Who Were You Closer To As A Child, Your Mother or Your Father?

It had to be

Jeannine said:
It is upright
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Dear Jeannine,
knowing you briefly on this forum your handwriting had to be upright if you'd said you were equally influenced by each of your parents, because that is exactly what a graphologist friend of mine says is the case :)!

My handwriting leans to the right, so therefore indicating I was more influenced by my mother than my father, which is certainly true in my early/formative years.

I should never have doubted you!
 

Some of you folks were very lucky to have parents you were close to! Very lucky. My alcoholic dad left when I was nine or ten and my mom is a controlling and critical person, so I would say 'neither' although my mom did do her duty by us when we were little. But I also left home right after my 16th birthday.
 
I am so sorry to hear that Debby,it is hard to understand why folks do what they do, especially your Mum, she probably had her own demons to have to live with or get over , maybe she just did the best she could,

I have always considered myself lucky I have to admit and it is very hard to even try to get into the skin of another which is the only way to understand , but I am sorry and I wish I could change that for you.


XX Jeannine
I could adopt you, not meant to be sarcastic, meant very lovingly.
 

Can you adopt me too?

Jeannine said:
I am so sorry to hear that Debby,it is hard to understand why folks do what they do, especially your Mum, she probably had her own demons to have to live with or get over , maybe she just did the best she could,

I have always considered myself lucky I have to admit and it is very hard to even try to get into the skin of another which is the only way to understand , but I am sorry and I wish I could change that for you.


XX Jeannine
I could adopt you, not meant to be sarcastic, meant very lovingly.
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I could do with being adopted too -:D - but I guess I dont qualify as my parents were incredibly good to us seven children and I grew up with a great feeling of security.

I am though protesting about the way three of my sisters treated my father at the end of his life - keeping him in a room with curtains closed all day long to prevent him beckoning me in when I went down to the house next door to where I'm sitting now, so thirty yards away. A friend of mine tries to tell me, now my father has died, that I should focus on myself or my eviction from the farm, or whatever it is she thinks should be my highest priority, whilst I continue to think I can include trying to protest our local UK police's indifference to my father being denied views and light can be fitted into my currently crowded life. She cant say though, how she would feel if her own parents had been treated badly by her own siblings.

Sorry for that off topic aside but it just arose tonight.
 
That is also very sad and I can sense you are hurting , you are also angry which is understandable and there is grief too.

I wish I had some magic words for you but I don't, however I do care about people and it saddens me to hear a story like this even from someone I don't know.

I cannot even imagine how I would feel if this had happened to my Dad and I hope you can come to terms with what you feel you need to do . I do know you should be the person to choose what your highest priority is.

I wish you all the best I can in dealing with this burden .

Sincerely

XX Jeannine
 
Jeannine said:
I am so sorry to hear that Debby,it is hard to understand why folks do what they do, especially your Mum, she probably had her own demons to have to live with or get over , maybe she just did the best she could,

I have always considered myself lucky I have to admit and it is very hard to even try to get into the skin of another which is the only way to understand , but I am sorry and I wish I could change that for you.


XX Jeannine
I could adopt you, not meant to be sarcastic, meant very lovingly.
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She did do the best she could Jeannine and I will never fault her for anything because it was hard being a single mom with a grade 8 education and she just has that kind of personality. As an adult, I've learned to recognize that we are all wired differently, but as a kid it wasn't something that I understood at all.

Even with my dad who left us, I was really scared and lost feeling when he disappeared, then I became very angry at him, but finally I began to understand that he just shouldn't have been a dad in the first place. Just not suited to it and so I began to get over the anger. Since I think we see family again when we die, I'm actually looking forward to a 'sit-down' with him to tell him that:rolleyes:.

But thank you for your kindness and I'd be happy to be adopted by someone as nice as you! You had a 'beautiful flavour' the this Seniors 'stew pot'!
 
grahamg said:
I could do with being adopted too -:D - but I guess I dont qualify as my parents were incredibly good to us seven children and I grew up with a great feeling of security.

I am though protesting about the way three of my sisters treated my father at the end of his life - keeping him in a room with curtains closed all day long to prevent him beckoning me in when I went down to the house next door to where I'm sitting now, so thirty yards away. A friend of mine tries to tell me, now my father has died, that I should focus on myself or my eviction from the farm, or whatever it is she thinks should be my highest priority, whilst I continue to think I can include trying to protest our local UK police's indifference to my father being denied views and light can be fitted into my currently crowded life. She cant say though, how she would feel if her own parents had been treated badly by her own siblings.

Sorry for that off topic aside but it just arose tonight.
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That's so sad that your dad's life was like that in his last days! Every aging adults nightmare!

Should you 'protest' it, sure, because that's how changes happens, but at the same time, don't forget to take care of yourself and your needs.
 
Debby that is the nicest thing anyone has said about me for a long time and I shall treasure it, thank you.

I believe when you reunite with your parents you won't take your questions or baggage with you but it ia wonderful to hear that you have the comfort that you will see them again.

Thank you again

Jeannine
 
Probably my mom. She was a stay-at-home mom(which was common in her day) while my dad worked away form home for periods, only returning on week-ends. They were both incredible parents and I couldn't have been more fortunate to have them. I was an only child. My folks were married for 13 years before I came along and it was almost the end for my mother. She was hospitalized for an extended period to recover. This was in the early 30's when medical science was a bit more limited than today.

Sadly, they both passed away in their early sixties, within 5 months of each other but they did get to see our 4 kids before they passed, although these grandkids were only between 9 and 3 years in age. The two older kids remember them but the younger 2 only remember them from photos.
 
When I was young, my mother and grandmother. If my mom was working, my granny was looking after me, as my dad worked crazy shifts and was out of town a lot. As I became a young man, my dad.
 
Complicated question. I am the third of six children. My father was a man with a temper. He would literally beat the tar out of us kids. I mean beat with sticks fists boots whatever was handy. Conversely he was a great father, he would take me to work with him,taught me to hunt, went camping,fishing and family vacations . When I was 12 I alone was selected to climb Mt. Marcy in the Adirondacks with him.
He still lives and we see each other at least weekly,out of the six I was selected to be his executer when the time comes.

I never felt a drop of love from my mother. All the others had something special about them . My oldest brother was her favorite,nothing was to good for him. His birthday and mine are 3 days apart. I can remember one birthday, we all gathered to celebrate. The cake read "Happy Birthday Dan" in beautiful bakery script, underneath in hurriedly scripted tube decoration was scribbled "and Ken"

I asked my father once about it and he said that she figured I was independent and didn't need the support the others got.

When my mother passed I don't think I felt any emotion at all.
 
My mother passed 45 years ago..when I was just a teen ... I cry still for her occasionally and think of her most days...



Conversely I hope the evil sperm donor who passed himself off as my father rots in hell ... The only thing I felt when he died was sheer overwhelming relief he was no longer in the world to harm another person... It was literally like the world had been cleansed...at least MY world!!
 
We were a Brady Bunch family when I was young and growing up so I was close to both my mother and father equally. When I was older my father cheated on my mother, then divorced and remarried after 30 years to a mean manipulative woman with 3 grown children. They were both cheaters. She destroyed him and divided him from me and my siblings as well. She destroyed his business and put the final nail in his coffin. He was a smart strong man but was weak with women much to his demise. Don't cheat on your spouses. It's destructive beyond imagination.
 
hollydolly said:
My mother passed 45 years ago..when I was just a teen ... I cry still for her occasionally and think of her most days...



Conversely I hope my the evil sperm donor who passed himself off as my father rots in hell ... The only thing I felt when he died was sheer overwhelming relief he was no longer in the world to harm another person... It was literally like the world had been cleansed...at least MY world!!
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Soooooo, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm picking up subtle hints that you were closer to yer mom...
 
i stayed with my mom all the time she raised 4 kids but there was no affection--her and my dad separated when i was 9--he died when he was 42 my mom passed at 101
 
My Dad. No doubt about it. We were best friends. I almost drowned in the neighbor's pool a few days after I graduated. A kid lived in the house where the pool was located and he graduated the same time as me, so his parents had a party for their son and all of his friends and neighbors. My Dad was there and I got caught up in a rope that went across the pool that marked the deep end. We took it down to play volleyball. After the game was over, I went down to the bottom to retrieve the rope and it got caught around my leg and I couldn't untangle it. Thankfully, my Dad was paying attention and jumped in and got me untangled from it. My air was running low at the time and I was beginning to panic.
 

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