Women who constantly seek to be desirable to men

Rose65 said:
I don't respect such women. We all know them, the ones who set store by their figures and beauty status alone, even in old age. Trying to defy time.

What is that? It's encouraged by TV and media, as if life is primarily about sexuality and desirability. Oh I was intent enough in youth of worrying about men finding me attractive and I basked in it when they did. Now I am old and I think I grew up. I really don't care and I see the absurdity of it.

So how important is attractiveness to the opposite sex in mature years? Surely it is programmed in us as a necessary spur to reproduction rather than a perpetual preoccupation.
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Reading your post @Rose65, I have so many questions! :)

Why would you have such strong opinions against older women who take a pride in their appearance?
Why assume that these women do so to attract men?
Why judge other women simply on the basis that it is not something you personally care about?

Maybe I have misunderstood but, reading your comments, I just thought how sad it is that women are judged throughout their lives, even in their senior years. :(
 

CallMeKate said:
'Tis okay... it's easy to be misunderstood in a forum, I guess. I was just attacked in another thread for something that I didn't even understand why it happened. I suppose the guy didn't understand what I'd meant, but it's still a jolt when it happens. Soooo.... carry on, Sir @dilettante :giggle: (y)
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Aww. Well thank you.

But I should have known better than to open my trap on this topic. Not only was my post too hastily composed and poorly organized, this is far outside any area of competence for me.
 
I find this post very judgmental. If some women choose to stay attractive, why judge them? Everyone sets their own standards and live by them. Personally, I think people should try and stay attractive – it’s good for self-esteem. What was once attractive in looks maybe now becomes attractive in other ways – their independence, they still drive, cook etc.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
Being attractive to the opposite sex is the last thing I want. If I could be invisible to people in general, I’d love it. My self esteem now comes from myself and the connection I have with my inner self, not from other people
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At 81 I am pretty much invisible to people in general. This suits me fine when I go shopping at the mall. I am able to sit quietly and observe the passing parade.

To people who count, I am not invisible. At Hubby's nursing home the staff and a lot of the residents know me by name and greet me cheerily.

I dress to please my husband, wearing colours that he likes but clothes that I like.

I was liberated a very long time ago after reading Greer's book The Female Eunuch. That removed from my head all of the conditioning I had absorbed growing up.
 
Warrigal said:
At 81 I am pretty much invisible to people in general. This suits me fine when I go shopping at the mall. I am able to sit quietly and observe the passing parade.

To people who count, I am not invisible. At Hubby's nursing home the staff and a lot of the residents know me by name and greet me cheerily.

I dress to please my husband, wearing colours that he likes but clothes that I like.

I was liberated a very long time ago after reading Greer's book The Female Eunuch. That removed from my head all of the conditioning I had absorbed growing up.
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It's interesting what you said about being invisible to people in general but not to people who count. That is quite insightful. I have the same situation. I don't have the eye contact I used to have when I was younger and in public. I also am pretty much ignored when shopping at the mall. But a lot of people I know treat me with respect and friendliness.
 
Rose65 said:
I don't respect such women. We all know them, the ones who set store by their figures and beauty status alone, even in old age. Trying to defy time.

What is that? It's encouraged by TV and media, as if life is primarily about sexuality and desirability. Oh I was intent enough in youth of worrying about men finding me attractive and I basked in it when they did. Now I am old and I think I grew up. I really don't care and I see the absurdity of it.

So how important is attractiveness to the opposite sex in mature years? Surely it is programmed in us as a necessary spur to reproduction rather than a perpetual preoccupation.
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This is an interesting topic. When I was young, it was important to have a good figure and be attractive because it was another world then, and due to our biological clock, finding a mate was important in order to have a family by a designated time. I grew up in a family of five girls. We all dressed nicely and looked attractive. But now, mostly in our 60s, we are comfortable with our families and that urge to dress up and be attractive to the opposite sex is no longer as important.

When I see women my age or older taking the time to dress up and be attractive, I admire them. I say to myself, "That is so nice that she is doing this!" because it reminds me of what I can do for myself. That, yes, we can still look attractive, even at this age.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
Do you think your jealousy is getting the best of you? A while back you had a post saying you had a friend who is really attractive and gets all the attention when you all go out together. She kept calling you and you wouldn’t answer. She didn’t know she was getting dropped as your friend.
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I'm not jealous of anyone and I have not regretted getting rid of that friend. We had grown entirely apart and had nothing left in common.
 
Warrigal said:
At 81 I am pretty much invisible to people in general. This suits me fine when I go shopping at the mall. I am able to sit quietly and observe the passing parade.

To people who count, I am not invisible. At Hubby's nursing home the staff and a lot of the residents know me by name and greet me cheerily.

I dress to please my husband, wearing colours that he likes but clothes that I like.

I was liberated a very long time ago after reading Greer's book The Female Eunuch. That removed from my head all of the conditioning I had absorbed growing up.
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I think a lot of my attitude is due to depression. I’ve been depressed for quite a while now. Just the idea of getting dressed up doesn’t appeal to me any more. I spend much of my time in lounge wear. It’s clean and comfortable which is great because that’s all that matters to me. My husband still complements me . What others think, I honestly don’t care. In fact, I’d rather NOT get that type of attention.

Depression does that. It’s not a complaint. I’m just being honest with how I feel. I still shower and put a bit of blush on but that’s about it. I’m ok with that and so is my man. They are the only people that matter in my world right now.
 
Rose65 said:
I'm not jealous of anyone and I have not regretted getting rid of that friend. We had grown entirely apart and had nothing left in common.
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Ok. How do you know these women are getting a free hotel room? The only way you’d know this is if you eavesdropped on a conversation or followed them to their rooms.
What others do is actually none of my business and I try to keep it that way.
 
I don't think it's about "catching a man" every time a woman does her make-up or hair or keeps in shape.

Every hairdresser I have ever had colors or changes her hair style every 6 weeks because they think IT'S FUN. My current hairdresser always has a new shade every time I see her. I kind of look forward to seeing what creativity she has done now when I see her. Women do themselves up for FUN sometimes - just for themselves.

Personally, I walk out the door with light make-up and my hair done in its standard configuration because it helps me feel better about my life and the day ahead. And like it or not WE ARE A SHALLOW, BIASED SOCIETY.

People who are clean and look better, get treated better by others. Same with FAT. One of the guests on Oprah's weight loss special said after she lost over 100 lbs., not only was she treated better by others but total strangers were even nicer to her children!

What the heck is that fat bias about?

I see women getting ready for REAL LIFE out there is just women being aware that we are being judged every darn day in one way or another, often by how we look and dress. That's just real life.
 
astralcat said:
I find this post very judgmental. If some women choose to stay attractive, why judge them? Everyone sets their own standards and live by them. Personally, I think people should try and stay attractive – it’s good for self-esteem. What was once attractive in looks maybe now becomes attractive in other ways – their independence, they still drive, cook etc.
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loren.jpg
Well said, Sophia Loren is a good example. She refused to go under the knife, doesn't try to look young, she simply looks good, and why not?
 

Women who constantly seek to be desirable to men.​


I've always believed that women can, with their crafty feminine wiles and ways, dangle any unsuspecting fella on a string for as long as they wish to. On this very forum there are dozens of lovely ladies with their strings around me, I sometimes feel I'm wrapped in spagheti, it's smashing. 😊
 
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I've always taken pride in my appearance. I'm definitely not interested in attracting a man. I had a wonderful man but now he's gone and I'm certain no one else could replace him.

Around the house, I'm "casual" but not sloppy (never!) and when I do go out in public, I'm dressed attractively but I'm not trying to attract attention to myself. I'm very particular about my hair and when I go out in public, I do wear a little makeup so I don't scare any one (haha). I'm fortunate to have good genes. I don't look like I'm 77. I was 51 years old in my avatar. I'm very thankful to still look attractive but that's not important any more. I'm happy in my own skin and don't need anyone else in my life.
 

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