@Colleen, I know you were surprised to receive a Happy Mother's day text from your son or his girlfriend. I hope it is true and genuine but given everything you have said about your estrangment it makes me question, why is he reaching out now?
Are the two of them plotting to get back in you good graces. Your husband has passed and you are 77. You appear to have property, funds that must go somewhere. Could they be thinking they would like to recieve your estate. If they come back in your life with constant attention, it would spook me.
I guess I have always been a person that sees people for what they want and who they are. It does make anyone sensitive if they send red flags. Genuine love and care can easily idetified. Deceit is tricky. I have been struggling with a similar problem, not with my son but my DIL.
Our dearest family friend passed in 2020. I took care of him in his home and mine when he was ill.
He came here to live after a below the knee due to diabetes. He was here about 3 months. I took him to the doctor, physical therapy and to get his prothesis. I cooked his healthy meals and snacks. We did bed baths the body areas I could. I left him to take care of his private areas. I washed his hair, trimmed hair and nails. Washed his clothes, changed his bed and emptied his bedside commode. The funny thing is I would give him a grade when he had a bowel movement.
Just imagine getting a A+ for a good BM. We both just rolled with laughter.
After this ordeal, he said her was going to leave everything to me. I told him I am fine, if you want to leave something, leave it to my son. And so he did, the estate, his home, his car, his money, all his possesions..
Point of the story is that my son is married. A 50m VEHICLE was left. My son does not drive this as an everyday vehicle, he still drives his old car. They do use the car for family trips but wonder why he does not drive it everyday. My son tells me the proceeds from the house and the money have been placed in retirement accounts.
My friend did those so they could have a good start planning for retirement. I do love my DIL but she if one of those high maintenance girls. She is gorgeous in her natural state but feels the need to have expensive hair care, nails, clothes. Things I just find frivolous for such a pretty girl. It seems to me my son and my grandson do not matter as long as she gets what she wants.
There is not a thing I can say or do, they are adults. I can, however, make changes to my will which would prevent them from spending my money on stupid things for a long time. A time that would allow them to realize everything you want is not everything you need. There is a great difference. Of course, I could bypass then altogether and leave everything to grandson to receive when he is old enough to make good choices
