You either love me or you don't, you can't have it both ways!

Shero said:
Could be: cheatin is cheatin !!

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According to my mother a relative of ours felt she'd been cheated when her husband stayed out for one whole night, with another woman, "though no actual physical act took place between the husband and this other woman"! (was " cheating cheatin " in this case?).
My mother said the relative broke up the marriage because they believed the husband had betrayed her psychologically, (and at the same time there had been a protracted period of "coldness in the marital bed too"!).

Subject more complex than you might think perhaps(?).
 
Ladybj said:
Unconditional love does not come easy. It has to do with working on our internal self.
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I can see what you're saying, (and the "unconditional love", or " love" I felt for my own daughter didn't come automatically), but loving does come easily to humans doesn't it, in the sense we're made that way aren't we(?). :)
 
grahamg said:
I can see what you're saying, (and the "unconditional love", or " love" I felt for my own daughter didn't come automatically), but loving does come easily to humans doesn't it, in the sense we're made that way aren't we(?). :)
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I think love is taught from your parents first. However, if the mother does not know how to show the daughter love, then when the daughter becomes a mother, she will not be able to show her children love, and it becomes a generational cycle. If the child has witnessed love from the parents, however, then they will be able to love others. Also, there's a saying, "If you don't know how to love, let others who do show you." Just a thought. Hope I didn't complicate this further.
 
palides2021 said:
I think love is taught from your parents first. However, if the mother does not know how to show the daughter love, then when the daughter becomes a mother, she will not be able to show her children love, and it becomes a generational cycle. If the child has witnessed love from the parents, however, then they will be able to love others. There's a saying, "If you don't know how to love, let others who do show you." Just a thought.
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Good thoughts I'm sure, though there are perhaps some more complexities I won't go into, such as those parents, who like my own, can't tell their children (or each other in my hearing), they love you, but certainly did!
 
grahamg said:
I can see what you're saying, (and the "unconditional love", or " love" I felt for my own daughter didn't come automatically), but loving does come easily to humans doesn't it, in the sense we're made that way aren't we(?). :)
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To some people love does come easy, for some it doesn't because they feel they don't deserve it.
 
grahamg said:
Good thoughts I'm sure, though there are perhaps some more complexities I won't go into, such as those parents, who like my own, can't tell their children (or each other in my hearing), they love you, but certainly did!
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My father had a very difficult time saying the words "I love you" and just before he died he told me them. Even though he didn't say them while we were growing up, he showed his love. My mother too. Only when she became much older and we were all married did she start saying "I love you." To me, the words are important, but more important are the actions. If someone says "I love you" but doesn't show it, then it doesn't mean anything, does it?
 
palides2021 said:
My father had a very difficult time saying the words "I love you" and just before he died he told me them. Even though he didn't say them while we were growing up, he showed his love. My mother too. Only when she became much older and we were all married did she start saying "I love you." To me, the words are important, but more important are the actions. If someone says "I love you" but doesn't show it, then it doesn't mean anything, does it?
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My mom (may she RIP) and my hubby have a hard time saying I love you. But my mom showed me and my hubby shows me everyday. If I ask my hubby for the Moon, he would try to see how he can get it for me and I would do the same for him. However, I can say it and show it.. :love:
 
Ladybj said:
My mom (may she RIP) and my hubby have a hard time saying I love you. But my mom showed me and my hubby shows me everyday. If I ask my hubby for the Moon, he would try to see how he can get it for me and I would do the same for him. However, I can say it and show it.. :love:
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That's so wonderful to witness! You are probably a very lovable person!
 
palides2021 said:
My father had a very difficult time saying the words "I love you" and just before he died he told me them. Even though he didn't say them while we were growing up, he showed his love. My mother too. Only when she became much older and we were all married did she start saying "I love you." To me, the words are important, but more important are the actions. If someone says "I love you" but doesn't show it, then it doesn't mean anything, does it?
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"Especially if they show you the opposite is the truth"!
 
grahamg said:
Isn't "love" something you give, (or have a misunderstood you?)? :unsure:
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Love is something you give and receive. If I told you I love you, could you accept it? Would you be able to tell me you love me? I do not say it to get it back in return - however, if that is the case I would accept it. That's my perception of Love..others may feel differently.
 
Ladybj said:
Love is something you give and receive. If I told you I love you, could you accept it? Would you be able to tell me you love me? I do not say it to get it back in return - however, if that is the case I would accept it. That's my perception of Love..others may feel differently.
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My perception is that if someone told me they loved me, (a rare enough event believe me!), I'd still be cautious believing them in some cases, not least because love means differing things to different people, (for instance ourselves here! :)).
 

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