Wow what a change

SapphireBlues said:
I'm not sure I'm one to give advice, but I can definitely commiserate. (Im a newbie here, we can learn the ropes together)

I had been my late husband's caregiver for quite a while, ignoring my career, work contacts and pretty much life in general. I handled the passing of my brother and both parents by immersing myself deeper into my role as caregiver. He had no life threatening illnesses, so we expected our life to continue as it was into our "forever." Then a bout with pneumonia found stage 4 lung cancer and less than a month after discovery, he was gone.

Suddenly I realized I had no clue who I was. I had gone from being part of a large supportive family and then to my role as a care giving wife. Suddenly I was nobody's daughter, sister or wife. It was hard to adjust to being a widow and an orphan, and although my home was secure, I had no way to support myself. I seriously considered suicide.

But I hung in, because of my dog. I found an online writing job (there are hundreds of legitimate online job websites offering positions in most fields.) and began rebuilding my contact list. I lost my best friend to cancer a year later, which jolted me out of my new groove, but two years later I'm still here.

I totally "reinvented myself" and I think that is one advice I feel safe offering. If funds allow, get a haircut/color and a new outfit. Look at your bucket list and see what you might be doing towards those goals.

I have always wanted to go rockhounding out West. Unlikely to happen, BUT I found a local rock and gem group that does local hunts. I'm dating (ohhhh, what a dearth of interesting men are in my area!) and I joined a local gym.

Every day I find a bit more of myself. I know who I am now. You will too! Its scary as hell...but you can do it.
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I did something similar, took care of my father and spent 0 time on developing myself, it’s a shock, thank you for posting as I feel I’m not alone.
 
Hello @Cornfused My condolences on your loss of your parents. You haven't mentioned family, so I assume you are alone. @Warrigal 's good advice "to keep your eyes on where you want to be, rather than focussing on where you fear to be." sounds like a winner to me! Senior Forums is a great place to get back, "among" people, so I hope you hang around and keep us in the loop. Sounds like you were a great Son to your Mom & Dad, and that you will be a survivor! Good luck!
 

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welcome coffee
 
SapphireBlues said:
I'm not sure I'm one to give advice, but I can definitely commiserate. (Im a newbie here, we can learn the ropes together)

I had been my late husband's caregiver for quite a while, ignoring my career, work contacts and pretty much life in general. I handled the passing of my brother and both parents by immersing myself deeper into my role as caregiver. He had no life threatening illnesses, so we expected our life to continue as it was into our "forever." Then a bout with pneumonia found stage 4 lung cancer and less than a month after discovery, he was gone.

Suddenly I realized I had no clue who I was. I had gone from being part of a large supportive family and then to my role as a care giving wife. Suddenly I was nobody's daughter, sister or wife. It was hard to adjust to being a widow and an orphan, and although my home was secure, I had no way to support myself. I seriously considered suicide.

But I hung in, because of my dog. I found an online writing job (there are hundreds of legitimate online job websites offering positions in most fields.) and began rebuilding my contact list. I lost my best friend to cancer a year later, which jolted me out of my new groove, but two years later I'm still here.

I totally "reinvented myself" and I think that is one advice I feel safe offering. If funds allow, get a haircut/color and a new outfit. Look at your bucket list and see what you might be doing towards those goals.

I have always wanted to go rockhounding out West. Unlikely to happen, BUT I found a local rock and gem group that does local hunts. I'm dating (ohhhh, what a dearth of interesting men are in my area!) and I joined a local gym.

Every day I find a bit more of myself. I know who I am now. You will too! Its scary as hell...but you can do it.
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That was very commendable, what you did. I genuinely feel delighted reading this and knowing you persevered.
 
Cornfused said:
Thank you, currently in California, I play a bit of guitar, I enjoy researching things online, and I am interested in gardening but only had a tiny patch in the back of the house where I grow tomatoes.
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If you have not already you might try researching "Container Gardening". Great way to grow vegetables in limited spaces.
 

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