A growing acceptance of my life, as it will be....

treeguy64

treeguy64

Hari Om, y'all!
Location
Austin, TX.
Of late, I am increasingly aware of changes in my thinking, concerning the direction my life may be heading.

I am coming to the realization that I'm fine embracing new realities, as I see them:

I no longer find that playing gigs is the rush it once was, for me. As such, I'm selling my band equipment.

I no longer have much of a desire to attend parties, be out among groups of people, dance until dawn, etc. I actually am not distressed when I contemplate holiday evenings at home, watching fireworks on TV, watching New Year's Eve celebrations on TV.

I look forward to my forays with Janet, where we spend four hours running errands around town, and then come home to read, watch TV, take naps, play with Max, get into projects, etc. With Janet retiring in May, we will be able to be out and about while others are still at work. We won't have to fight totally horrible traffic, and crowds in stores.

I don't have any lofty goals, anymore, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I may sell my remaining property and leave Austin, but if I don't, that's OK, as long as we can spend summers in cooler cities.

Life goes on, until it doesn't, and that's fine. I don't want to live forever, this time around, just until my quality of life sucks hard enough to show me that it's time to make my exit. Absolutely no fears, along that line.

I think it's time to get back into Zen. I'm feeling that gentle breeze, hearing that soft whisper...........
 

You're lucky you have a long-time mate that you care about and get along with. And, if you permit me an unasked for advice, don't sell your house yet, if you REALLY like it. Hire a rental manager and let them rent it, and you two can go check out other places and states. Like my mother liked to say, "You know what you're leaving, but don't know what you will find". Of course, me being a rebel, I used to retort, "If you never leave, you'll never know what you will find". LOL You might find a place you will love, but you might also decide that Austin is not so bad after all. Only time and experience will give you the answer.
 
treeguy64 said:
Of late, I am increasingly aware of changes in my thinking, concerning the direction my life may be heading.

I am coming to the realization that I'm fine embracing new realities, as I see them:

I no longer find that playing gigs is the rush it once was, for me. As such, I'm selling my band equipment.

I no longer have much of a desire to attend parties, be out among groups of people, dance until dawn, etc. I actually am not distressed when I contemplate holiday evenings at home, watching fireworks on TV, watching New Year's Eve celebrations on TV.

I look forward to my forays with Janet, where we spend four hours running errands around town, and then come home to read, watch TV, take naps, play with Max, get into projects, etc. With Janet retiring in May, we will be able to be out and about while others are still at work. We won't have to fight totally horrible traffic, and crowds in stores.

I don't have any lofty goals, anymore, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I may sell my remaining property and leave Austin, but if I don't, that's OK, as long as we can spend summers in cooler cities.

Life goes on, until it doesn't, and that's fine. I don't want to live forever, this time around, just until my quality of life sucks hard enough to show me that it's time to make my exit. Absolutely no fears, along that line.

I think it's time to get back into Zen. I'm feeling that gentle breeze, hearing that soft whisper...........
Click to expand...
I'm basically where you are, and I have been for a while. It's kick-back time.
 

I'm happy for your peace of mind. That's awesome. For myself, I have many goals to achieve and much to prove to myself and to others who may benefit from it. I'm not ready for death, retirement, or anything else of that sort, and though I'm not alone, I still enjoy making an impact in this world- :love:. I'm zen within myself, but not with what I have left to accomplish. Good luck to us both.
 
treeguy64 said:
Of late, I am increasingly aware of changes in my thinking, concerning the direction my life may be heading.

I am coming to the realization that I'm fine embracing new realities, as I see them:

I no longer find that playing gigs is the rush it once was, for me. As such, I'm selling my band equipment.

I no longer have much of a desire to attend parties, be out among groups of people, dance until dawn, etc. I actually am not distressed when I contemplate holiday evenings at home, watching fireworks on TV, watching New Year's Eve celebrations on TV.

I look forward to my forays with Janet, where we spend four hours running errands around town, and then come home to read, watch TV, take naps, play with Max, get into projects, etc. With Janet retiring in May, we will be able to be out and about while others are still at work. We won't have to fight totally horrible traffic, and crowds in stores.

I don't have any lofty goals, anymore, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I may sell my remaining property and leave Austin, but if I don't, that's OK, as long as we can spend summers in cooler cities.

Life goes on, until it doesn't, and that's fine. I don't want to live forever, this time around, just until my quality of life sucks hard enough to show me that it's time to make my exit. Absolutely no fears, along that line.

I think it's time to get back into Zen. I'm feeling that gentle breeze, hearing that soft whisper...........
Click to expand...

You've mentioned Janet on occasion. I'm a nosy old broad. Does Janet feel the same sense of contentment and security as you do? And yes I know, it's none of my business but I have a curious mind.
 
I feel the same way also. Very contented. My only fear is not of dying but how I'm going to die. I hope when the time comes I have some input and my wishes will be respected, no heroic measures and the kids won't lay on the guilt by wanting me to try all the barbaric and ridiculous treatments they tend to put people through these days. So, as for now, I intend to enjoy the holiday season with my family and afterwards work on my projects and hobbies at home or do anything else that may strike my fancy which might include doing nothing at all, which on occasion can be a lot of fun.
 
chic said:
I'm happy for your peace of mind. That's awesome. For myself, I have many goals to achieve and much to prove to myself and to others who may benefit from it. I'm not ready for death, retirement, or anything else of that sort, and though I'm not alone, I still enjoy making an impact in this world- :love:. I'm zen within myself, but not with what I have left to accomplish. Good luck to us both.
Click to expand...

I don't think it has anything to do with death or retirement (if that is seen as a negative thing, a withdrawal from life), but rather it is an acceptance of the reality of the shortness of life and the quiet letting go of impossible goals and the "if onlys."
 
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