Alzheimer's

AZ Jim

AZ Jim

R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
Location
SURPRISE, ARIZONA
My little brother was struck with this terrible disease. I can't talk to him on the phone due to him not understanding me and vice-versa. His poor wife has to watch him full-time. I talk to her frequently. She has had special locks on the doors so he cannot go out without her, she sleeps with "one eye open" in case he wanders. She allows him into the grounds during the day when she is with him. The outside gates are also locked. This is a terrible disease, a brain thief. God bless the caretakers of those afflicted, they never rest. I hope none of you are having to deal with this horrible disease.
 

We've seen this terrible disease first hand. Our next door neighbor suffers from it. He was a smart man, head of his department at the local university. His wife tried to keep him home for a long time. Sometimes he would get out and wander the neighborhood. We walked him home several times. Once he tried to enter a house on the next block and the woman called the police. Luckily the police realized what his problem was and brought him home, thanks to identification he carried. Once he wandered into their back yard in his shorts and lied down on his back on a really hot day. When his wife discovered him he was badly sunburned. As a result, one leg got infected and had to be amputated.

It got to the point where she couldn't handle him and now he is in a special home. She visits him daily and feeds him meals. The poor woman has been through hell. It's tragic to watch.

Don
 
Were I diagnosed, G-d forbid, I'd quickly take action to leave this existence, no doubt about it. As with other diseases with dire prognoses, I fail to understand why anyone chooses to exist in a life filled with continued suffering. Not only is it terrible for the victim, it is just as bad, if not worse, for those close to him/her.

My sister suffered with rapid onset dementia for about six months before succumbing to pneumonia at an AL facility she had recently been placed at, this past January.
 
Horrible disease, and seems to be so much more prevalent than years ago.

It's said that it used to be called senility, and we all knew an older relative or an elderly neighbour who was a bit vague, and we'd flippantly say ''they're senile''.. and I remember years on being told that the reason for senility was the use of aluminium pans while cooking... well..hello.. hardly anyone ,if anyone at all uses aluminium now, and dementia in all it's form s has increased exponentially, even among the younger generation, ... so what's causing it? (rhetoric question obvs)

My mother was a geratric nurse, and she never had to deal with wards full of dementia sufferers in the way that hospitals and care homes do now!!
 
It' really sad to see when someone you know has it and you remember what they were like in their prime. I remember my father, a virile, energetic man's man reduced to that.
 
Some of you may have taken notice that I have been posting more, much more than usual. My wife went down to Florida to be with her sister and her husband for at least a month and I have been bored to tears.

My wife is down there helping to take care of her oldest sister, who has Alzheimerā€™s. Her husband refuses to put her in a home. He feels that because his wife has 3 sisters that each one can take a turn for 1 month at a time to go to their home in Florida. The doctors are saying that she will probably live about another 18 months. The husband has agreed to pay travel expenses and also for the groceries while each sister is there. They do not have to take care of him in any form. Sheā€™s been down there for 2 weeks so far everything seems to be going OK.

My wife doesnā€™t mind doing this and Iā€™m OK with it also, but the other 2 sisters donā€™t think they should be made to be involved with his plan. So, this is the first month of trying this, but I keep asking my wife what she will do if when her month is up, none of the other sisters go down to relieve her. She says we should worry about that when and if that happens. I think we should have a plan now.

I also wonder about when the sister gets near her end, what that will be like? Will she need to go to a Hospice or how does this disease come to an end? I havenā€™t studied about it, so I have little knowledge of what to expect. Iā€™m sure that not every case is the same.

What do you think?
 
I'm sorry to hear about this , 911... how old is your s-i-l ?

I think you really need to study this as much as you can for both your wife, and your sister-in-laws' sake.. in fact all the family.

It's very involved, there's not just one type of alzheimers , symptoms vary greatly in different people... The illness can progress very slowly or very fast..and with devastating consequences. Your b-i-l may have no alternative but to put his wife into care.

Start by looking at some youtube videos, of people who are already caring for their family members in the later stages of alzheimers and or dementia... and see just how much is involved.
I think your wife is going to be thoroughly exhausted after this month is over, if her sister is in such a late stage as to have been given a limited expected time of life by her doctor.. , so she will also need a lot of support from you and her other sisters.
 
My s-i-l is 73. I have started reading about the disease and have also signed up to join an Alzheimerā€™s support group in my city, but that doesnā€™t begin until 9/4 and then meets twice per week for 8 weeks.

Iā€™m really wondering about what will happen when her month is over. She is already ticketed to come home and she told me that if necessary, she will stay one additional week, if one of her sisters needs the extra time before she can make it down there.

Iā€™m used to having things planned and structured. This, ā€œLetā€™s wait and seeā€ approach is just not me.
 
my dad has alzhiemers, hes in a home now, it upsets mum visiting him, as he doesnt know her anymore, and just swears at her,..... very sad ..........dads 94, mums 93..........
 
charry said:
my dad has alzhiemers, hes in a home now, it upsets mum visiting him, as he doesnt know her anymore, and just swears at her,..... very sad ..........dads 94, mums 93..........
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It must be very upsetting to watch your spouse or father fade away like that, and not remember himself or those around him, very sorry to hear about your father Charry. When I was younger my aunt, who never married, developed Alzheimer's, she live with family until they could no longer care for her. She was put into a nursing home where she eventually died from this deadly disease.

I always fear getting it or my husband getting it, a physical disability is so much better than a mental one like that. :(
 
Scientific advances have provided for our increased longevity. Ironically, scientific advances are largely responsible for the advances in manufacturing processes that now make our environment far more toxic than its ever been in our species' time on this planet, and that increased toxicity is, without a doubt in my mind, largely responsible for the great increase in various forms of dementia we're now seeing in the very old and not so old.
 
Maybe 10 years ago, a senior with Dementia escaped from a nursing home. We had a 3-state BOLO on him, but no luck. Two days later, he called his brother from Florida and asked him to "....come down for a visit and bring me my clothes."

He was tucked away in a motel down in Jacksonville. When asked how he got there, he replied, "I took the bus. How else would I have got here?"
 
9-1-1, I'm so sorry that your family is dealing with this crisis. As others have said, it's a very difficult path to walk. Dementia and Alzheimer's affect the entire family, not just the person who has it.

That said, I think your BIL's expectations are outrageously presumptuous. It's one thing to request help, quite another to expect/demand it.

Do you think some of this is financially motivated? It's a lot cheaper to pay a few hundred dollars for a round trip plane fare and $100 a week in groceries than to foot the bill for full time care. Maybe he can't afford proper caregivers for her.
 
My granddaddy on my mother's side had it.

He wondered off one day and my grandmother went running down the street to get him.

She fell ,broke her hip and didn't make it through the surgery.

They put granddaddy in a nursing home after that, and he didn't last long.
 
SS: You hit the nail on the head. My b-i-l is as cheap as they come. This is a man that doesnā€™t eat out unless he has a coupon for the restaurant. Two years ago, he received a ticket where he lives for a red light violation. He wanted me to call the Sheriffā€™s office and use my ā€œauthorityā€ to get him out if paying the fine. His violation is all on video. And, I have zero authority to get anyone anywhere out of paying a fine, including myself.

I feel sorry for my s-i-l for having to go through this. She is a kind and giving person. Very charitable. Her and her husband are extreme opposites when it comes to spending and giving. The more that I read about this disease, the scarier it becomes. I can only imagine what the end will be like.

Itā€™s really weird thinking back to when I was growing up and an old person would begin to act strange and my Mom or Dad would tell me that theyā€™re old and senile. ā€œSomeday you may get like that.ā€ I never gave it another thought.

Fast forward and Alzheimerā€™s was discovered. Now, we know that Grandma or Grandpa may not have been senile, but may have had Dementia or Alzheimerā€™s. They werenā€™t going off their rocker. They had a real disease. I have read that some medicines may slow the progression of the disease, but there is no cure (yet).
 
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Seeker said:
My granddaddy on my mother's side had it.

He wondered off one day and my grandmother went running down the street to get him.

She fell ,broke her hip and didn't make it through the surgery.

They put granddaddy in a nursing home after that, and he didn't last long.
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Oh, wow! Thatā€™s terrible.
 
911 said:
Some of you may have taken notice that I have been posting more, much more than usual. My wife went down to Florida to be with her sister and her husband for at least a month and I have been bored to tears.

My wife is down there helping to take care of her oldest sister, who has Alzheimerā€™s. Her husband refuses to put her in a home. He feels that because his wife has 3 sisters that each one can take a turn for 1 month at a time to go to their home in Florida. The doctors are saying that she will probably live about another 18 months. The husband has agreed to pay travel expenses and also for the groceries while each sister is there. They do not have to take care of him in any form. Sheā€™s been down there for 2 weeks so far everything seems to be going OK.

My wife doesnā€™t mind doing this and Iā€™m OK with it also, but the other 2 sisters donā€™t think they should be made to be involved with his plan. So, this is the first month of trying this, but I keep asking my wife what she will do if when her month is up, none of the other sisters go down to relieve her. She says we should worry about that when and if that happens. I think we should have a plan now.

I also wonder about when the sister gets near her end, what that will be like? Will she need to go to a Hospice or how does this disease come to an end? I havenā€™t studied about it, so I have little knowledge of what to expect. Iā€™m sure that not every case is the same.

What do you think?
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I wonder about the "probably another 18 months" in context of your second post re his penny pinching. I've worked in an ancillary capacity in long-term care for over 20 years. Death from Alzheimer's and dementia from other causes can progress quickly, but that's not the norm. A 5'9" resident in one of the homes I do contract work for had lost down to 75 pounds when I started working there six years ago. I was sure she was on the way out at any moment ...she's still alive and she was only admitted eight years ago because home care was no longer possible. If he's worried about paying for her care, I question his time frame. It could be 18 months or it could be several years.
 
Seeker said:
My granddaddy on my mother's side had it.

He wondered off one day and my grandmother went running down the street to get him.

She fell ,broke her hip and didn't make it through the surgery.

They put granddaddy in a nursing home after that, and he didn't last long.
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Oh that's so tragic, what a really sad ending!!
 
StarSong said:
9-1-1, I'm so sorry that your family is dealing with this crisis. As others have said, it's a very difficult path to walk. Dementia and Alzheimer's affect the entire family, not just the person who has it.

That said, I think your BIL's expectations are outrageously presumptuous. It's one thing to request help, quite another to expect/demand it.

Do you think some of this is financially motivated? It's a lot cheaper to pay a few hundred dollars for a round trip plane fare and $100 a week in groceries than to foot the bill for full time care. Maybe he can't afford proper caregivers for her.
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I agree. I do not think it is reasonable or fair of him to demand the sisters come down there and help. Many people simply cannot take a month out of their lives -- they probably all have families who need them, too. He should either hire help or have her admitted somewhere that is equipped to take care of her properly. Demanding help is way beyond the line and also dumps a helluva guilt trip on those who are not able to help or on those who are trying to help but cannot stay all the time if the others cannot.
 
treeguy64 said:
Were I diagnosed, G-d forbid, I'd quickly take action to leave this existence, no doubt about it. As with other diseases with dire prognoses, I fail to understand why anyone chooses to exist in a life filled with continued suffering. Not only is it terrible for the victim, it is just as bad, if not worse, for those close to him/her.

My sister suffered with rapid onset dementia for about six months before succumbing to pneumonia at an AL facility she had recently been placed at, this past January.
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I intend to do the same. I just hope I recognise the signs when they start. I shall put my affairs in order and take a one-way walk into the sea. This disease puts such a burden on others and for what? The sufferer isn't living, they are just existing.
 
A friend's philosophy is that every sane senior citizen should stockpile enough meds to gently exit this life, if and when our mental or physical health is on an impossible path. Can't disagree with him.
 
hollydolly said:
Horrible disease, and seems to be so much more prevalent than years ago.

It's said that it used to be called senility, and we all knew an older relative or an elderly neighbour who was a bit vague, and we'd flippantly say ''they're senile''.. and I remember years on being told that the reason for senility was the use of aluminium pans while cooking... well..hello.. hardly anyone ,if anyone at all uses aluminium now, and dementia in all it's form s has increased exponentially, even among the younger generation, ... so what's causing it? (rhetoric question obvs)

My mother was a geratric nurse, and she never had to deal with wards full of dementia sufferers in the way that hospitals and care homes do now!!
Click to expand...
Odd that you mentioned aluminum cookware Holly. Some years ago anti-perspirents (not deodorants) were suspected of contributing to Alzheimer's because they contain aluminum. Don't know if they still do.
 

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