Pecos
Well-known Member
- Location
- Washington State
Did your CO or Senior Enlisted Leader ever call or meet your parents?
The reason I ask is because I was talking with one of my neighbors about talking to the parents of one of my sailors and he was astonished that anyone in his Chain-of-Command would ever do anything like that. Granted, he was not in the military as long as I was, nor was he senior enough to have been put in the position of having to do that.
I explained that my view was that these were young men and women and that I had encountered several instances where talking to the parents was either a big help, or at least provided insight into the way an 18 or 19 year old was thinking.
- We had a young man in Spain who got hooked on a readily available drug that he could buy on the Spanish economy. He was a good kid, but we just could not get him to stop using it, and we could not completely block his access to it short of putting him in the brig, and we had no justification for locking him up that would stand legal review. Restricting him to the barracks didn't stop it. His parents were very helpful and flew over within a few days to have a heart-to-heart talk with him, especially about the long term risk to his health. He was already aging at a very rapid rate and alarming our base Doctors. They were a big help and glad to do it.
- We had another young man in Spain who was constantly in trouble and had already had a Special Court Martial for theft and assault. He was headed for another more severe Court Martial which would seriously disrupt his future. I talked to his father and asked if he thought that he could talk some sense into his son. The son was very intelligent and talented and it just struck me as a total waste. His father essentially told me that he did not give a d___m. No help at all and we wound up having to Court Martial him again, slap him in the brig for several months and give him a Bad Conduct Discharge.
- In Korea, I had a young man who got a bad infection in his hand and the medical help we were getting from the Army Hospital was not helping. The infection kept getting worse and I was afraid that he would lose his hand. Finally, I called his parents in Maryland and talked to them. I put him on an outgoing flight and they agreed to take their son down to the big Naval Hospital in Bethesda. A few days later I got a formal message from the Chief of Naval Personnel directing me to ship all of his possessions to the Naval Hospital because he was going to be there for awhile. They saved his hand, and I never got him back. He was reassigned to a station close to the hospital. These parents were very helpful as I was getting nowhere in Korea.
- I had an 18 year old from the Oklahoma who was bound and determined to marry a 38 year old hooker who had already given him VD, had cut him with a knife, and had tried to have him arrested for something that did not happen since he was on watch at the same time. I did everything that I could to dissuade him, numerous counseling sessions with me and a variety of legal and mental experts. He continued to insist that he was going to marry this woman. I tried talking her out of it as well with no success and I was going to have to give him formal permission. Finally I called his father and explained that I needed his help. The father told me that he didn't give a damn. Luckily, an opportunity came up to send someone with his skill set to the Philippines for three months. I sent him down there where he promptly fell in love with a young Philippine girl. He came back to Korea, forgot about the older woman and spent the rest of his tour trying to get back to the Philippines and get married down there. No help from that sorry excuse for a father, even telling him what was going to show up on his doorstep had no affect. (I need to comment that we had several young men marry Korean girls and I met them all including those who worked in the bar district. I had no reason to block any of them.)
- Over the years, I had quite a number of young men and women bring their parents into my office for a cup of coffee. One young man brought his father in to my office where I learned that the father was staying out in the local Korean bar district outside the base. Obviously, not the ideal place for a 72 year old man. I had the barracks manager fix the father up with a room in the barrack, where he stayed for two weeks. He came back the next year and proved to be an asset to have around my sailors and marines really liked having a Grandfather around and he was marvelous in that role. He attended all of their sports events and tended the bar in the lounge from time to time. The Admiral came down one day and didn't raise an eyebrow when I told him the story, in fact the Admiral really liked him.
So, did your Chain-of-Command ever talk to your parents?
The reason I ask is because I was talking with one of my neighbors about talking to the parents of one of my sailors and he was astonished that anyone in his Chain-of-Command would ever do anything like that. Granted, he was not in the military as long as I was, nor was he senior enough to have been put in the position of having to do that.
I explained that my view was that these were young men and women and that I had encountered several instances where talking to the parents was either a big help, or at least provided insight into the way an 18 or 19 year old was thinking.
- We had a young man in Spain who got hooked on a readily available drug that he could buy on the Spanish economy. He was a good kid, but we just could not get him to stop using it, and we could not completely block his access to it short of putting him in the brig, and we had no justification for locking him up that would stand legal review. Restricting him to the barracks didn't stop it. His parents were very helpful and flew over within a few days to have a heart-to-heart talk with him, especially about the long term risk to his health. He was already aging at a very rapid rate and alarming our base Doctors. They were a big help and glad to do it.
- We had another young man in Spain who was constantly in trouble and had already had a Special Court Martial for theft and assault. He was headed for another more severe Court Martial which would seriously disrupt his future. I talked to his father and asked if he thought that he could talk some sense into his son. The son was very intelligent and talented and it just struck me as a total waste. His father essentially told me that he did not give a d___m. No help at all and we wound up having to Court Martial him again, slap him in the brig for several months and give him a Bad Conduct Discharge.
- In Korea, I had a young man who got a bad infection in his hand and the medical help we were getting from the Army Hospital was not helping. The infection kept getting worse and I was afraid that he would lose his hand. Finally, I called his parents in Maryland and talked to them. I put him on an outgoing flight and they agreed to take their son down to the big Naval Hospital in Bethesda. A few days later I got a formal message from the Chief of Naval Personnel directing me to ship all of his possessions to the Naval Hospital because he was going to be there for awhile. They saved his hand, and I never got him back. He was reassigned to a station close to the hospital. These parents were very helpful as I was getting nowhere in Korea.
- I had an 18 year old from the Oklahoma who was bound and determined to marry a 38 year old hooker who had already given him VD, had cut him with a knife, and had tried to have him arrested for something that did not happen since he was on watch at the same time. I did everything that I could to dissuade him, numerous counseling sessions with me and a variety of legal and mental experts. He continued to insist that he was going to marry this woman. I tried talking her out of it as well with no success and I was going to have to give him formal permission. Finally I called his father and explained that I needed his help. The father told me that he didn't give a damn. Luckily, an opportunity came up to send someone with his skill set to the Philippines for three months. I sent him down there where he promptly fell in love with a young Philippine girl. He came back to Korea, forgot about the older woman and spent the rest of his tour trying to get back to the Philippines and get married down there. No help from that sorry excuse for a father, even telling him what was going to show up on his doorstep had no affect. (I need to comment that we had several young men marry Korean girls and I met them all including those who worked in the bar district. I had no reason to block any of them.)
- Over the years, I had quite a number of young men and women bring their parents into my office for a cup of coffee. One young man brought his father in to my office where I learned that the father was staying out in the local Korean bar district outside the base. Obviously, not the ideal place for a 72 year old man. I had the barracks manager fix the father up with a room in the barrack, where he stayed for two weeks. He came back the next year and proved to be an asset to have around my sailors and marines really liked having a Grandfather around and he was marvelous in that role. He attended all of their sports events and tended the bar in the lounge from time to time. The Admiral came down one day and didn't raise an eyebrow when I told him the story, in fact the Admiral really liked him.
So, did your Chain-of-Command ever talk to your parents?
Last edited:
