I moved in with her. This is the best place I've ever lived. My main concern is losing this place. I'm only still here because I listen to her complaints about people. Ironically, she complains about people who complain about people.
It's a peck on the lips. Being kissed is a huge thrill for me.
She smiles and makes conversation. I've lived long enough to know I'm lucky to know a person who will do that with me. People just don't like me.
Nihil, if you've been staying in her place all this time, and she interacts and gets along with you better than anyone has before, then you really should think more positively about your situation. Also, if those 7 cats are yours, and she's okay with them living in her home, that's a big plus from the way I see it. My pets are family and I think you feel the same about your cats.
Anyone in any relationship has to listen to complaints about things from their partners, that's part of the package. When you come home it's nice to be able to share things that made you happy or upset you during your day, especially if you're still working. After retirement, complaints lessen greatly.
She smiles, talks to you and gives you a friendly kiss now and then, from what you've said, that's a pretty nice thing you have. I'm not sure why so many people don't like you, and I don't know if that's really how everyone feels or if you just interpret it that way. In any case, your girlfriend seems to be a good match for you, your living arrangements even without intimacy seem to be ideal for your personality. If she's a roommate rather than a lover, that's okay, don't take that friendship too lightly.
I suggest you make a little bit of an attitude adjustment in yourself, don't look at the negatives, things can be so much worse for you. You have a friend, you have a place to live where you're welcome. Even if it's not the relationship you hoped for all your life, it is the one you have. You should be more positive and appreciate the good things about it.
Bringing in some money will help with your self-esteem and make her feel better about your being there, because you would be contributing to the household financially, nothing wrong with that. Take note of the good things in your life right now, it seems there are enough which shouldn't be ignored. Living in a hippie commune when you're over 50 in the year 2019 just doesn't seem very secure or reasonable, and what about your cats? You'd be happier if you were just thankful for what you have now, look to the future with some light in your heart and eyes, you won't regret it.
