What to give people that help you

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
I always feel awkward as to what to offer people that help me. Money seems kinda crass and they probably wouldn't accept it anyway. I recently gave someone a "sunshine" basket with assorted snacks in it and she gave most back to me saying she didn't like some things and couldn't have others.

Also, how much? With gas so high priced right now, I wouldn't doubt one person spent close to $100 just in gas and 15 hours of time helping me. I've offered to take people out to eat at the restaurant of their choice and they say, "Yeah, we'll have to do that....sometime."
 

debodun said:
I always feel awkward as to what to offer people that help me. Money seems kinda crass and they probably wouldn't accept it anyway. I recently gave someone a "sunshine" basket with assorted snacks in it and she gave most back to me saying she didn't like some things and couldn't have others.

Also, how much? With gas so high priced right now, I wouldn't doubt one person spent close to $100 just in gas and 15 hours of time helping me. I've offered to take people out to eat at the restaurant of their choice and they say, "Yeah, we'll have to do that....sometime."
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a Gift card...flowers... ? A book token ?

How rude of that person who gave half your stuff back.. OMG.. people never cease to amaze me..
 
Write an appreciation note.
The art of writing can go a long way, an appreciation note has the ability to show someone that you took some of your valuable time to say how much you appreciate what they did for you, simply say, “I appreciate that you took the time to xxx xxx xxx this morning."
 

debodun said:
I always feel awkward as to what to offer people that help me. Money seems kinda crass and they probably wouldn't accept it anyway. I recently gave someone a "sunshine" basket with assorted snacks in it and she gave most back to me saying she didn't like some things and couldn't have others.
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For money gifts I think Walmart gift cards are the best. Before I retired my employer would reward us with 'points' when coworkers wrote us up for good work, and almost invariably we always redeemed our points for Walmart or Amazon gift cards (not actual cards, email with a code number to redeem on the store website). My lead at work would send me gifts like Starbuck gift card, AMC movie gift cards, and a Costco gift card. It has been years and I still have not used the Starbucks or AMC gift cards, and I accidentally threw away the Costco gift card (snail mail letter/code). I feel really bad that I'm wasting her money, but I just don't go to those places.

I would think a little houseplant might be a nice gift. I'd probably whine silently that it would be another chore to take care of it, but at some times in my life it would have been appreciated. Would help if you knew what type of plants they already had though.

If you know their email address you could donate to a charity in their name, and if it doesn't tell them how much you donated that would be less pressure to overspend.
 
Maybe a gas card. Or a Visa Gift Card, if it‘s the type where there’s no fee for using it.

If you do a gift card, do several of them. Maybe $25 each so they can regift if they want to.

For the lady who spent 15 hours and $100 in gas and maybe also parking fees, I’d do something that adds up to around $250 at least. Make it a variety of things. Cards, a donation in her name so she gets a tax receipt, etc.
 
debodun said:

What to give people that help you?​

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All depends on the situation.

At a minimum I give a well meant thanks, and try to return the favor when I can.

Sometimes I do give money. I have a friend who's a plumber and handyman, he always refuses my money but it seems to me that he is giving me what he does for a living. I usually say that if he doesn't take my money I will not feel good about asking for his help in the future, that usually works, when I doesn't I give it to his wife. She always takes it.

After Hurricane Dennis seriously damaged our house a woman we knew showed up with her kids and spent several 12+ hour days digging our belongings out of the sand and mud and cleaning them. Not easy outside in stifling heat with little cleaning equipment. I knew her and her family, they were very poor people. She worked as a maid in various people's houses, I am sure she was giving up work to help us. She was insulted when I offered her money, and I could tell it was real. Eventually I convinced her that I would be repaid by FEMA only then she reluctantly took the money. She taught me a lesson in humility. Oh, and FEMA did nothing for us, I feel a bit guilty lying about it, but it was a very white lie.
 
I always write a personal note and enclose a $25.00 gift card. For Christmas I always gift the two maintenance men at the complex $50.00 Visa gift cards in a Christmas card. I also give them $25.00 gift cards on their birthdays. They bring my mail each day and take my trash to the dumpster each week. These are things they do not have to do but do as we are friends.
 
Blessed said:
Some people just want to help because it makes them feel good. If it is a big job, I would send a thank you card with a restaurant card, or if only a man I would send a gift care to Lowes or Home Depot.
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Despite being told it was not necessary, a friend gave us a restaurant card, good for several different ones, to thank us for checking on their cat while they were out of town. The thing is all those restaurants are at least a 25 mile drive for us. And since my mom moved in, my husband and I are not able to go out to eat together (can’t leave her home alone). I’d would so much rather have had a card to Lowes or Home Depot.
With my closest neighbor, we try to exchange a favor for a favor.
 
MountainRa said:
With my closest neighbor, we try to exchange a favor for a favor.
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I am one of the younger tenants in my apartment building. When a friend ( she's 82) on the 2nd floor needs to do laundry, she calls me or another neighbor and we carry it down for her. When done, she calls for help back upstairs. Same goes for appts. to her doc or dentist, or health care. She keeps going every day to the trash, a short walk outside for five minutes so she is trying to stay independent.
She is so appreciative, and tries to repay it. She will give us a BIGIF muffin pack, or share a chocolate cake. We would never accept anything more from her.
At times, she will call to check in if she hasn't seen me about, to make sure I'm feeling well, and offering anything she can do for me. This means a lot to me, makes me chuckle, because one day I will need her.
I have occasionally sent her a card to make her laugh, or brought her goodies I made. The most important thing I do....look her right in the eye, and tell her how fortunate I am to have a neighbor to visit and listen to my blitherings, and unimportant events of daily life. It's an even swap.......and she understands.
It makes us both happy and smiling.
 
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