A man...was it me or him?

Natty, it sounds like you have a very low opinion of yourself. So, if someone is interested in you, there must be something wrong with him. That could be, but it also could be two wounded ducks getting to know one another. If you don't like his advances, tell him to knock it off, and fly right. If he doesn't, drop him.
 

My thoughts... If I had "a crush" on someone for years, I probably wouldn't pull the "just friendship" card when he finally paid attention to me. Second, he "said" he is single and lives alone would be a red flag for me because... well, just because. And third, if a dude I told I didn't want a relationship with beyond friendship says he wants a picture, 'twould totally creep me out.

That said, (don't throw things if ya'll don't agree!) I can't help but feeling like part of a college or social experiment right now. This isn't the first time I've seen this happen here.
 
CallMeKate said:
My thoughts... If I had "a crush" on someone for years, I probably wouldn't pull the "just friendship" card when he finally paid attention to me. Second, he "said" he is single and lives alone would be a red flag for me because... well, just because. And third, if a dude I told I didn't want a relationship with beyond friendship says he wants a picture, 'twould totally creep me out.

That said, (don't throw things if ya'll don't agree!) I can't help but feeling like part of a college or social experiment right now. This isn't the first time I've seen this happen here.
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Being single and living alone is a 'red flag'? Yikes! I would think that would be a good thing. I could think of a million other things that would raise a red flag.
He is single and living with his ex
He is single and rents out bedrooms to college kids
He is single and lives with his mom
 
Sippican said:
Being single and living alone is a 'red flag'? Yikes! I would think that would be a good thing.
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:oops: No, of course not. Men often SAY that when they're wanting something on the side. The poster said the dude "SAID" he was single and living alone. The way she said it, I suspect she questioned it as well. It was also stated that he said he "has no one." Also a flag to vulnerable women. Maybe men don't have the same kind of intuition.
 
I left him alone. Too many red flags.

Him not respecting me and my boundaries. The fact that he wouldn't take "no" for an answer about being in a relationship with him and kept pressuring me...after thinking about it further put fear in me. It's like ..What else wouldn't he respect and take "no" for an answer?

The fact that he was asking a stranger to be in a relationship after speaking formally to them once..let's me know that his loneliness is clouding his judgment, and he doesn't think highly of himself...because he's willing to settle for anybody out of desperation.


I want someone that is genuinely interested in me, and takes the time to get to know and feel me out...not someone deciding that "I'll do".


I want someone respectful and is in a good place mentally and emotionally. I don't want someone who is abusive. I want someone who is a good communicator, not someone becoming angry because I say no and ghosting me.



I don't want someone leading me on. He lead me on and made me think he was fine with just establishing a friendship.

He shouldn't have taken my number after I told him that I wasn't looking to be in a relationship. He knew that wasn't what he wanted to begin with.



I have no problem with someone approaching me (or me approaching someone) letting me know that they're lonely and feel like I potentially be a nice person to form a bond and a healthy companionship with...and seeing if we're compatible for that...

I thought about things throughly afterwards and his behavior was unacceptable and really creepy.


I'm glad he is out of my life now. I truly started becoming fearful.
 
natty1433 said:
The next time I ran into him outside, we were on opposite sides of the street, and he was cat calling me, blowing kisses, pointing to his *******ia saying that he knew I wanted "it"...
Yelling at me to come give him a hug and kiss..repeatedly..
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Yikes! That sounds like something a "20 something" or maybe even millennial would do. This dude is a senior citizen?
 
natty1433 said:
I left him alone. Too many red flags.

Him not respecting me and my boundaries. The fact that he wouldn't take "no" for an answer about being in a relationship with him and kept pressuring me...after thinking about it further put fear in me. It's like ..What else wouldn't he respect and take "no" for an answer?

The fact that he was asking a stranger to be in a relationship after speaking formally to them once..let's me know that his loneliness is clouding his judgment, and he doesn't think highly of himself...because he's willing to settle for anybody out of desperation.


I want someone that is genuinely interested in me, and takes the time to get to know and feel me out...not someone deciding that "I'll do".


I want someone respectful and is in a good place mentally and emotionally. I don't want someone who is abusive. I want someone who is a good communicator, not someone becoming angry because I say no and ghosting me.



I don't want someone leading me on. He lead me on and made me think he was fine with just establishing a friendship.

He shouldn't have taken my number after I told him that I wasn't looking to be in a relationship. He knew that wasn't what he wanted to begin with.



I have no problem with someone approaching me (or me approaching someone) letting me know that they're lonely and feel like I potentially be a nice person to form a bond and a healthy companionship with...and seeing if we're compatible for that...

I thought about things throughly afterwards and his behavior was unacceptable and really creepy.


I'm glad he is out of my life now. I truly started becoming fearful.
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Don’t let anyone pressure you. Even though you saw all these red flags, you gave him your number anyway? Did you feel pressured to?

Good relationships are built from mutual fondness which includes respect. If respect is missing, there is no mutual friendship.

You were smart to back off. He wasn’t for you.
Thank goodness.
 
My guess is he wants a romantic relationship with you. Since you have given him several firm NO’s he has given up since being with you would be too painful. Let sleeping dogs lie.
 
natty1433 said:
The next time I ran into him outside, we were on opposite sides of the street, and he was cat calling me, blowing kisses, pointing to his *******ia saying that he knew I wanted "it"...

Yelling at me to come give him a hug and kiss..repeatedly..
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There's something mentally wrong with this guy! Glad you're staying away from him but be extra cautious. Just curious...have you looked him up on the sex offenders website? I'd be fearful of this guy, too. Be careful.
 
natty1433 said:
The next time I ran into him outside, we were on opposite sides of the street, and he was cat calling me, blowing kisses, pointing to his *******ia saying that he knew I wanted "it"...

Yelling at me to come give him a hug and kiss..repeatedly..
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You dodged a bullet with this one. Hopefully he will leave you alone and you won't see him on the street often. Seems like a real sicko.
 


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