What to watch out for after experiencing multiple losses in less than 6 months.

fancicoffee13

fancicoffee13

Senior Member
Location
Texas
I lost someone in July, then in December and shortly thereafter not a physical loss but a loss none the less. I am watching out and staying social, going to church, keeping my mind and body busy. But, I know that this year has been a year of losses of different types. My marriage, members passing, and some just going bonkers. I have to keep my sanity and still be healthy while in my 70's. I am healthy, but just want to make sure.
 

fancicoffee13 said:
I lost someone in July, then in December and shortly thereafter not a physical loss but a loss none the less. I am watching out and staying social, going to church, keeping my mind and body busy. But, I know that this year has been a year of losses of different types. My marriage, members passing, and some just going bonkers. I have to keep my sanity and still be healthy while in my 70's. I am healthy, but just want to make sure.
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Thank you for the heart and hugs. Very welcome
 
fancicoffee13 said:
I lost someone in July, then in December and shortly thereafter not a physical loss but a loss none the less. I am watching out and staying social, going to church, keeping my mind and body busy. But, I know that this year has been a year of losses of different types. My marriage, members passing, and some just going bonkers. I have to keep my sanity and still be healthy while in my 70's. I am healthy, but just want to make sure.
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Thank you, all of you. It just hit tonight and grief, thank goodness, doesn't last forever.
 
I hate to disappoint you, but grief does last forever. You may learn to deal with it in different ways but it is always there, ready to take you to your knees when you least expect it. That is the constant, the thing you can't escape when you lose people closest to you. The abosolute truth is there is no getting over it. You will carry the weight of those losses in your heart forever. You may learn to hide or deal with it better but it is still there just the same IMO.
 
I know to this day each of my losses and hurts will never completely heal. They are too deep and no matter how much time passes...every so often the hurt returns to remind me it's still there. It's like I catch a glimpse of it here and there. Sometimes it just makes me sad. Other times it makes me cry.

I am learning to embrace it and comfort myself the best I can. It's all any of us can do.
 
I think grief varies between the people we lose. I loved my parents but it’s the natural order of life and expected. The pain definitely lessens with time as it has when my friends have died. My friends that have lost spouses say the same.

For my friends that have lost children that pain is different and much more intense. I hope that I never find out. All of us experience pain differently and some people are more resilient than others which I think is biological.
 
Pinky said:
Difficult as it can be, we have to do it for ourselves .. and, we can start all over again.

Grief is not something that can be overcome, though it lessens over time.
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Thank you, Pinky. I have found a way that gives me hope and a way to go forward.
 
Blessed said:
I hate to disappoint you, but grief does last forever. You may learn to deal with it in different ways but it is always there, ready to take you to your knees when you least expect it. That is the constant, the thing you can't escape when you lose people closest to you. The abosolute truth is there is no getting over it. You will carry the weight of those losses in your heart forever. You may learn to hide or deal with it better but it is still there just the same IMO.
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This is very true, unfortunately. I lost my husband in October and I have days I feel halfway "normal" but then, like on Sunday.....WHAM......it hit me like a ton of bricks. Out of nowhere and I was sobbing and screaming, and, yes, it did bring me to my knees. I have a difficult time sleeping because no matter how tired I am when I go to bed, that awful day replays in my head like a record going around and around. It's the worse experience I've ever known. I'm sure, in time, I'll deal with it differently, but I can't imagine it ever going away. I'd like to get to the point where I can take that grief and put it in it's own room and shut the door.
 
Colleen said:
This is very true, unfortunately. I lost my husband in October and I have days I feel halfway "normal" but then, like on Sunday.....WHAM......it hit me like a ton of bricks. Out of nowhere and I was sobbing and screaming, and, yes, it did bring me to my knees. I have a difficult time sleeping because no matter how tired I am when I go to bed, that awful day replays in my head like a record going around and around. It's the worse experience I've ever known. I'm sure, in time, I'll deal with it differently, but I can't imagine it ever going away. I'd like to get to the point where I can take that grief and put it in it's own room and shut the door.
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Perhaps the worse of it is that it just takes time. And it's not a fixed amount of time, or something you can plan for. Acceptance will take it's time to arrive, and will do so first in small ways you'll probably miss. If only there were a pill or exercise that could get you there, but that's not how it goes. Also try to remember, the grief is over the loss, but along with that loss you no doubt had a lot of great times, and you don't ever want those memories to go away.
 
It has been written about that loss is one of the major stressors, and if you have several losses within six months, you have to be extremely careful to minimize anymore stress so you don't become ill. Stress can lead to illness.
 

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