"Love you!"

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
I have become disconcerted more than once in the last few years by someone I know offhandedly saying "Love you!" when ending a conversation either in person or on the phone.

It's not that I'm not effusive or dislike shows of affection...on the contrary! I am very open with my feelings both verbally and physically. But I'm not used to someone I don't know all that well saying that to me. For me, telling someone I love them is something I save for the special people in my life. My kids and grandkids of course, and Ron, and other folks with whom I am close. But a client? One of my dance friends who I see every few weeks if we happen to be in the same dance venue and have had no other real interaction? A friend of Ron's, who has become a mutual friend but I just haven't known them all that long.

It's a bit different when it's one of the grandkids friends, who call me Gramma too, and say I love you when the grandkids say it. Seems that the younger generation throws around the term much more freely than I ever did. Seems like I'm more disconcerted when it's a peer saying that to me.

I dunno. It's not that I'm even offended, because I'm not, not at all. But It's disconcerting and unexpected and it takes me by surprise, especially when I'm not sure what to say back, y'know? I've mostly encountered it as part of a quick goodbye. "Gotta go, love you, bye!!" kind of thing and it's quick. It's easy for me to say Talk to you later, bye!!" quickly without it being obvious that I haven't returned the "love you" part of the greeting. But there have been a couple times when I've been taken off guard, and said "Love you too!" back, without actually knowing if I mean it or not. It's just not something I say randomly, because the declaration is significant to me.

Has anyone else encountered this?
 

I’m not into lovey dovey terms of endearment from people I’m not in love with or have a loving attachment to.
Its uncomfortable. It can add pressure to a needless relationship .
 

RadishRose said:
Just with my family.

Ronni, don't say it back if you're not comfortable saying it. No one could blame you.
Click to expand...

Rose, I know. Rationally I know that. But in the moment I get flustered..... and I don't fluster easily, or often lol!! It's that thing of not wanting to offend, or creating an awkward silence or something. I'm a work in progress on this, obviously! :D
 
Only now and then with family. I think people who say that casually are just doing it out of habit, not much meaning behind it. I wouldn't care, just wouldn't respond in kind.
 
Yes, I always assume that the person means luv a term of vague affection and not love an intense feeling of deep affection.

I let it go and don't respond in kind.

I was brought up to take words like love, friend, etc... very seriously and don't use them with casual acquaintances.
 
I've never been to England but like to watch English dramas and detective shows on PBS and am always surprised when the characters say ''love'' as in a pronoun to people they just met. Ex. a bartender saying "What will you have, love?". Does that really happen?
 
Yes PVC that really happens.
Newfoundlanders are also very bold to open displays of affection and using lovey dovey names to total strangers.
It’s really something you are used to or you’re not. They certainly are friendly people; just a bit too forward for me.
 
There are many forms of "love". If you mean it anyway other than the deep romantic love for a spouse it is just a sign of a deep friendly relationship. There are many kinds and love but they are all better than hatred. Just my opinion...
 
Keesha said:
Yes PVC that really happens.
Newfoundlanders are also very bold to open displays of affection and using lovey dovey names to total strangers.
It’s really something you are used to or you’re not. They certainly are friendly people; just a bit too forward for me.
Click to expand...

Oh, I think it's charming, but can you imagine my surprise when this female detective I like was interviewing a witness to a murder and she called the girl ''love'' even though she just met her and the setting was a police station? LOL
 
PVC said:
Oh, I think it's charming, but can you imagine my surprise when this female detective I like was interviewing a witness to a murder and she called the girl ''love'' even though she just met her and the setting was a police station? LOL
Click to expand...
Oh yes it is surprising alright. :yes: :lol:
 
I don't use the term I love you at all. Growing up I never heard it used. I come from a very loving close knit family and we all knew we were deeply loved and it showed in their actions rather than words. I have a girlfriend I've known for over 40 years. She always says I love you when we part. I never return it. I respect and am honored to have her for a friend for so long but I don't love her.
 
PVC said:
I've never been to England but like to watch English dramas and detective shows on PBS and am always surprised when the characters say ''love'' as in a pronoun to people they just met. Ex. a bartender saying "What will you have, love?". Does that really happen?
Click to expand...

yes it really does..it's something we don't even give a thought to..it means no more than say Americans when you call someone honey... or similar!!

I've noticed lately on American shows that more and more it's being used.. I can only imagine they've got it from British dramas... it just never sounds the same tho'... :D
 
OP Could be it was just a slip.

I always end my phone conversations with family with an I Love You.

Some things just become habit..not sayin' it should but possible.
 
I'm not seeing it as something to be bothered by..there are worse ways to end a conversation.
You don't have to say "love you" back.
Try talk to you later OR take care OR nice talking to ya, bye.
 
"Love" is another word that just gets thrown around & it becomes popular to use it excessively. People who use it that way don't mean it literally; I think that's their way of saying "I like you."
 
It's just become a saying with little meaning behind it. You can say it back or not, I don't think it matters much.
 
No big deal, at all, as I see it. If you "get flustered," you might want to examine why.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top