Solitude preferred

R

Rose65

Senior Member
Location
United Kingdom
I used to nurture lots of friends. As I get older, health no longer good, I crave peace and time for me. I have dropped most acquintances and interests. I have just a small number of quiet like-minded old friends to meet up with occasionally, apart from immediate family.

I really do want a quiet life with routine and predictability and I enjoy my own company. Does anyone feel similar?
 

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Yes, I like solitude and I like me. Have to because I don't have
any friends or even relatives within a few thousand miles.
But I'm healthy, full of energy and full of interests!
I do like a simple, quiet life but am open to unpredictability.
I think everyone should have a passion, or some purpose
they are growing toward. Don't you have to introduce new,
novel aspects into your life all the time? Try new things?
Take risks? Invent? Create? I look at things as if I just landed
on this earth for the first time this morning. What would I do?
 
Gaer said:
Yes, I like solitude and I like me. Have to because I don't have
any friends or even relatives within a few thousand miles.
But I'm healthy, full of energy and full of interests!
I do like a simple, quiet life but am open to unpredictability.
I think everyone should have a passion, or some purpose
they are growing toward. Don't you have to introduce new,
novel aspects into your life all the time? Try new things?
Take risks? Invent? Create? I look at things as if I just landed
on this earth for the first time this morning. What would I do?
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I agree, renewing yourself is essential. I may be acting brutally but I have got rid of people who were draining me of vital, now surely limited time and energy. I am a huge reader. I want time to explore many subjects that interest me.

All my life I felt obliged to do things for others, often feeling drowned in all that. Now I want it to be about me, to take stock, look at what I need. What is my eternity to be? I am religious, spiritual, I want time to think. I cannot stand the inane shallow babblings of so many people who I no longer feel have anything in common with me.

If we are not careful, we will waste time and find one day it is too late. As we get old, we should think about death, no longer can the subject be avoided. It doesn't mean being negative, in fact it can be about doing what YOU need at least.
 

Rose65 said:
I agree, renewing yourself is essential. I may be acting brutally but I have got rid of people who were draining me of vital, now surely limited time and energy. I am a huge reader. I want time to explore many subjects that interest me.

All my life I felt obliged to do things for others, often feeling drowned in all that. Now I want it to be about me, to take stock, look at what I need. What is my eternity to be? I am religious, spiritual, I want time to think. I cannot stand the inane shallow babblings of so many people who I no longer feel have anything in common with me.

If we are not careful, we will waste time and find one day it is too late. As we get old, we should think about death, no longer can the subject be avoided. It doesn't mean being negative, in fact it can be about doing what YOU need at least.
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LOVE your post!
about death:
The rest of my life lies before me and I must run to meet it!
I love life but I'm going to love the real life after this even more!
 
Absolutly! After a difficult childhood and a twenty year marriage full of hysteria and drama all I want is peace. I have become very very protective of my life that I know I have sacrificed some relationships but I don't care, my routines and peace are too precious to take any chances with.
 
Gaer said:
LOVE your post!
about death:
The rest of my life lies before me and I must run to meet it!
I love life but I'm going to love the real life after this even more!
Click to expand...
By preparing, accepting that that is the next adventure. This is different for each of us but merits time and attention, to make peace with yourself and your life.
For me, I am a Christian and I cannot wait to meet God. So my prayer life is more intense now.
 
C50 said:
Absolutly! After a difficult childhood and a twenty year marriage full of hysteria and drama all I want is peace. I have become very very protective of my life that I know I have sacrificed some relationships but I don't care, my routines and peace are too precious to take any chances with.
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Absolutely! Why not make it about yourself now? I am. This is my life and I refuse to give up my peace for anyone.
I have stepped away from every toxic person, just become unavailable.
 
I am an extrovert and love people. I have many friends that I see regularly and my kids. I still see clients occasionally and enjoy doing some work. I also help friends that need it.

I don’t mind being alone and have plenty of alone time with just my dogs. We walk daily and frequently talk to other dog walkers. If someone causes drama or problems I drop them.,
 
Introvert here!! I like having friends although they are "tiring" - always need "down time" after our lunch or coffee meet-ups.

I live with my perfect companion - Flash, the dog!! I never feel lonely - we get our 2 to 3 miles walks daily, meals are my choice - healthy fresh foods, no junk, sugar, fats, high sodium and unknown ingredients - ie cook from scratch. Surprisingly it is much less expensive than eating out.
 
BC Flash said:
Introvert here!! I like having friends although they are "tiring" - always need "down time" after our lunch or coffee meet-ups.

I live with my perfect companion - Flash, the dog!! I never feel lonely - we get our 2 to 3 miles walks daily, meals are my choice - healthy fresh foods, no junk, sugar, fats, high sodium and unknown ingredients - ie cook from scratch. Surprisingly it is much less expensive than eating out.
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I like your way - the way of peace. Dogs are perfect, mine is too. She fits in with wherever the day takes us.
 
Rose65 said:
All my life I felt obliged to do things for others, often feeling drowned in all that. Now I want it to be about me, to take stock, look at what I need. What is my eternity to be?
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I walked away from a lot of family when I retired and moved. I was taking care of an elderly father who had always been abusive. He had become even more abusive towards me and had dementia. I asked my family for help in getting him into assisted living and did not receive any help. I was met with comments like "we don't think he needs to be in assisted living". Of course they didn't, they were not having to help with anything.

I shocked everyone by walking away forcing someone to step up. Fortunately I had a nephew who did that. He has since apologised and said he did not understand the situation at the time.

After a lifetime of being the only one to support my children, then the only one to care for my father, I had enough. It is sad that it took such an extreme action to receive what I should have had all along, some support.

I am not expecting any help from my family as I age. I will deal with whatever I have to.
 
Alligatorob said:
Not really, not most of the time. However I am happy for you, you sound comfortable with your life, that's all that matters.
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That's true, whatever is comfortable with your life is really all that matters. My wife and I are the opposite, we are party animals, with a large circle of friends. Our love of dancing, of the 30's & 40's era, our classic car and the many festivals that we go to have brought us into contact with so many others. We befriend easily but always cautiously, enjoying a busy social life doesn't mean throwing caution to the wind.
 
DebraMae said:
I walked away from a lot of family when I retired and moved. I was taking care of an elderly father who had always been abusive. He had become even more abusive towards me and had dementia. I asked my family for help in getting him into assisted living and did not receive any help. I was met with comments like "we don't think he needs to be in assisted living". Of course they didn't, they were not having to help with anything
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PeppermintPatty said:
I had the same problem with my parents but it’s best if I don’t share all that. It’s definitely TMI. 🙃
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Same here and I have heard about this so many times, over and over and over. It seems to me it's the very rare case where more than one family member will do caretaking; seems like if most people can get out of doing something they don't want to do, they will.
 
Peace is good. I do not tolerate haters or drama queens. Life is better without them. :)

When I see people these days they are people I really want to see. Due to one thing or another the one or two really annoying ones seem to have taken themselves out of the picture. I hope I don't jinx this good situation by saying that. :ROFLMAO:
 
Rose65 said:
I used to nurture lots of friends. As I get older, health no longer good, I crave peace and time for me. I have dropped most acquintances and interests. I have just a small number of quiet like-minded old friends to meet up with occasionally, apart from immediate family.

I really do want a quiet life with routine and predictability and I enjoy my own company. Does anyone feel similar?
Click to expand...
I absolutly cannot stand yapping small talk with no meaning no message just yap yap yap.....at me near me around me I quit the gym because of all the stupid noise pollution kids soccer games etc stupid shit......
 
After utilizing the on/off button on my hearing aids, my solitude has experienced a rebirth. Crowd confusion, yapping dogs & noisy chaos has it's place, not here, I do a lot more smiling & nodding my head now days.
 

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