How to find an executor for estate?

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NewlySenior

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Midwest US
Granted I'm relatively young to be thinking about executing my will, but life has no guarantees. I have family, but we're estranged, the culmination of decades of strife. I'm not married, no kids, no close friends, no one. I'm alone. How do I find someone to be in charge of my "estate" to ensure my last wishes are followed and that the selfish vultures of my family don't stick their greasy fingers in what little I have left?
 

The State where you live MAY have an office of " The Public Guardian " which can be appointed by you, to make sure your decisions included in your last will, will be followed. I suggest that you do some looking around the website of the State Government where you now live. As for the position of executor, hire a recently graduated young lawyer, who is just getting started in their law practice, to be your executor. Once you have given the new lawyer a small cash retainer, he/she is now your legal representative in all matters.

I have such a relationship, but it goes back to more than 30 years ago. Being able to call up and ask a legal question on the phone, has been a wonderful resource over the years for me. Don't be afraid to act, to protect your self against the vultures ! Jimb In Toronto.
 
You can hire a professional executer. Google it to find someone local or ask the attorney who draws up your estate plan for a reference.

The one thing I wonder is after you pass how is the executor notified? Typically a family member gets things rolling but if you have no family and hire a professional how are they notified? I guess you spend the last part of your life with a big note on the refrigerator, "Upon my death contact So & So Estate Services".
 

In a will you can specifically and knowingly exclude people. I have named relatives in my will as executors, but I'm wondering if there is a state office where you can file your will ahead of time.
 
You can mention whatever Executor you choose in your Advanced Directive, a copy of which the doctors ask me for every time I visit. Even if there is not a section for it, you can add pages to any ADR. I gave a copy of mine to my kids. Why does the hospital want one also? In case the family forges documents, I guess, right?

But that is one way to do it - give a copy of your ADR to your PCP and the hospitals you usually go to. If you die at home, have your Executor's contact info plainly laid out on a table or on the frig. Better to have it in at least three obvious places at eye level at home. In your hospital chart, IF anyone is paying attention to that, it should be in a special section for the ADR.

Another thing you need to think of is whether or not you want or need a Medical Power of Attorney. What's that for? Well, I've had people in my family at BAD hospitals as they were very sick and I could not get them moved to a better hospital because I did not have a Medical POA for them. With one relative I told him he should have one, we should ALL have one, but he didn't listen to me.

You can be so very sick that you cannot speak. Who will speak for you then? That's what I need to get next - a Medical POA so if paramedics take me to a Hospital From Hell, my kid can walk in with that POA and say, "Move her or I will sue you STAT." I should pay a lawyer to prepare that so my kids can call the lawyer if Beelzebub's Hospital, Inc. wants to argue with my kids, who would be upset.

We have a few of those in my area - Beelzebub's Hospitals, Inc. But, that is inevitable with Medical Care, Inc.
 
NewlySenior said:
Granted I'm relatively young to be thinking about executing my will, but life has no guarantees. I have family, but we're estranged, the culmination of decades of strife. I'm not married, no kids, no close friends, no one. I'm alone. How do I find someone to be in charge of my "estate" to ensure my last wishes are followed and that the selfish vultures of my family don't stick their greasy fingers in what little I have left?
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NewlySenior said:
Granted I'm relatively young to be thinking about executing my will, but life has no guarantees. I have family, but we're estranged, the culmination of decades of strife. I'm not married, no kids, no close friends, no one. I'm alone. How do I find someone to be in charge of my "estate" to ensure my last wishes are followed and that the selfish vultures of my family don't stick their greasy fingers in what little I have left?
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Similar situation, I'm alone and estranged from my family. I have an advanced medical directive and living will. When I pass, my remains go to a body farm after my organs are harvested, my assets go to help homeless veterans and no family notification. I had the VA help me. Contact a lawyer.
This comes from watching family members in the past who don't honor loved ones wishes and get selfish and greedy.
 
I'm in the same situation and I've agonized for months who should I appoint to carry out my wishes. I finally went to an estate attorney in my town and he said there is a Foundation here that does that. They will distribute money to the charities I've designated. I feel so much better. Have you talked to an estate attorney yet? Maybe there's something like that in your area/town.
 
I have a problem here in the US. I own a nice home and keep it for security reasons. I travel most of the year. But, I have no one to leave it to, and my investments which I am trying to spend down are a problem also. My only option is hiring a lawyer and leaving everything to the city where I live. I will give it away . Never dreamed I would have such a problem.
When my dad died the greed and petty arguing were insane. I will not have that, mine is not going to anyone other to people I don't know and to charity. Oddly the people with the biggest homes and cars were the worst of the lot. I found out later that they were leveraged to the eyeballs. Horrible.
 
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garyknrd said:
I have a problem here in the US. I own a nice home and keep it for security reasons. I travel most of the year. But, I have no one to leave it to, and my investments which I am trying to spend down are a problem also. My only option is hiring a lawyer and leaving everything to the city where I live. I will give it away . Never dreamed I would have such a problem.
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I agree and have the same dilemma, i.e. no one to leave it to.
However since you're in a relationship, why not leave it to her, and her family if she has one?
One thing is that if I find a few people to leave it to, I'll prepare the paperwork but not tell them anything.
 
Rakaia said:
Some advice that I've heard is to include a token inheritance to estranged family to prevent them from claiming that they were 'forgotten'.
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I don't think most people are dumb enough to fall for that.

That is some serious level of hatred when people use their money to punish "loved ones" after death. Even prisons can't punish people after death.

But this is why so many people are in therapy - they come to realize their family might have been worse than prison guards.
 
John cycling said:
John cycling said:
However since you're in a relationship, why not leave it to her, and her family if she has one?
One thing is that if I find a few people to leave it to, I'll prepare the paperwork but not tell them anything.
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Funny you should mention that John. I have one acquaintance that I did do the paperwork on, and will leave her 100K. Only person I have decided to give money to. And same as you they know nothing about it. :). I hope it brings them a little happiness and puts a smile on their face. As for my home and the rest of the investments I am not sure what to do. I do have a lovely relationship with a woman in Mexico as you know. Her home and assets are worth at least double or triple of mine. Not sure what she would do with it. I need to ask her and see what she thinks.
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I would never leave anything to simply fall into the hands of state or local municipalities. Even for those estranged from family or alone in the world I believe they should choose to direct how their estate is distributed.

Sure it can be a charity but what about a more personal level? How about a needy family? Pay off someone's house, buy someone a car. Talk to the local school, set up a scholarship for kids meeting your criteria, could be college or vocational education. Build a playground or an athletic field, or buy laptops.

You can spend down your money now or direct the assets of your estate. Gifts like that can change a person's life.
 
I have a will. I'm leaving my $billions to him. But he lives in another state. And my brother is not exactly worldly in money matters. He inherited my mom's home, but for years it was vacant. He was paying taxes, upkeep, etc. If it wasn't for a buyer, who tracked him down, he'd still be paying for an empty house. When I croak, I'm not sure he would be back to paying for another empty house.
I guess that estate planner gets a new client.
 


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