Winter Holiday problems comment.

Well, let’s see. In my half of the world, the outside is cold, wet and dark. What better time to display colorful lights and have indoor festivities. I don't personally celebrate New Year, but if it’s an excuse to see old friends, I will take it for that.
 

Many years ago I celebrated New Year's Eve, but as time has gone by, so many celebrations now consist of gunshots, neighborhood fireworks raining down on houses, and unsafe streets (at least that's how it is in Texas). I dread the occasion every year and look forward to it being over.
 
Aunt Bea said:
Actively celebrating Christmas was important to me when there were small children around but now I’m content to watch from the sidelines.

I haven’t been out to celebrate a New Year’s Eve. since 1985.

The new year is a time for me to take stock of my situation.

On New Year’s Day I do a quick back of the envelope calculation of my expenses, assets, and tax liability.

Not very wild and exciting. 😉🤭😂
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And why should it be (wild and exciting), right? After hitting 60 and 70, most of us have had enough excitement. And there's nothing wrong about that.

I used to get all jazzed over the next baseball tournament; worked out all week, got in as much practice as possible, called team meetings to go over the opposing teams stats, and strategize and get hyped up. We could spend an hour just talking about the field being too grassy or the dirt being too loose, or even notoriously crooked chalk-lines.

Wait, did I say 'talk'? I meant yell, because that's how we talked. Because we were excited. Well, no duh; it was baseball season.

Those days are gone, and I'm fine with that. Baseball seasons come and go, and I don't even watch the games on TV anymore. I've got no skin in the game now. Same with the holidays.

My youngest grandkids are teenagers now. I spent the night at their house Christmas Eve for a couple of years, when Paxton was a baby. It was a hoot, all of us spending the night in their room, listening for the sleigh bells, them telling grampa to hurry up and go to sleep so morning would come quicker.

That was 3, 4 years ago. This year, me & Michelle went over there for a couple hours late Christmas morning. The kids pretty much stayed in their rooms, trying out their new guitars, programming their new phones and whatnot.

Time didn't just pass for me, it passed for all of us. So, yeah, the holidays are different, but that's normal. They're still nice...just nothin' to yell about.
 

Years ago, right after Christmas there was a frantic search for the perfect, fancy dress. Prices for the evening were through the roof. All the expectations were usually a letdown.

NYE is the last night I want to be on the road. Friends finally gave up asking and me making an excuse. Even by early afternoon there‘re some imbibers. I prefer to have my bubbly (actually a wine with dinner) at home so I can go to bed by 11, if not earlier.
 
I don't remember a Christmas season when I've felt so alone and sad since my mom passed 2 days after Thanksgiving in 2006. Mom belonged to a lot of civic groups back in the 1980s and 90s (Friends of the Library, The Grange, the Historical Society) and they all had holiday parties. My mother's side of the family usually has a Christmas party, but even that didn't materialize this year.

New Year's Day was never a big thing in my family. My parents weren't celebrants of that day in the party sense. Dad usually had to work because he took Christmas off. Mom and I would take down the decorations, then when dad had time, he'd dispose of the tree.

The only gifts I received this year were from 3 people that I deliver meals to ($20 dollar bill, a $10 gift card to a local convenience store and a small bottle of lavender body wash), Considering there are 15 clients on my usual route, that's a small percentage. Of course, clients aren't obligated to give the drivers anything and I understand if they are hurting financially or physically and can't get out to shop, but it's nice to be remembered with a small gift. Also, for some reason, I was invited to select a wrapped gift at the library which turned out to be a tin of Walkers shortbread cookies.

I just kept reminiscing about past holidays and how magical and happy it was then and I didn't know it. That made me feel even sadder.
 
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MACKTEXAS said:
Many years ago I celebrated New Year's Eve, but as time has gone by, so many celebrations now consist of gunshots, neighborhood fireworks raining down on houses, and unsafe streets (at least that's how it is in Texas). I dread the occasion every year and look forward to it being over.
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Well, I'm grateful I don't live in that sort of community but I still dislike the whole New Year load of nonsense. My biggest pet peeve is the endless hours of 'looking back' over 'high lights and low lights' of the past year. I don't know exactly why, but hey, I was there and I'm not interested in reminiscing. It's just another day, flip the page on the calendar and move on.
 
Debrah N. said:
I think part of the issue is the group gets smaller every year! You start out with two or three couples and little kids running around to keep up the happy chaos......then the kids get older and always look bored (so no more happy chaos feelings) and then one person passes on and the kids one by one quit coming because they have other family or friends to meet up with and then another person passes away....until you're sitting there with one other person and it's just too quiet and weird.

We'd quit doing Christmas for about ten years, no tree, no dinner, no friends because we were far from everyone but this year we were back with our daughter and her husband and a 7 month old and a 2.5 year old little whirlwind so it was a big improvement. You need the crowd and the kids, otherwise what's the point?
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We don't celebrate Christmas because we are Muslim. I was never one to entertain and though I'm a good cook, I get anxiety if I have to cook for others, so I never hosted a holiday dinner party. My (half) sister on the other hand used to have at least 20 people over, although that part of my family (found when I was 51), is smaller than family from my mother's side. So my issue with celebrating Christmas is different than yours.

How nice that you were back with your family this year. I bet it was a joyful time.
 
Murrmurr said:
And why should it be (wild and exciting), right? After hitting 60 and 70, most of us have had enough excitement. And there's nothing wrong about that.

I used to get all jazzed over the next baseball tournament; worked out all week, got in as much practice as possible, called team meetings to go over the opposing teams stats, and strategize and get hyped up. We could spend an hour just talking about the field being too grassy or the dirt being too loose, or even notoriously crooked chalk-lines.

Wait, did I say 'talk'? I meant yell, because that's how we talked. Because we were excited. Well, no duh; it was baseball season.

Those days are gone, and I'm fine with that. Baseball seasons come and go, and I don't even watch the games on TV anymore. I've got no skin in the game now. Same with the holidays.

My youngest grandkids are teenagers now. I spent the night at their house Christmas Eve for a couple of years, when Paxton was a baby. It was a hoot, all of us spending the night in their room, listening for the sleigh bells, them telling grampa to hurry up and go to sleep so morning would come quicker.

That was 3, 4 years ago. This year, me & Michelle went over there for a couple hours late Christmas morning. The kids pretty much stayed in their rooms, trying out their new guitars, programming their new phones and whatnot.

Time didn't just pass for me, it passed for all of us. So, yeah, the holidays are different, but that's normal. They're still nice...just nothin' to yell about.
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This reminds me a little of a life long friend of mind who did love baseball season more than anything and looked forward to it every year. In 2020 it was cancelled because of the pandemic, He had treatable cancer and he died that summer. There was nothing to look forward to and we all need that. I see now.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
We don't celebrate Christmas because we are Muslim. I was never one to entertain and though I'm a good cook, I get anxiety if I have to cook for others, so I never hosted a holiday dinner party. My (half) sister on the other hand used to have at least 20 people over, although that part of my family (found when I was 51), is smaller than family from my mother's side. So my issue with celebrating Christmas is different than yours.

How nice that you were back with your family this year. I bet it was a joyful time.
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I'm not an interested cook either and I have the same feelings around cooking for others. But I've learned to squash that anxiety down and hope for the best 😉. I made a curry recipe last week, invited the family for supper on Christmas Eve and despite having made it before, I got something a little out of a whack and I sure wasn't happy with it. Yesterday I told my daughter I should have sent them home and gotten them back the next day because it was one of those dishes that needed time to 'mellow' in the fridge because it was wonderful the second time around.

But 20 people! Wow, your sister is way more ambitious and confident then I've ever been.

It was a wonderful time and the babies are fully responsible for that. Love those little boys and we're so lucky to be able to be part of their lives. I make sure to tell my daughter that all the time, just in case she doesn't realize it. Not assuming anything on that score because one day I'll be gone, and then it'll be too late right?
 
Stores either become profitable or bankrupt at Xmas, depending on sales. So, for months before Dec. 25th, we are bombarded with "buying for Xmas". Then there's the TV rerunning every Xmas pic ever made over and over, and over. On Dec. 25th, the sun comes up just like the day before. And, there is no chorus of hundreds of elves singing Xmas songs in a big production number. Adults aren't 5 years old waiting for Santa. Xmas just can't live up to the hype. It's not Xmas's fault.
 
debodun said:
I don't remember a Christmas season when I've felt so alone and sad since my mom passed 2 days after Thanksgiving in 2006. Mom belonged to a lot of civic groups back in the 1980s and 90s (Friends of the Library, The Grange, the Historical Society) and they all had holiday parties. My mother's side of the family usually has a Christmas party, but even that didn't materialize this year.

New Year's Day was never a big thing in my family. My parents weren't celebrants of that day in the party sense. Dad usually had to work because he took Christmas off. Mom and I would take down the decorations, then when dad had time, he'd dispose of the tree.

The only gifts I received this year were from 3 people that I deliver meals to ($20 dollar bill, a $10 gift card to a local convenience store and a small bottle of lavender body wash), Considering there are 15 clients on my usual route, that's a small percentage. Of course, clients aren't obligated to give the drivers anything and I understand if they are hurting financially or physically and can't get out to shop, but it's nice to be remembered with a small gift. Also, for some reason, I was invited to select a wrapped gift at the library which turned out to be a tin of Walkers shortbread cookies.

I just kept reminiscing about past holidays and how magical and happy it was then and I didn't know it. That made me feel even sadder.
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The more things change in the world, the harder life seems....especially around the Holidays.

I think many of us embrace "the good days" of our youth. It's easy to forget to enjoy what we have now......

I hope you find things to smile about. (hugs!)
 
Christmas was really fun when my kids were at home. I don’t have grandchildren and only one of my kids is local. We go out for a fancy dinner the day after Christmas because my dil always has to work on the holidays.

For many years after my kids grew up I would cook for 20 people on Christmas Eve despite having to work that day. I would invite my friends that didn’t have local family. We had so much fun during those years.

On new years we would go to a small bar with 2 other couples. You needed to have reservations and pay in advance for the party. It was always sold out and really fun to dance and listen to the live band which was excellent. They have now retired and I stay home.

Things definitely changed as I got older. I have a dinner in early December for my friends in my condo building which is 5 other people.
 
chic said:
This reminds me a little of a life long friend of mind who did love baseball season more than anything and looked forward to it every year. In 2020 it was cancelled because of the pandemic, He had treatable cancer and he died that summer. There was nothing to look forward to and we all need that. I see now.
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Christmas doesn't promise the same level of excitement as it used to, but I still look forward to it. It's the little things now that make it special.

After Paxton went to live with his new family and Meesh and I were still at the apartments, under the cover of darkness a few nights before Christmas, I put a bunch of his like-new stuffed animals in a laundry basket and set it out on a picnic table near the playground. One of them was a huge teddy bear about 3ft tall. I'd tied a note around Buddy-Bear's neck with a thin red ribbon. It said "We need a new home. Can you help us?"

(*bear* in mind, these were low-income apartments)

I got up at dawn the next morning, and sat at my front window with a cup of tea. At around 8am, 2 little girls found the basket and lost their little minds. They ran to an apartment and got a slightly older little girl. She came out and read the note, and ran back to her apartment to get her mother. All 3 little girls hopped up and down while the mother read the note. With a big smile on her face, the mom helped the girls peacefully decide who'd get Buddy-Bear, who'd get Lala Unicorn and so on, while 2 of the girls carried the basket inside.

There was a sad side to all that, of course, but it was fun to watch. And it felt good.
 
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