Just senior humor

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The early "middle age stoner" is killed in an auto accident but goes to Hell. Satan sentences him to 1000 years in the Pot Fields Room.
The 1000 years pass quicky for the very busy Satan. Eventually he opens the sealed rooms door. He sees the stoner meditating in the center of the Green, in a pool of tears. The fields of hemp had been untouched for the full thousand years. Satan is understandably quite confused! The stoner opens his eyes in disbelief and runs over to Satan, & shaking him by the shoulders, Thomas "the Stoner" says: "Man, do you have a lighter?"
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The Father calls his son and say's, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son answers. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says, can you call your sister tell her." Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "they're doing no such thing", she shouts. I'll take care of this!

She calls home immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?"and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "I told you, it's done! They are coming home for Christmas, it's been so long, many years of being too busy raising their own families to come visit us."
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