What is your opinion on this

Sassycakes

Sassycakes

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Location
Pennsylvania
My nephew who is only 53yrs old is on Hospice care at home. They don't think he has much longer to live. His sister ,my niece ,just called me and said she wants to make a recording of him telling his daughter on her wedding, how much she means to him and another recording of all the family telling a happy memory of him for his daughter to keep. She mentioned a few other things like that,but I am too upset to think about it. What is your opinion of doing something like that. His daughter is 21 yrs old now and I know she knows how much he loves her. My mind is so confused and upset about my nephew being so ill that I don't know what to say. What is your opinion on doing this.
 

Just as with keeping ashes of a pet or a loved one, some will find it upsetting & some may find comfort in it. Hard to predict.
 

AZ Jim said:
On her wedding? No! Her happy day should not be marred by such a sad event.
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That's what I was thinking Jim. I would do anything to hear my Dad's voice again but I have video's with him talking in them and they make me cry even though they are pleasant videos. I can only imagine his daughter hearing his voice on a day that should be very happy for her.
 
I agree with all of the above.

Make the video/recording, but keep it for a while till
things calm down after he leaves, maybe six months
or a year even, then give it to her.

Mike.
 
I think we all (so far) agree: the idea is fine, as long as he and at least some of the family participants agree with it. But at the wedding? Good heavens, no!
 
I'm with the majority here. A recording is a great idea, but not for her wedding.

She'll be sorely missing his presence as it is. There are ways of reaching out to honor her dad that day, I don't think it helps anyone to have him reach back from the grave.
 
I lost my nephew he was just 30 so I know how heart breaking it is ...
but to be honest here I dont think that should be given to her on the day
it will bring her down hearing it ' given a recording in another meaning
another time like after the honeymoon would be ok I would think ,
hard to say when we dont know her personally ' recordings of one passed
can bring heart ache …………!
 
I agree with her not having to listen to it at her wedding. He could do a recording telling her how much he loves her,but not for anyone else to hear and never during her wedding. He also wants to tell the rest of the family how he feels about them. I know I could never listen to it without being heartbroken. He has showed his love for all of us already.
 
If it is HIS wish to make a recording for her, it should be handled privately. I wonder why do this for an adult child? If she was young, and would not remember him, I guess I could understand.

As for cremated remains, I have my husband's right now, but only because I have not gotten out to where I plan to scatter them. Though I did put some in the cement foundation of my new deck, but only because he wanted it so much, I wanted him to be a part of it.
 
Linda said:
I agree with the majority here. It shouldn't be played at her wedding. And if she already knows he loves her, why make the recording at all. Its best not to try and control things from the grave.
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I agree with you. He has been a remarkable father to her and she knows it. I don't think he needs to tell her after he is gone.
 

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