Who cherishes the men in this world in the age of equality, (married folks excepted)?

grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
Victor said:
To answer the OP. No one cherishes men in the West. in general A woman or perhaps man may cherish her spouse or SO or family member Cherish is too strong. Love or hold dear. But there are conditions for this passion for everyone. You might cherish him as long as you get your way all the time
Leaders in the women's movement ended and hated the notion of women cherishing men! Feminists argue that men are not needed at all. Like a dessert. Disdained not cherish Well at least most of us should get respect
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A very strong position to take, (differing widely from others on the forum obviously!).
I can't really give you a balancing argument, though perhaps you'll accept there is some satisfaction, (or reasons to be thankful), if any kids produced during our marriages, "turned out okay"!
 

grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
grahamg said:
A very strong position to take, (differing widely from others on the forum obviously!).
I can't really give you a balancing argument, though perhaps you'll accept there is some satisfaction, (or reasons to be thankful), if any kids produced during our marriages, "turned out okay"!
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Oh, I have now thought of a " balancing argument", and it is that none of us wants, or expects a return to the strictures of the past, (to put it as blandly as I can).

Only modest improvements perhaps, in the assumptions courts make, that kind of thing, as previously argued for by much cleverer people than I will ever be, in our UK parliament!
 
Remy

Remy

Senior Member
Location
California, USA
I personally have a great dislike for the putdown of men. I was listening to KGO news talk in San Francisco one day and a man called in and stated he had held the door for a young woman and she shot back "I don't need that!" The male host brushed it off by saying "that's just a broken person." Well I don't care if they are, it's not an excuse to treat other's like sh!t. And they probably think they are just super cool, probably have a boyfriend and were raised with a father in their life.

For people like me who had a provider stepfather but who never did anything to protect us, I think men matter. And kindness matters. Now maybe that nice man will think twice before he holds a door open for another women and perhaps that woman could have done with a bit of kindness that day.

I don't care who you are, I've had doors held open for me by men, women, all ages, races, sizes, a woman wearing a hijab, I kindly thanked them all and truly appreciated their kindness.

Maybe if someone thinks that men don't matter, they had the privilege of having good men in their life and just take them for granted. And oh yeah, my bio dad didn't care much about me either.
 

David777

David777

Member
Location
Silicon Valley


INDEED! we...bark bark..luv & cherish our earth monkey masters
 
grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
Remy said:
I personally have a great dislike for the putdown of men. I was listening to KGO news talk in San Francisco one day and a man called in and stated he had held the door for a young woman and she shot back "I don't need that!" The male host brushed it off by saying "that's just a broken person." Well I don't care if they are, it's not an excuse to treat other's like sh!t. And they probably think they are just super cool, probably have a boyfriend and were raised with a father in their life.

For people like me who had a provider stepfather but who never did anything to protect us, I think men matter. And kindness matters. Now maybe that nice man will think twice before he holds a door open for another women and perhaps that woman could have done with a bit of kindness that day.

I don't care who you are, I've had doors held open for me by men, women, all ages, races, sizes, a woman wearing a hijab, I kindly thanked them all and truly appreciated their kindness.

Maybe if someone thinks that men don't matter, they had the privilege of having good men in their life and just take them for granted. And oh yeah, my bio dad didn't care much about me either.
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Hard luck with the situation over your "bio dad", (apologies that I sound flippant saying that).

Its funny that I do feel odd myself, should the opportunity arise to hold a door open for someone, (especially a woman), but as you get older folks start holding doors open for you don't they!

Its hard to know what to think, "in a world full of exes",(ex wives, ex husbands, expartners of all kinds), where if some of us were to meet them again it would be hard to imagine any "normal conversation," being possible!

Is it the hurt caused, the knowledge putdowns are all you could expect, "what is it" (?).

At risk of setting off certain armchair experts I'd guess it is the trauma that is in your mind, that yes took a long time to recover from, and goodness knows how folks cope in the age of the "quickie divorce", (as has arrived here in the UK now!).
 
dseag2

dseag2

Dallas, TX
Location
Dallas, TX
Lavinia said:
Now why did you say that? My post makes no reference to gay men! Actually, like many women, I enjoy the company of gay men simply because we can relax , knowing we are seen as the people we are; rather than sex objects.
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Aaaahhh, perhaps because of your response to me in this thread? :unsure: You either have a very short memory or are the most disingenuous person I have encountered in this forum. If you can explain your comment I will be happy to reconsider your position. Your gay friends must have loads of fun with you!:rolleyes: Oh, maybe you just enjoy their company as they flatter you, but you criticize them after they leave.

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/strange-illness-outbreak-reported-in-fla.70379/#post-2069416

And I will also go further and say that LGBTQ includes Trans people. Although I may not understand the feelings they have, I am supportive because they are part of the larger community, and if your supposed "gay friends" don't accept them they do not belong in the community. You were the one who saw fit to originate this post.

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/there-are-two-basics-facts-which-need-to-be-accepted.69874/

I have a good memory, so didn't try to bull**t me. (n)
 
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L

Lavinia

Senior Member
dseag2 said:
Aaaahhh, perhaps because of your response to me in this thread? :unsure: You either have a very short memory or are the most disingenuous person I have encountered in this forum. If you can explain your comment I will be happy to reconsider your position. Your gay friends must have loads of fun with you!:rolleyes: Oh, maybe you just enjoy their company as they flatter you, but you criticize them after they leave.

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/strange-illness-outbreak-reported-in-fla.70379/#post-2069416

And I will also go further and say that LGBTQ includes Trans people. Although I may not understand the feelings they have, I am supportive because they are part of the larger community, and if your supposed "gay friends" don't accept them they do not belong in the community. You were the one who saw fit to originate this post.

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/there-are-two-basics-facts-which-need-to-be-accepted.69874/

I have a good memory, so didn't try to bull**t me. (n)
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Yes, I do remember the post to which you refer. Your response was completely irrational. Like many homosexual men, you see slights where there are none and take everything personally.
To clarify, I have no problem with homosexual people. I merely stated that the sexual practises in which gay men indulge is the cause of certain diseases.
In fact, here in Britain, there is now yet another illness which is spreading among gay men.
 
grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
dseag2 said:
Break
I have a good memory, so didn't try to bull**t me. (n)
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Everyone has their feelings obviously, (as you'll have noticed when someone takes umbrage or tells me I've said enough on fathers/parents rights etc.), and yes you have a good memory as I think I have too on many issues, (though I can forget where I'm going sometimes), but I'd guess attempts to hold out the hand of friendship to those who might disagree with either of us could pay dividends for us all, rather than get too riled up!
 
JustDave

JustDave

Member
Being treated with respect would be a good start for a relationship. After that, a lot of things can happen, and sometimes they are very good. I don't think I need to be cherished, but I may be using an extreme definition of the word. "Loved" would be my preference. All this is precious, because it's not the usual case. Maybe even rare. But I think "special" is the way to describe it, assuming these needs are mutual.
 
grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
JustDave said:
Being treated with respect would be a good start for a relationship. After that, a lot of things can happen, and sometimes they are very good. I don't think I need to be cherished, but I may be using an extreme definition of the word. "Loved" would be my preference. All this is precious, because it's not the usual case. Maybe even rare. But I think "special" is the way to describe it, assuming these needs are mutual.
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I'm reminded of a discussion I overheard on a beach in Nice, on my first visit to the south of France in 1989, (I've only been there twice so not greatly experienced in visiting the Mediterranean coast).

These two fairly young American women were discussing their boyfriends/love life, as a couple of very young teenage boys were mucking about on the beach near them.

They said about one particular boyfriend, their relationship "included feelings and everything", (something like that, if memory serves me correctly?).

It sounded as though, for at least these two young women, "feelings were optional" in a relationship!

My mother would have warned me about falling into their hands no doubt, (cant recall what my dad would or might have said, though I doubt it would have been complimentary).

There's a chance they're happily married today of course, but I'd guess an "equal chance" they're not cherishing whatever partners they might have!
 
L

Leann

Member
Back to the OP, I haven't read through this entire thread because I have an issue with the word "cherish". Do you mean valued?
 
L

Leann

Member
dseag2 said:
@Lavinia I completely agree with your comments, and especially re: admiring the stamina of women. I had a former female boss who rose to become president of my former company. We were always close and I always admired her intelligence and perseverance.

With that said, it is too bad you have such a dim view of gay men because we revere women perhaps more than even women themselves. And women find us non-threatening, which is another big plus. I know I won't change your mind but I thought I'd put it out there.
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Just for the record, I don't have a dim view of gay men ❤️
 
grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
Leann said:
Back to the OP, I haven't read through this entire thread because I have an issue with the word "cherish". Do you mean valued?
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I don't really know why I chose "cherished", other than its a word you don't hear used so much nowadays, and I'm unsure whether "valued" would have done instead, or created the same discussion(?).

Maybe "cherished" conjures up in my mind "unconditional love", but I could be just trying to rationalise something I hadn't questioned in my own mind that much.
 
dseag2

dseag2

Dallas, TX
Location
Dallas, TX
Lavinia said:
Yes, I do remember the post to which you refer. Your response was completely irrational. Like many homosexual men, you see slights where there are none and take everything personally.
To clarify, I have no problem with homosexual people. I merely stated that the sexual practises in which gay men indulge is the cause of certain diseases.
In fact, here in Britain, there is now yet another illness which is spreading among gay men.
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Blah, blah, blah, blah... homophobic... blah, blah, blah.
 
Lara

Lara

SeaGlass Seeker
Location
Mid-Atlantic Coast
Being cherished is a two-way street. It must be shared. I cherish men who cherish women.
Like Paul Newman, when asked how he stayed faithful to his wife in Hollywood, replied
"Why would I have hamburger when I've got steak at home?"
 
L

Lavinia

Senior Member
Lara said:
Generally speaking, women aren't in an "Age of Equality" with men as you say in your thread title.
We're closer but we aren't there yet...with wages for one.
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Unfortunately, too many men think the role of women is to serve the needs of men. They are usually brought into the world by a woman and it is usually a woman who tends them while they are growing up. This imprints them with an image of the female serving the male. Perhaps if more mothers made their boys do domestic tasks, it might change that way of thinking.
 
grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
As far as "equality" goes, if those friends from another forum are correct, us men are not equal to you women, because most of us are quite thick in the head they said, (admittedly a generalisation, but nonetheless worth thinking about).

Then there is the do more tasks etc. argument, well yes and no to that one! Some of us men doubt very much that it was the number of tasks around the house we might or might not have done that lead to your missus having her head turned by someone she thought of as "more of a man" than you were, (or she'd become bored with you etc.).

Cherishing being only possible if its a two way street, well you've got a chicken and egg situation there, "who starts cherishing the other first" being an obvious question(?).

Then there is whether men want, or even should want to be "just like a woman", (i.e. try to fulfil the same role in life, or as near as biology will allow?)!

Then there is Fathers 4 Justice, the UK campaigning group that grabbed so many headlines, by getting on to the balcony at Buckingham Palace, and then throwing purple four at Prime Minister Tony Blair in the House of Commons. They seem to think "equality" is the answer too, but do most men really want to provide the same level of care as a mother might be expected to do, (obviously some do, and even more if their partner leaves them and the kids behind, for whatever reason, but most of us are more limited in our ambitions I'd say).

Still, I'll do some more research and try to discover what experts might say on the need for men to be cherished by someone, (particularly young men, where suicide remains the most common cause of death in age groups up to about thirty I believe).
 
grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
Here is an expert talking on the thread subject I think, (cant hear what she's saying on the library computer unfortunately, so I'll have to trust to luck - a man thing that often infuriates women I believe!).

 

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