"Love you!"

[Ronni]

Only to my daughter, just in case it’s the last thing I ever say to her

I always end a conversation with my kids and my grandkids and Ron with "I love you." I say it meaningfully, every single time.

When my son was in active addiction, it became apparent to me that I could lose him at any time. He overdosed and "died" more than once. Any time I saw him could, quite possibly, be the last time I ever would and so no matter what was going on I became very purposeful to tell him, every single time we conversed, "I love you son" realizing that that could be the last time I ever saw him alive. I wanted those words to be the last ones he ever heard from me, rather than the anger, recrimination, upset that emanated from me during that time in his life. And I did that as much for me as for him. I had enough regrets concerning him, I sure didn't want to live with any more!!

That time in our lives (he's been in recovery for 4+ years now, the longest time in the 15 years he was an active drug user) while incredibly painful, also taught me so much, none the least of which that life, mine or anyone else's, isn't guaranteed, and so, at least as far as my loved ones are concerned, treat them kindly and lovingly because it there is a possibility, however slight, those may be the last words they get to hear from me...or I get to say to them. Not to sound morbid, or fatalistic or anything else, but just as a fact.

 

[Lara]

One of my daughters says I love you at the end of every phone call. When we part in person, same thing plus a hug. For Jennifer, it's the real deal. She's special like that. It's her way of assuring you everyday that you're loved. She truly has all this love to give and has always been the peacemaker in the family. She's the only one without any family dynamics because she finds the best in everyone and focuses on that. She has her moments but doesn't hold onto grudges. And I have to say, everyone loves Jennifer...it's infectious.

Her fiancé used to laugh at us. He said, "You two can have a conversation like this, 'Hi Sweetie, how do I get to the store?' Hi Mom, go to the light, down the hill, and take a right. I love you. Luv you too. Bye'. :laugh:

:bighug:...Luv you guyz !

 

[Ronni]

One of my daughters says I love you at the end of every phone call. When we part in person, same thing plus a hug. For Jennifer, it's the real deal. She's special like that. It's her way of assuring you everyday that you're loved. She truly has all this love to give and has always been the peacemaker in the family. She's the only one without any family dynamics because she finds the best in everyone and focuses on that. She has her moments but doesn't hold onto grudges. And I have to say, everyone loves Jennifer...it's infectious.

Her fiancé used to laugh at us. He said, "You two can have a conversation like this, 'Hi Sweetie, how do I get to the store?' Hi Mom, go to the light, down the hill, and take a right. I love you. Luv you too. Bye'. :laugh:

:bighug:...Luv you guyz !

My kids and I do that too lol!

Y'know, it's interesting that Lara saying "I luv you guyz" at the end of this, and also when AZ Jim said he loved us, I have zero discomfort with that, which sort of brings to light for me the idea that it's more just the one-on-one that I am taken by surprise by. Hmmmm....gonna have to think about that!