I was so happy living alone. I got it right at last. ...They want me to live permanently with them and gave me a bedroom and an office for my writing.
Does anyone have any suggestions that will guide me? Family is at work and grandkids at college during the day so I am alone until evening. It's a new city to me and I get lost just shopping.
That is a tremendous amount of change.
I suppose it is very boring being alone all day in a new place.
One suggestion would be to sign up for some sort of weekly talk session, preferably in person but I guess zoom would work.
When I had foster kids I had to attend some of their therapy sessions and I was so impressed with the usefulness of just going to chat each week about how things were going. Before that I thought therapy was about psychological problems and freudian weirdness, but it was like friendly sympathetic life-coaching. Such as, what changes would make you feel better, what would be a specific step toward one specific goal that you could do this week, then going back the next week and discussing how that worked out.
Another suggestion I'd have would be to re-think the living arrangement. It isn't a good time (mortgage rates) to buy a new home, but if it were (if finances aren't a problem), what about finding a home with a mother-in-law setup and then your daughter, grandkids, and you all moving to it and you paying a half of the mortgage (or whatever percent would be appropriate to the size of the mother-in-law space, maybe a third of the mortgage).
My parents proposed a shared mortgage to me when I was middle aged and not married and renting, and it worked out really great for us, I had the mother-in-law apartment so I was totally independent with my own front door. And after my father died my mom and I bought a different house in a different state the same way with a shared mortgage, and the mortgage was set up so that if I died the house would be totally in her name and vice versa. Of course you have to be confident in the relationship to do that.
Or, if a new house isn't an option, maybe the current home could have an addition added (paid for by you, with proper plans and permits and construction etc) that would let you have a full living space (bathroom, kitchen etc). Your daughter might find that a benefit if it is done in a well-designed way that adds value to her home. I'm assuming she owns the house.
Are there any senior centers near you? Those can be a good way to make friends at activities, assuming you still drive and/or there is a bus you can take to get there.
If you really want to be totally on your own, I moved to a condo in a 55+ gated community and I love it. In addition to non-residents having to stop at the security gate and only being allowed in if their name has been approved by the person they are coming to visit, entry to the high-rises have locked lobby doors that you have to have a code (or key) to enter (I.e., lots of security here). People in their 80s move in here, I'm on the younger end at 67 yrs, but there are lots of very old people (up to 100 yrs at least) in the building.
