Anyone joined a dating site what are your experiences?

Chet said:
There should be some good replies. I'm interested myself.
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Well! ... nearly 70 in June ... and tried one! tried to be selective ... got loads of reples ... and met up with 2! ... but it felt like cattle market! ... so after 2 very brave but disastrous meetings with these 2 emotionally unavailable men ... who seemed a bit desperate ... I gracefully backed out ... and decided that this was definitely not for me! ...
 

hollydolly said:
I'm considering joining a Senior dating site for over 60's.. ..it's not that I want to find a long term relationship... I would just like to find a casual friend basically... Nowdays there's no going down the pub or to a dance hall and meeting a guy like we did in our youth.. and now o/h's been gone almost 2 years it's time for me to start thinking about having a bit of a life before I get too much older... but I have no experience of dating sites per se.. except for some of the horror stories you read about people meeting weirdos and potential axe murderers...

So.. has anyone joined a dating site.. what were your experiences.. and thoughts..
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Check out Meet Up. com, Holly. Not really a dating site, but folks with similar interests who get together and enjoy life. Sometimes a romance will blossom from it, but I have a couple of friends involved in this site and they just maintain good friendship and enjoying their mutual interests.
 
Lewkat said:
Check out Meet Up. com, Holly. Not really a dating site, but folks with similar interests who get together and enjoy life. Sometimes a romance will blossom from it, but I have a couple of friends involved in this site and they just maintain good friendship and enjoying their mutual interests.
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I will check that out Lois, thank you.. sounds more my cuppa tea...
 

hollydolly said:
I'm considering joining a Senior dating site for over 60's.. ..it's not that I want to find a long term relationship... I would just like to find a casual friend basically... Nowdays there's no going down the pub or to a dance hall and meeting a guy like we did in our youth.. and now o/h's been gone almost 2 years it's time for me to start thinking about having a bit of a life before I get too much older... but I have no experience of dating sites per se.. except for some of the horror stories you read about people meeting weirdos and potential axe murderers...

So.. has anyone joined a dating site.. what were your experiences.. and thoughts..
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I have. They are depressing, IMO. I also have a theory about Baby Boomer men and here it is: my theory is that so many of them were raised by stay-at-home moms they don't really want a partner who has a full life of her own. Or who still has ambitions and dreams. They want a mother or a nurse. That feels like connection and "love" to them because it reminds them of their mothers, cooking, cleaning and caring for the family.

In other words, "You love me, therefore you cook for me."

Wanna know one of my dreams for the future? I want to cook for myself only for the rest of my life! Yeah, I'll make a holiday dinner 3-4 times a year. I can do that, but darn it, day-to-day? No more! I'm fine with a big salad for dinner. If you want a 3-course supper, you make it.

All I can imagine is 80% of all Boomer men dumping me if I say that. Because the cooking feels like "love" to them. And yet, not requiring me to cook feels like love to me.

That is also an example of the difference between Boomer Women vs. Boomer Men, IMO - most all the women I know my age want FREEDOM! We are like the slaves of old, finally set FREE! The men? Some want freedom, but some really want to stay home and they expect someone to stay there with them.

I met a Boomer man recently who personified this thing I have seen. He and his wife were about my age, retired, doing great financially, and they were going on an expensive cruise that was going to last a long time, many weeks. Someone asked him how his wife felt about the trip and he literally shrugged and said something like, "It's my money."

He could not care less about how she felt about being trapped on this boat with him for weeks. It was all about him because he was paying for it and darn it, she is his wife!

IMO, many Boomer men have very traditional thoughts of women, just like their fathers did. This guy was a perfect example of that. An attitude about his wife, his property, straight out of the 1950s.

LOL, all I could think of listening to this guy was that if I were the woman in this situation, I'd be calling lawyers for a divorce.
 
Well I do all the cooking in our household - breakfast, lunch and dinner. 76 now and have been doing ALL the cooking for at least the last 8 years!!!!!! Before that, as the kids were growing up, I did my share of cooking as well. And yes, my wife is in good health!!
 
rwb said:
Well I do all the cooking in our household - breakfast, lunch and dinner. 76 now and have been doing ALL the cooking for at least the last 8 years!!!!!! Before that, as the kids were growing up, I did my share of cooking as well. And yes, my wife is in good health!!
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I think you should start a support group or advice column for guys aged 60+ and teach them how to cook. Seriously.
 
VintageBetter said:
I have. They are depressing, IMO. I also have a theory about Baby Boomer men and here it is: my theory is that so many of them were raised by stay-at-home moms they don't really want a partner who has a full life of her own. Or who still has ambitions and dreams. They want a mother or a nurse. That feels like connection and "love" to them because it reminds them of their mothers, cooking, cleaning and caring for the family.

In other words, "You love me, therefore you cook for me."

Wanna know one of my dreams for the future? I want to cook for myself only for the rest of my life! Yeah, I'll make a holiday dinner 3-4 times a year. I can do that, but darn it, day-to-day? No more! I'm fine with a big salad for dinner. If you want a 3-course supper, you make it.

All I can imagine is 80% of all Boomer men dumping me if I say that. Because the cooking feels like "love" to them. And yet, not requiring me to cook feels like love to me.

That is also an example of the difference between Boomer Women vs. Boomer Men, IMO - most all the women I know my age want FREEDOM! We are like the slaves of old, finally set FREE! The men? Some want freedom, but some really want to stay home and they expect someone to stay there with them.

I met a Boomer man recently who personified this thing I have seen. He and his wife were about my age, retired, doing great financially, and they were going on an expensive cruise that was going to last a long time, many weeks. Someone asked him how his wife felt about the trip and he literally shrugged and said something like, "It's my money."

He could not care less about how she felt about being trapped on this boat with him for weeks. It was all about him because he was paying for it and darn it, she is his wife!

IMO, many Boomer men have very traditional thoughts of women, just like their fathers did. This guy was a perfect example of that. An attitude about his wife, his property, straight out of the 1950s.

LOL, all I could think of listening to this guy was that if I were the woman in this situation, I'd be calling lawyers for a divorce.
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There is very little chance I'll be moving any man into my home again.. so there will be no cooking from me...:ROFLMAO:
 
I know this is not going to be popular. But, I only date out of the country now. Mexico, South America, Asia. Throw back to about 30-40 years ago. Women are very feminine , cook , very family oriented. Was married 23 years in the US . And keep a home here but never date here.
 
I know, I tried dating here in the US and I never liked it after living overseas for many years. Most women here are career oriented and very busy. I am 71 and keep a nice home here. But, only for relaxing after 6 months of travel. I spend 6 months a year minimum traveling. At this point I don't even try to date in the US.
 
garyknrd said:
I know this is not going to be popular. But, I only date out of the country now. Mexico, South America, Asia. Throw back to about 30-40 years ago. Women are very feminine , cook , very family oriented. Was married 23 years in the US . And keep a home here but never date here.
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you have to do what works for you, as long as it's legal of course... regardless of what others think
 
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jujube said:
When I started dating again, I tried out a few dating sites with very mixed results. My first meet with a prospective date turned out so badly, I thought about buying a dog for companionship and becoming a hermit.

Finally, I got my nerve back up and ventured back into the fray. I met The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

You just have to put your boots on and wade in, with a good sense of humor and a healthy dose of caution.
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I opted for a dog
 
garyknrd said:
I know, I tried dating here in the US and I never liked it after living overseas for many years. Most women here are career oriented and very busy. I am 71 and keep a nice home here. But, only for relaxing after 6 months of travel. I spend 6 months a year minimum traveling. At this point I don't even try to date in the US.
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Are you dating much younger women? Lots of women are retired at 71. They are no longer on a career path.
 
When we got married in 1969, we shared the duties at home since with both worked full time. My mom swore all her life that I would never be unable to cook and clean the house like my father. She was true to her word on that!

After about 10 years of marriage my wife was able to stay home with the kids and she started cooking most of our meals. I still pitched in and on weekends cooked most meals. After the kids all left home, we again share cooking duties. We always share the cleaning duties...we also go out a lot more than before...
 
birdy said:
Are you dating much younger women? Lots of women are retired at 71. They are no longer on a career path
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I only date mature ladies. Older , living alone without kids and usually retired. I am 71 and will not date younger women with kids or with allot of baggage. Nothing against younger women, just that at 71 I want to explore and be active. Kids and a lot of baggage putts the brakes on having fun. I have meet a few ladies here in Texas that still have their grown kids living with them. Or catering to their kids in excess. Same in Mexico and South America. I figure at 71 I will do what I want and enjoy what I like.

Just a side note here: I know allot of guys that like the kids and traditional family life. Even starting another family in the 60's and 70's. So, different strokes for sure. I personally want to explore and travel and enjoy my life my way. That does not include kids, or putting up with allot of negativity or drama.
 
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Tried it for the first time 4yrs ago, what a depressing experience. I cannot begin to describe the overall negativity of the people i interacted online with. So many appeared to be just going through the motions with a list of past dates stretching into the hundreds over the course of several years.

Am not ashamed to admit i had no dates at all over the course of the six months that i was on this site. Now older and wiser i won't be going down this route again. If it happens for me it will be in the real world and not the virtual world.
 
New Banksy said:
Tried it for the first time 4yrs ago, what a depressing experience. I cannot begin to describe the overall negativity of the people i interacted online with. So many appeared to be just going through the motions with a list of past dates stretching into the hundreds over the course of several years.

Am not ashamed to admit i had no dates at all over the course of the six months that i was on this site. Now older and wiser i won't be going down this route again. If it happens for me it will be in the real world and not the virtual world.
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This seems to be the overwhelming consensus from not only people here.. but in real life too... One woman my age called it the most soul destroying experience ever.....another said that when they say you have to kiss a lot of frogs .. what they didn't tell you is that on dating sites, you don't find the prince after the frogs you just move onto wart filled Toads...
 
Well I tried.. failed in the process! My profile : Looking for a man that wanted to travel, have his own money, have a good sense of humor, no drama, no baggage, just relax and have some fun. Not looking for marriage or anyone that has children. What replied was men wanting a sugar mama, need someone to help raise their children. Someone to help care for them as they have a few medical problems. Someone interested in "Dedicating their life to them", travel when needed. I said WHAT??? Did you read my profile at all? One man wanted to see if he could change my mind about what I wanted! What? Not for me!. I deleted profile, have given up on dating. Dating = Drama...not for me!
 
It shouldn't be difficult to find a man that wants to travel. They all want that. There are lots of men whose kids are grown and out of the house as well.
 
VintageBetter said:
I have. They are depressing, IMO. I also have a theory about Baby Boomer men and here it is: my theory is that so many of them were raised by stay-at-home moms they don't really want a partner who has a full life of her own. Or who still has ambitions and dreams. They want a mother or a nurse. That feels like connection and "love" to them because it reminds them of their mothers, cooking, cleaning and caring for the family.

In other words, "You love me, therefore you cook for me."

Wanna know one of my dreams for the future? I want to cook for myself only for the rest of my life! Yeah, I'll make a holiday dinner 3-4 times a year. I can do that, but darn it, day-to-day? No more! I'm fine with a big salad for dinner. If you want a 3-course supper, you make it.

All I can imagine is 80% of all Boomer men dumping me if I say that. Because the cooking feels like "love" to them. And yet, not requiring me to cook feels like love to me.

That is also an example of the difference between Boomer Women vs. Boomer Men, IMO - most all the women I know my age want FREEDOM! We are like the slaves of old, finally set FREE! The men? Some want freedom, but some really want to stay home and they expect someone to stay there with them.

I met a Boomer man recently who personified this thing I have seen. He and his wife were about my age, retired, doing great financially, and they were going on an expensive cruise that was going to last a long time, many weeks. Someone asked him how his wife felt about the trip and he literally shrugged and said something like, "It's my money."

He could not care less about how she felt about being trapped on this boat with him for weeks. It was all about him because he was paying for it and darn it, she is his wife!

IMO, many Boomer men have very traditional thoughts of women, just like their fathers did. This guy was a perfect example of that. An attitude about his wife, his property, straight out of the 1950s.

LOL, all I could think of listening to this guy was that if I were the woman in this situation, I'd be calling lawyers for a divorce.
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Why I don't date women in the US especially. My GF in Mexico works and won't let me cook , she loves it and most women there love the traditional and more feminine role. Really in my years of travel overall only in the US do women think like this. Guys if from the US , Canada etc. don't think this is the norm. Actually this is not the normal way most women think in other countries.
 
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@garyknrd No offense meant to our neighbors, but thanks to the teachings of the Catholic Church (a majority of Latinos are Catholic), I have to agree. Many older Latinas were raised as traditional wives and mothers. They did not aspire to "careers". They may work at jobs, but they are not usually trying to climb some ladder that feels threatening to American men.

This is VASTLY different with younger Latinas. Vastly! They saw their mothers' lives, appreciate the work they have done for the family, but also see that they sacrficed a lot of hopes and dreams to take care of others. (My life has been quite similar, BTW, even though I am White. But I sacrificed a lot of my hopes, dreams and goals to care for my ex-husband, my kids and my extended family.)

But you point out my prejudice (I'll admit it) against Boomer men exactly. They came of age in the 70s and 80s when the Women's Movement exploded on the scene, and many feel threatened by women seeking careers, or "Men's Work" jobs, or just by women who thinking cooking dinner every night GETS OLD and is not fun.

Are you advising we all need to get back into the kitchen if we want a man? Is it OK if we say, "No thanks. I expect him to do Women's Work too"?

If I'm doing yard work, painting the house, laying flooring and doing the taxes, is it so much to demand that he cook and clean? Believe me, I know, to some men it really is - it's too much to ask!

I was also thinking I would expect my next spouse to come to my mammograms with me. Come on in! See what that machine does! Can you take it, man? Can you take merely watching it as I am going through it?

In exchange, I would go with him to all his doctor appointments, if he wanted me there. Fair is fair.
 
garyknrd said:
Why I don't date women in the US especially. My GF in Mexico works and won't let me cook , she loves it and most women there love the traditional and more feminine role. Really in my years of travel overall only in the US do women think like this. Guys if from the US , Canada etc. don't think this is the norm. Actually this is not the normal way most women think in other countries.
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You want a servant and not an equal partner. I am sick of taking care of lazy men. I would never live with anyone again because of this. My life is easy now just taking care of myself and my dogs. No one is making messes for me to clean up and I can always find everything because it’s in its place. I cook only when I want to.
 


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