Emotional Maturity

Like to think of it as "emotional intelligence". For instance, sitting in the doctor's office, waiting and waiting for a long time certainly challenges you. I ask to have both my husband and myself scheduled "early" in the morning, as the doc load takes its toll the later you come in and was informed " Dr. so and so's patients are scheduled a year in advance for all the "early slots"...so we had to schedule a later in the morning appt.

To me, that is emotional intelligence on the part of the doc's patients. They know this guy and don't want to tax their emotions if they don't have to. There is also a framed cartoon on the check in desk that says "your blood pressure is too low, go out and sit in the waiting room for a couple more hours". LOL!
 

Judycat said:
My husband was emotionally immature. Too often things were a catastrophe for him and it was everyone's fault.
He never changed. My parents were the same way. Life leans toward the unfortunate, give yourself and everyone else a break, geez.
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C'mon now, Judy. Just think how dull life would be without all of the "drama queens" (both male and female) that make up our otherwise hum-drum existence !! 😄
 

Repondering said:
My comment was sarcasm, Keesha.
Actually, in my family I started assuming domestic tasks in the home when I was in the fourth grade....ironing clothes; two years later I had become the cook, dishwasher and laundry manager. Mom's depression (expressed by sitting in a chair all day staring at the floor) compromised her own abilities in the domestic abilities department. I was also her personal caregiver.
I'll leave the assessment of my maturity level to anyone who cares to pass judgment on it.
By the way, I would be most interested to hear a definition of the term maturity....
And thank you so much Keesha for wondering if I've ever considered my upbringing.
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OK, so Keesha obviously missed your sarcasm. You knew that and should have dismissed her comments, since she misunderstood what you really meant. Instead, you felt the need to make a much more sarcastic comment in the last line. The subject was emotional maturity and yours is lower than you think.
 
Repondering said:
My comment was sarcasm, Keesha.
Actually, in my family I started assuming domestic tasks in the home when I was in the fourth grade....ironing clothes; two years later I had become the cook, dishwasher and laundry manager. Mom's depression (expressed by sitting in a chair all day staring at the floor) compromised her own abilities in the domestic abilities department. I was also her personal caregiver.
I'll leave the assessment of my maturity level to anyone who cares to pass judgment on it.
By the way, I would be most interested to hear a definition of the term maturity....
And thank you so much Keesha for wondering if I've ever considered my upbringing.
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Ok. I wasn’t sure if you were or not as I have never seen your sense of humour before but know you had a rough childhood from reading your posts.

As far as the definition of maturity ,..... I don’t have one so will leave that up to others.

And as far as your last sentence,.... I’ll refrain from commenting since I don’t know if you are being sarcastic or not. I’ll just assume that you are.
 
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Nautilus said:
OK, so Keesha obviously missed your sarcasm. You knew that and should have dismissed her comments, since she misunderstood what you really meant. Instead, you felt the need to make a much more sarcastic comment in the last line. The subject was emotional maturity and yours is lower than you think.
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Yes I AM a bit on the slow side so didn’t quite clue in at the time but have now. I wouldn’t have added the thread and asked for comments if I didn’t want them but thank you all the same.
 
Keesha said:
Ok. I wasn’t sure if you were or not as I have never seen your sense of humour before but know you had a rough childhood from reading your posts.

As far as the definition of maturity ,..... I don’t have one so will leave that up to others.

And as far as your last sentence,.... I’ll refrain from commenting since I don’t know if you are being sarcastic or not. I’ll just assume that you are.
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Yeah, I was being sarcastic and probably I was speaking out of turn.....I'm sorry if I said too much.
My sense of humor is obscure to people in real life and even more obscure online....I'll try to more be clear in the future.
My childhood was a train wreck and I'm oversensitive about it....again, apols.
I hope things can be OK between us Keesha.
 
Repondering said:
Yeah, I was being sarcastic and probably I was speaking out of turn.....I'm sorry if I said too much.
My sense of humor is obscure to people in real life and even more obscure online....I'll try to more be clear in the future.
My childhood was a train wreck and I'm oversensitive about it....again, apols.
I hope things can be OK between us Keesha.
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No sir. It was perfect and just the thing I needed to hear so I genuinely thank you. I can understand you being sensitive about your upbringing but if you don’t mind me saying, you are very mature and handle yourself very well.

And YES we most certainly are ok. More than ok. 👍❤
 
I don't feel any different than when I was six years old. I don't know if that makes me immature ,or that I was one hell of an advanced six year old. I see the world just as I did when I was 6. I feel about people the same as I was at 6. My knowledge base is a bit bigger than I was @6, but essentailly I'm the same. I never had this shift to "maturity " that so many talk about.
 
Keesha said:
Thank you so much Ruthanne.👍
This is, by far, the best article I’ve read on the subject . I’d like to post the 12 signs of emotionally maturity later and of course work on them.
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I tried to copy them with my mouse and wasn't allowed to I guess because my mouse wouldn't work to copy. So, I think that site isn't allowing it. They have some materials you can print out, though, I think.
 
Ruthanne said:
I tried to copy them with my mouse and wasn't allowed to I guess because my mouse wouldn't work to copy. So, I think that site isn't allowing it. They have some materials you can print out, though, I think.
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Thank you for that info. I’m not looking to copy them. I’m planning on writing them out one at a time. It’s something that would help me greatly and perhaps it might help some others as well. Some of the article is simply brilliant. In the past I’ve done much self help and this article had some info I’ve never considered before.
 
Each person has a different level of emotional maturity. It is something which you can continuously work on and improve over time.
You can use the following signs of emotional maturity to gauge your own level. Don’t expect to be perfect in each of these areas all the time as it is highly unlikely however improving each of these areas will help you to reach your emotional maturity.
1/. Flexibility - every time we allow someone to move us through anger, we teach them to be angry. When communicating with others, you need to adjust your style with the different personalities you deal with. You must meet them where they are. If you are treating two friends the same and getting different results, the problem isn’t them. You are failing to adapt your communication style.
NOTE: When you have emotional maturity, you realize that a relationship is not one imposing their will on the other. The relationship is the meeting point of two personalities, therefore each relationship will be different because the personalities within the relationship are different. You adapt accordingly.
 
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2/. Responsibility-Experience is NOT what happens to you. It’s how you interpret what happens to you. When something goes wrong, you do not rush to blame others. There is a lot going on in the world around you at any given moment . It’s easy to think that others are going out of their way to make life difficult for you. Their actions can seem to be causing you problems. Blaming others is taking the easy way out. Remember that you must have flexibility (#1) and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances. Things will go wrong from time to time, but if they keep going wrong then you are failing to adapt . When you have emotionally maturity, you take responsibility for your own life. You understand that the current circumstances are a result of the decisions you have made up until now. When things DO go wrong , you not only don’t blame others, you don’t blame yourself either. ( yes ❤ ) It’s important to understand that accepting responsibility isn’t the same as taking the blame yourself. Taking the blame suggests you did something wrong deliberately. Accepting responsibility means that you accept that something went wrong as a result of an action you took, or a decision you made. This is empowering as you then come to realize that making better decisions and taking better actions, you can improve the outcomes you achieve. You don’t sit and wallow in your own misery. You identify what you can do differently the next time and develop a plan to implement these changes. To do this, you examine the situation honestly and make a list of everything that went wrong. From this list you can identify the things which you CAN control and DUMP the rest, one by one in order of importance. In other words, you prioritize and work your way through the necessary changes. Once you have done so you will find that you will achieve a better outcome. NOTE: Emotional Maturity is accepting that things go wrong; accepting that you are fallable, rolling with the punches and learning from your mistakes. When you ‘manage’ that, you have a much better life.
 
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fuzzybuddy said:
I don't feel any different than when I was six years old. I don't know if that makes me immature ,or that I was one hell of an advanced six year old. I see the world just as I did when I was 6. I feel about people the same as I was at 6. My knowledge base is a bit bigger than I was @6, but essentailly I'm the same. I never had this shift to "maturity " that so many talk about.
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I wish I could remember "six" !😥 I can recall some of the last 80 but the first "six" are lost.
 
3/. You understand that vision trumps knowledge.
Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the person that rationalizes their emotions. You understand that you do not need to have all the answers. As long as you can identify the problem, you can visualize a solution and research the best way to implement that solution. Perfectionism is one of the biggest causes of procrastination and one of the biggest obstacles facing the modern worker. Jobs are not as clearly defined as they once were. Even in companies with product lines, they no longer make the same product for life. Products must constantly be updated and innovated, therefore people are no longer working to set a plan or blueprint. Most companies and most people wait until they can see exactly how to do something before they will make a start but the most successful don’t wait for that. They have a vision of what they wish to achieve and set about to find a way to achieve it. They understand that they may fail many times, but know that they only need to succeed once. Emotional maturity allows them to understand that you can’t always travel in straight lines. Thomas Edison invented 1,000 ways not to invent the lightbulb before he finally did. Colonel Sanders tried to sell his recipe over 1,000 times before someone finally bought it. Michael Jordan failed to make his basketball team the first time round. If all of the above people knew how to succeed before starting, they wouldn’t need more than one attempt to succeed. The points above tell us the importance of staying true to your vision of what you want to achieve. NOTE: Every successful person will suffer knockbacks but learn from them and go again. It is a STRONG vision and emotional maturity that allows them.
 
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4/. Personal Growth
He who spends time regretting the past, loses the present and risks the future. Meeting the challenges of tomorrow requires learning and developing today. You have a desire to learn and a thirst for knowledge. Learning and development form a part of your schedule. As already mentioned, a great deal of emotional maturity starts with the relationship you have with yourself. Remember that if you want something or someone to change, you need to start by changing yourself first. Maybe you need to change your views, your actions or the words you are using but when you change something about yourself, those around are influenced to change in response. You may have a negative experience but when you look at it objectively, you can identify areas where you need to grow or where you need to develop new knowledge, skills and attitudes to progress. Whether you have just lost your job or are struggling in a relationship, your ability to learn and grow will play a key part in your ability to overcome the challenges you face. Next time you face a difficult situation, ask yourself; What can I learn here and how can I grow from this. NOTE: Lasting success and happiness comes from your ability to grow as a person. You were not meant to be stagnant. Like all living things, you were meant to grow.
 
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