What to do, what to do, what to do...

hauntedtexan

hauntedtexan

Member
Location
Central TX
After a stint in the NAVY, I loved being the companies favorite problem solver, relocating anywhere I was needed, or wanted, to go, a physical maneuverability crisis stopped me cold. No kids, just a couple step-adults who call when they are in a financial crisis, no matter how often I change my number. Wife, love of my life, who remarried me after 28 years, passed away from cancer in 2009, I moved to a strange town to care for my elderly mom and she passed away. Now, stuck in a fully funded, small payment, VA loan, 3 bedroom house, in a city with absolutely no personality or social structure other than the super Walmart, I struggle with re-entering the dating pool and do not look forward to wading through the slime to find the clear waters. BUT, it may be better than the walls I feel trapped in due to my disability(s). Was not designed to be a solo act in this life, what to do, what to do, what to do...........
 

Some suggestions .... most communities have a Senior Citizen Center. Start there. Sign up for short sighteseeing bus trips through a travel agency. Is there a community college nearby. Many offer short courses ... cooking, photography, flower arranging, etc. Volunteer at a local hospital or public library. Is there a chapter of Parents Without Partners in town?
 
It may not be feasible for you, but an independent or assisted-living facility might be the answer. It's usually 80% women, 20% men so right there you have the advantage. Lots of activities to pick and choose from; you can be as social or unsocial as you please. There are usually different meal plans to choose from.....lunch and dinner, dinner only, no meals, etc. Dinner is a very social event in those places.

Don't look at these as nursing homes.....the right ones are for very active seniors who just need a little help here and there. Some have apartments, some have villas. There often are casino trips, fall color tours, restaurant tours.

We had to drag my uncle into one, (figuratively) kicking and screaming and then it turned out that we had to drag him out, kicking and screaming, whenever someone wanted him to come visit. He hated to leave; he was always afraid he was going to miss something. He had girlfriends galore, male buddies with whom to watch sports on the big-screen TV, people to play cards with, political discussion groups, table bowling, shuffleboard. There was a "kegger" every Friday night with beer, wine and snacks. There was a tea dance once a month where everyone dressed up and danced.

You might want to look into this option.
 

Thanks for the suggestions! Physical restrictions will heavily restrict many of them, but some may work.... Maybe I can set up home health care and hit on the nurses,,,,lol
 
hauntedtexan said:
.... Maybe I can set up home health care and hit on the nurses,,,,lol
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Just take out a local ad, French maid wanted, live in....with benefits. :hair: Seriously though, I feel for ya. It seems like the best thing would to get out of that big house, downsize and from the sounds of it, move to a more active town. But I realize that's a big goal to easily achieve.

Do you get out at all and do anything outdoors or socially, how restricted are you, completely housebound? I know it would be so much better for your well being to get around more people and have less to take care of in your own home. Sorry, no easy answers, but I'm thinking of you and hope you can make some changes for the better, you're a good guy and deserve it. :love_heart:
 
hauntedtexan said:
After a stint in the NAVY, I loved being the companies favorite problem solver, relocating anywhere I was needed, or wanted, to go, a physical maneuverability crisis stopped me cold. No kids, just a couple step-adults who call when they are in a financial crisis, no matter how often I change my number. Wife, love of my life, who remarried me after 28 years, passed away from cancer in 2009, I moved to a strange town to care for my elderly mom and she passed away. Now, stuck in a fully funded, small payment, VA loan, 3 bedroom house, in a city with absolutely no personality or social structure other than the super Walmart, I struggle with re-entering the dating pool and do not look forward to wading through the slime to find the clear waters. BUT, it may be better than the walls I feel trapped in due to my disability(s). Was not designed to be a solo act in this life, what to do, what to do, what to do...........
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My youngest son went through a series of relationships that all ended badly, some worse than others. But now he seems to have met his soul mate on Match.com. I've got to say of all the girls he's been with, I like this one the best by a long shot. In fact I'm more concerned about her than him. They've been together three years and have been married for 8 months now. So far so good, only time will tell. So you might want to give the internet a shot. If I were single that's what I would do. It certainly opens you up to a larger field of possibilities.
 
You need to get out .... circulate among your peers unless, of course, you're looking for a 30 yr. old. Older, available, DECENT men are in very short supply, Trust me, I know of what I speak. And you need to do it locally, person-to-person. The Internet is a dangerous place to go looking for companionship. There are lots of nice, older widows who would love to enjoy the companionship of a nice, single, older male. You need to find out where they hang out in your area. Good luck.

But if you go the Internet route ..... do be careful. There are a lot of sharks in those waters.
 
hauntedtexan said:
After a stint in the NAVY, I loved being the companies favorite problem solver, relocating anywhere I was needed, or wanted, to go, a physical maneuverability crisis stopped me cold. No kids, just a couple step-adults who call when they are in a financial crisis, no matter how often I change my number. Wife, love of my life, who remarried me after 28 years, passed away from cancer in 2009, I moved to a strange town to care for my elderly mom and she passed away. Now, stuck in a fully funded, small payment, VA loan, 3 bedroom house, in a city with absolutely no personality or social structure other than the super Walmart, I struggle with re-entering the dating pool and do not look forward to wading through the slime to find the clear waters. BUT, it may be better than the walls I feel trapped in due to my disability(s). Was not designed to be a solo act in this life, what to do, what to do, what to do...........
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.....get a dog.
 
Decent older men are in short supply and you can have your pick of women. I am trying to get the courage to get out myself. I don't want to do the internet deal so I really don't know where to start either. I have a disability also and in my mine I think men would think less of me. Our library here offers movies for adults on Fridays and day trips to different places monthly. I am thinking I might start there as I see a lot of older men there when I am there checking out movies or printing when my printer is on the blink. You might check the events calendar at your library.
 
Why not start eating out alone, and maybe you will meet someone. There is a thread on the subject. I agree that it should be in person, and not online. Start locally and trust your instincts. Good luck.
 
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