Would You Send An Anonymous Note To A Neighbor?

Lee

Lee

Senior Member
Location
Chatham, Ontario
Somehow I think this is just plain wrong and my heart just breaks for this kid.

I watch her each day doing figure 8's on her bike for more than an hour at a time with no stops. The span for the 8's is about 8 homes. I can see she is getting tired as the bike starts to wobble after a time.

She almost fell yesterday and yet mom was yelling at her to do 25 more. The kid is a bit on the pudgy side so figure this is mom's way to make her lose weight.

All this and yet the mother who is very overweight sits watching.

Want to send a note telling mom to get a bike and they both go for a real ride, there are country roads around here.
 

If it concerned me I would go over and engage the mother in conversation.

I might nudge the conversation in the direction of the daughter looking tired or comment on the number of figure 8s in an effort to gain a better understanding of what is happening and then offer my opinion if I thought it would do any good.

It may be the mother's misguided attempt to prevent the daughter from growing up to be obese like her.

If it's more than that or some outright form of punishment/neglect that could harm the child I would report it to CPS.
 
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fmdog44 said:
I would not intervene simply because it is a private matter between mother and child. It could spark bad feelings including the mother suspecting everyone including her daughter.
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I agree, I would not interfere with that family, it's not like the child is being beaten, starved or physically abused. If the mother received a note, she may even take it out on the child, become angry and make here exercise even more. Best to leave it alone, IMO.
 
Unless the mother has health issues and can't
do much, she should lead by example, I never
had a problem speaking to somebody who I
thought was out of order, but in this case I
would try to find out if the mother was ill before
saying anything.

Mike.
 
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No, I wouldn't send a note.
I would not talk to the "mother."
I would contact Child Protective Services. That is child abuse. And there is likely much more worse abuse going on where you can't see it.
I've done it before on one occasion with an abusive mother. The 7-year-old child was moved to his grandmother's house permanently.
 
Aunt Bea said:
If it concerned me I would go over and engage the mother in conversation.

I might nudge the conversation in the direction of the daughter looking tired or comment on the number of figure 8s in an effort to gain a better understanding of what is happening and then offer my opinion if I thought it would do any good.

It may be the mother's misguided attempt to prevent the daughter from growing up to be obese like her mother.

If it's more than that or some outright form of punishment/neglect that could harm the child I would report it to CPS.
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You can report it, however, in many states social workers are not going out to homes at this time. I reported a neighbor, years ago, because if his kid didn‘t do his reading, he made the kid climb up a 15 foot rope several times, and other stuff. It was unfounded.
 
dont send note it wont do a thing lee--- have a chat with her saying you have notice how tiring it seems for a youngster ' riding a bike it only strengthens the leg muscles - if she goes on and saids shes over weight tell her swimming 2 times a week is far better option -the riding could put a strain on the young ones heart riding to much ..BUT if she kicks off tell her if she sees the child doing it again u will get in touch with the social sevices -it will stop her if nothing will --let us know -stick to what is right !!!
 
win231 said:
I've done it before on one occasion with an abusive mother. The 7-year-old child was moved to his grandmother's house permanently.
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What if there is no grandmother, or other relative? I worked in foster care & adoption, my second 'real' job.
 
win231 said:
No, I wouldn't send a note.
I would not talk to the "mother."
I would contact Child Protective Services. That is child abuse. And there is likely much more worse abuse going on where you can't see it.
I've done it before on one occasion with an abusive mother. The 7-year-old child was moved to his grandmother's house permanently.
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Yeah, add to the overburdened CPS caseload with "she makes her ride a bike." :rolleyes:
 
oldman said:
Would it be possible for you to take a stroll up the street and speak to the girl and ask her straight forward why she continuously rides in circle 8's?
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So you want an older person to talk to someone’s else’s kid, and ask the kid personal questions. Hmm, I would not do that, ever.
 
oldman said:
I'm curious as to why? I often speak to the kids in my neighborhood.
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If the parent is abusive to their own child, what do you think they will do to a disapproving senior? Really, really, bad ideal. As to speaking to your neighborhood kids, that’s different than questioning a child you don’t already have a relationship with.
 
Thinking all this over. I have not seen her riding at all today, maybe Sunday is a day off.

The mother is someone I would rather not engage in conversation. Quite a quarrelsome person according to a neighbor I trust does not exaggerate.
 

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