someone walked into the stall beside me. The stall walls were open about 2' at the bottoms and I looked over and saw the hairiest feet I've ever seen on a woman. I really felt sorry for her until "she" started singing. I'm about to yell at this guy who's wandered into the women's bathhouse when two more guys walk in talking. Oops, I've gone into the MEN'S bathhouse by mistake. I peek through a tiny crack in the door and there are naked men in there, drying off. I ended up having to wait with the shower going for about a half hour until the "rush (s)hour" was over and I could break for the door. Darn good thing I have big feet and didn't have my toenails painted hot pink at the time.

Your are lucky they did not tell you to hurry up.

 

[Mrs. Robinson]

Has to be the day I took a new friend to the llama ranch. We had a business friend whose daughter moved up to where we live. Her husband was a firefighter in San Francisco-3 hours away-so she was alone a lot. I called her one day and asked if she`d like to go look at llama`s with me-one of mine had just passed away and I needed to get the other a companion. She jumped at the chance as she`s crazy about animals. So we go to the ranch,and the lady takes us out into a paddock full of llamas. She has a bucket of grain in her hand-llamas favorite snack. I guess I should start by explaining that llamas have three kinds of "spit" that they do. It is not usually aimed at humans-it is usually aimed at other llamas. The first "spit" is just air-just a warning. The second "spit is actually the same thing,but if they have food in their mouths,food flies out. But when they mean business,they bring up their stomach contents-and let me tell you,it is nasty stuff. Sooo,we are walking through these lamas,and they are crowding us because they wanted grain. All of a sudden,one spit. Right in my face. The #3 spit. I just stood there,with spit all over my glasses and pouring down my face. The llama ranch lady was horrified. My new,young friend was speechless. Then I just broke out laughing-and the others did as well. We laughed so long and so hard. We still laugh about it ten years later.

 

[Uncontrolable]

Has to be the day I took a new friend to the llama ranch. We had a business friend whose daughter moved up to where we live. Her husband was a firefighter in San Francisco-3 hours away-so she was alone a lot. I called her one day and asked if she`d like to go look at llama`s with me-one of mine had just passed away and I needed to get the other a companion. She jumped at the chance as she`s crazy about animals. So we go to the ranch,and the lady takes us out into a paddock full of llamas. She has a bucket of grain in her hand-llamas favorite snack. I guess I should start by explaining that llamas have three kinds of "spit" that they do. It is not usually aimed at humans-it is usually aimed at other llamas. The first "spit" is just air-just a warning. The second "spit is actually the same thing,but if they have food in their mouths,food flies out. But when they mean business,they bring up their stomach contents-and let me tell you,it is nasty stuff. Sooo,we are walking through these lamas,and they are crowding us because they wanted grain. All of a sudden,one spit. Right in my face. The #3 spit. I just stood there,with spit all over my glasses and pouring down my face. The llama ranch lady was horrified. My new,young friend was speechless. Then I just broke out laughing-and the others did as well. We laughed so long and so hard. We still laugh about it ten years later.

That is a wonderful story. I laughed as well. I think I will be smiling all day with this one. I wish you to be: Happy Joyous and Free.

 

[Toomuchstuff]

I enjoyed your stories ! I can't think of any one event in my life that really funny - there's too many to pick from. Now a days , there are so many people that just can't laugh at themselves. People can just be too serious . It's so refreshing to read humorous stories from "the victims" themselves ! (((( Hugs to everyone ))) !

 

[Uncontrolable]

I enjoyed your stories ! I can't think of any one event in my life that really funny - there's too many to pick from. Now a days , there are so many people that just can't laugh at themselves. People can just be too serious . It's so refreshing to read humorous stories from "the victims" themselves ! (((( Hugs to everyone ))) !

So just pick one you think we might like. What is the worst we could say about it?

 

[Toomuchstuff]

Well, Uncontrolable ..... You made me think & I thought of one that I still cringe at ! Here's the story .

I met a group of gals online that did stained glass . We all chatted for months. They suddenly came up with the idea that they wanted us all to meet in a lady's house in Michigan.I thought this was soooo cool ! I'm in Wisconsin and didn't want to drive , so I took a plane. Three of them (who I've never seen before ) were supposed to meet me at the airport.
The plane landed & I thought I'd make the grand entrance off the plane to people I've never seen before. I put on one of those Groucho glasses with the mustache & eyebrows ..... and I walked off that ramp from the plane dancing and waving my hands and just acting silly. I wanted to make a grand entrance!

NO ONE WAS THERE TO GREET ME. Nobody.

Everyone was watching me waiting for some big reunion.I stood there alone ! My heart dropped - I didn't know what the people who were supposed to pick me up looked like. I found the nearest corner and just huddled in it - I was so embarrassed. About 10 minutes later .... 3 ladies walked up to the ramp with a poster size picture of me with the phrase "Have you seen this lady ?" .... We finally met !

OMG .........I was so embarrassed ! They're still my online friends 15 years later !

 

[Uncontrolable]

Well, Uncontrolable ..... You made me think & I thought of one that I still cringe at ! Here's the story .

I met a group of gals online that did stained glass . We all chatted for months. They suddenly came up with the idea that they wanted us all to meet in a lady's house in Michigan.I thought this was soooo cool ! I'm in Wisconsin and didn't want to drive , so I took a plane. Three of them (who I've never seen before ) were supposed to meet me at the airport.
The plane landed & I thought I'd make the grand entrance off the plane to people I've never seen before. I put on one of those Groucho glasses with the mustache & eyebrows ..... and I walked off that ramp from the plane dancing and waving my hands and just acting silly. I wanted to make a grand entrance!

NO ONE WAS THERE TO GREET ME. Nobody.

Everyone was watching me waiting for some big reunion.I stood there alone ! My heart dropped - I didn't know what the people who were supposed to pick me up looked like. I found the nearest corner and just huddled in it - I was so embarrassed. About 10 minutes later .... 3 ladies walked up to the ramp with a poster size picture of me with the phrase "Have you seen this lady ?" .... We finally met !

OMG .........I was so embarrassed ! They're still my online friends 15 years later !

I think that is the best story I have heard yet. It was marvelous. The only thing that could have made it better is if the 3 ladies were carrying a poster of you with a Groucho nose on it. Great story. If you look back at these stories, they could have all been scenes in a sit com.

 

[Sassycakes]

I didn't consider it funny at the time but now I laugh when I think about it. Years ago my husband got metal in his eye. We went to the Eye Hospital near us and they had to drill the rust rings out of his eye. I sat behind him while the Doctor did the procedure. All I heard was the sound of a drill and the Doctor putting it in my husbands eye. When he was done he put a bandage over my husbands eye and said to leave it on until the next afternoon and then put drops in his eye and change the bandage. The next day I was a nervous wreck when I had to put the drops in his eye. As I took off the bandage a blue thing feel out,and my husband has blue eyes. I thought it was his eye and I ran around the room screaming. Of course my husband was laughing because he had stuck a blue marble under the Bandage. I swear I would have run through the wall because I was in a state of panic. It took me a while to forgive him. He thought it was really funny and I told him he was lucky I hadn't killed him. He still laughs at me and how I looked when that happened.

 

[Uncontrolable]

I didn't consider it funny at the time but now I laugh when I think about it. Years ago my husband got metal in his eye. We went to the Eye Hospital near us and they had to drill the rust rings out of his eye. I sat behind him while the Doctor did the procedure. All I heard was the sound of a drill and the Doctor putting it in my husbands eye. When he was done he put a bandage over my husbands eye and said to leave it on until the next afternoon and then put drops in his eye and change the bandage. The next day I was a nervous wreck when I had to put the drops in his eye. As I took off the bandage a blue thing feel out,and my husband has blue eyes. I thought it was his eye and I ran around the room screaming. Of course my husband was laughing because he had stuck a blue marble under the Bandage. I swear I would have run through the wall because I was in a state of panic. It took me a while to forgive him. He thought it was really funny and I told him he was lucky I hadn't killed him. He still laughs at me and how I looked when that happened.

Yet, aren't those the good ones.

My brother and I were skipping school one day with our friends, freshman year of high school. We decided to go to their house and goof off. We had climbed in the rear window of the house, their bedroom. We had just started to settle in. These guy's mother was a very nervous type. We heard her come in the front door, returning from the store. Then she was walking around and she was coming toward the bed room. One brother signaled for us all to get in the shower. This was a tiny square of a shower. He pulled a plastic screen over the front. We barely fit. One brother whispered, "She won't open the shower."

At that moment she walked into the bedroom, went right for us and pulled back the curtain. First, she screamed like "The Bates Motel". Then she started screaming at all of us. Of course we began laughing which made her scream louder. For a second I thought she was going for a knife. We were all laughing so hard we could barely exit the bedroom window while she still yelled at us.

 

[Lara]

When my 4 children were ages 8, 10, 12, and 14, we were playfully running single file down the beach in Panama City Florida (vacation). They were all ahead of me while I tried to keep up. There was a deep storm-runoff ditch ahead. The kids didn't miss a beat and over they jump...all perfect.

They made it look so easy so, I don't skip a beat either but...Epic FAIL. I'm hanging onto the edge, a bit in pain, and look up for sympathy but, no, the kids are all bent over in Epic Laughter! Watching them all laughing so hard together in harmony made me laugh and forget my pain.

Like this but the ditch was deeper...and less water (thankfully just got my feet wet)

 

[Uncontrolable]

When my 4 children were ages 8, 10, 12, and 14, we were playfully running single file down the beach in Panama City Florida (vacation). They were all ahead of me while I tried to keep up. There was a deep storm-runoff ditch ahead. The kids didn't miss a beat and over they jump...all perfect.

They made it look so easy so, I don't skip a beat either but...Epic FAIL. I'm hanging onto the edge, a bit in pain, and look up for sympathy but, no, the kids are all bent over in Epic Laughter! Watching them all laughing so hard together in harmony made me laugh and forget my pain.

Like this but the ditch was deeper...and less water (thankfully just got my feet wet)

My ex wife was like that. She would often laugh at my pain. And it wasn't just little things. The worse it was, the harder she would laugh. I actually think my ex would have laughed if I had gotten killed. She would have had a nice chuckle about it and then would have asked if I was alright. Never mind. I am reliving my divorce.

 

[fuzzybuddy]

I remember this day. Reagan had stirred up resentment with unions. A bunch of union people went to DC in a bus, with 100s of other union busloads. We had our picture taken on the Senate steps and went inside to a huge room. Sen, Specter (R) of PA (my Senator) was going to talk to us. He came in and started. His first line was that unions were leeches sucking on the blood of the US. Then he really trashed unions. We looked at each other-didn't he know who we were? An aide came running down, and whispered something in his ear. Specter looked at us right in the eye and said, "Unions are the backbone of America". It was so funny, I actually fell on the floor.. Ya gotta love politicians.

 

[Uncontrolable]

I remember this day. Reagan had stirred up resentment with unions. A bunch of union people went to DC in a bus, with 100s of other union busloads. We had our picture taken on the Senate steps and went inside to a huge room. Sen, Specter (R) of PA (my Senator) was going to talk to us. He came in and started. His first line was that unions were leeches sucking on the blood of the US. Then he really trashed unions. We looked at each other-didn't he know who we were? An aide came running down, and whispered something in his ear. Specter looked at us right in the eye and said, "Unions are the backbone of America". It was so funny, I actually fell on the floor.. Ya gotta love politicians.

Yes, you have one there. Politicians however have stopped amazing me. They used to be able to get away with making a comment in one part of the country and saying the opposite somewhere else. There are just too many cameras and FAQ checkers now. I just wish that when they are busted they would admit it. They need to say what they believe and stick to it. If they change their mind along the way that is OK too. Is that too much to ask? Sorry, I am ranting about politics and you are just trying to tell a story.

I do not know why, but your story reminded me of one of mine. This story is relevant to any teenage boy. I was waking down the sidewalk one day. I saw this girl walking toward me on the other side of the street. Of course I could not take my eyes off her. I am sure she was just trying to ignore me. Suddenly, BAM! I walked right into a telephone poll. It jarred the living waste material out of me. I bet the girl ran to her friends and they probably laughed their butts off. I did that twice. You would think I would have learned from the first one.

By the way. I figured out why your story reminded me of this one. It was like Specter hit a telephone poll.