My mother, age 95, says she wants to live to be a 100. Why? Why does anyone want to be that old? How long do you want to live and why?

Aneeda72

Aneeda72

Well-known Member
I don’t want to live to be a 100. I can‘t pick a death date, but a doctor told me he thought I’d only live till 75 due to my failing digestive system. I’ve looked everywhere, as has my husband 🤓, but we simply can’t find an expiration date anywhere on my skin.

Then, again, 75 sounds pretty good, gives me a couple years still.
 

Lc jones said:
If a person feels good why not?
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She can barely walk, she is nearly blind. She refuses assisted living or a nursing home, although I can understand the nursing home thing. She’s fallen in the bath tub and broke stuff. She often has to be hospitalized. She does not feel good. I just don’t understand.
 

My biological mother died at age 25 of kidney disease. My mother died at 97. So I've set my "limit" to 97. I know God's in charge but I really don't think I'd want to live past that age. If I'm in spectacular health and the world hasn't gone to hell in a hand basket, then I might reconsider.
 
Don M. said:
I want to live as long as I can stay active. Being invalid is a curse, IMO. My "hero" is my old Grandad....he was quite active right up to age 97, and one day, after taking his morning walk, and then popping into the recliner for his afternoon nap, he passed quietly in his sleep.
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I so agreed. As my health declines and my quality of life lessens, I want to stick around less and less. I don’t understand why doctors don’t understand this. This is why I am DNR/DNI.
 
Hmmm, and I wonder if your mother is wondering why you would be O.K. with dying at 75. Part of the beauty of knowing other people is realizing how different we all are in our thoughts, feelings, and desires. I'm guessing she must feel like her desire to go on living surpasses whatever frailties she is experiencing.
 
Marlene said:
Hmmm, and I wonder if your mother is wondering why you would be O.K. with dying at 75. Part of the beauty of knowing other people is realizing how different we all are in our thoughts, feelings, and desires. I'm guessing she must feel like her desire to go on living surpasses whatever frailties she is experiencing.
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My mother is ok with anyone dying but her. I think she is afraid of dying, not in regards to being dead, but she is worried about where she will end up-as in hell. Last time I saw her she was somewhat crazed, becoming a religious nut.

She insisted that I “forgive her” for things she had done to me in my childhood. She said, 😂, that if I refused to forgive her I was not a Christian. 😔 I refused. This request came after she said some very nasty things to me concerning my childhood.

Basically, I told her she need to seek forgiveness in another place. I wonder if other really old people have this same concern-a fear of hell. I believe the belief in hell has lessened and Satan has lost power in the modern world. Without followers, gods cease to exist.
 
Aneeda72 said:
My mother is ok with anyone dying but her. I think she is afraid of dying, not in regards to being dead, but she is worried about where she will end up-as in hell. Last time I saw her she was somewhat crazed, becoming a religious nut.

She insisted that I “forgive her” for things she had done to me in my childhood. She said, 😂, that if I refused to forgive her I was not a Christian. 😔 I refused. This request came after she said some very nasty things to me concerning my childhood.

Basically, I told her she need to seek forgiveness in another place. I wonder if other really old people have this same concern-a fear of hell. I believe the belief in hell has lessened and Satan has lost power in the modern world. Without followers, gods cease to exist.
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Interesting question, for certain. I don't actually know any older people who are worried. Most of the ones I know are either totally convinced of their place in heaven or do not believe in an afterlife at all. In both cases, none seem too worried. However, I'm not sure I know too many people who are revisiting their past sins - maybe that's the blessing of failing memories??? :p ;)
 
Aneeda72 said:
My mother is ok with anyone dying but her. I think she is afraid of dying, not in regards to being dead, but she is worried about where she will end up-as in hell. Last time I saw her she was somewhat crazed, becoming a religious nut.

She insisted that I “forgive her” for things she had done to me in my childhood. She said, 😂, that if I refused to forgive her I was not a Christian. 😔 I refused. This request came after she said some very nasty things to me concerning my childhood.

Basically, I told her she need to seek forgiveness in another place. I wonder if other really old people have this same concern-a fear of hell. I believe the belief in hell has lessened and Satan has lost power in the modern world. Without followers, gods cease to exist.
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I already told my kids I'm sorry I hollered so much when they were little and that it was mostly out of frustration. My youngest son who has two children under 3, said he yells at his too, so it's ok. He said they don't seem to listen unless he's yelling. I told him when I was a kid I wouldn't listen until Mom and Dad took a certain tone in their yelling. We both laughed.

Your mom sounds like she enjoys winding you up. It's irritating. My mom used to do that too, there isn't much to be done because they are old and of course they know this.
 
Marlene said:
Interesting question, for certain. I don't actually know any older people who are worried. Most of the ones I know are either totally convinced of their place in heaven or do not believe in an afterlife at all. In both cases, none seem too worried. However, I'm not sure I know too many people who are revisiting their past sins - maybe that's the blessing of failing memories??? :p ;)
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My mother is as sharp as a tack memory wise. She has just started to have some “senior moments”. She hated her c-pap machine and was able to get oxygen approved for herself by Medicare. I think the poor worker just wanted to stop hearing from her. 😂
 
If she is already 95, why not envision getting to 100? Many people do these days.

I don't think of myself getting there, but those that do, good for them..
 
Judycat said:
I already told my kids I'm sorry I hollered so much when they were little and that it was mostly out of frustration. My youngest son who has two children under 3, said he yells at his too, so it's ok. He said they don't seem to listen unless he's yelling. I told him when I was a kid I wouldn't listen until Mom and Dad took a certain tone in their yelling. We both laughed.

Your mom sounds like she enjoys winding you up. It's irritating. My mom used to do that too, there isn't much to be done because they are old and of course they know this.
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My mother is a cruel horrific person. She goes beyond “winding me up.” One of the things she said was that she tried to put me up for adoption when I was 2 and had she done so I would have known what real abuse was.

She continued to say that since she couldn’t get rid of me, she couldn’t divorce my dad, and since she couldn’t divorce my dad, I was responsible for her having a miserable life and my having a miserable childhood. What a load of.

Course she was keeping my brother, apparently he wasn’t a burden.
 
Aneeda72 said:
My mother is a cruel horrific person. She goes beyond “winding me up.” One of the things she said was that she tried to put me up for adoption when I was 2 and had she done so I would have known what real abuse was.

She continued to say that since she couldn’t get rid of me, she couldn’t divorce my dad, and since she couldn’t divorce my dad, I was responsible for her having a miserable life and my having a miserable childhood. What a load of.

Course she was keeping my brother, apparently he wasn’t a burden.
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I'm very fortunate to have had good parents, and have seen the devastating emotional damage that bad parenting can cause. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a hurtful childhood.
 
Bonnie said:
If she is already 95, why not envision getting to 100? Many people do these days.

I don't think of myself getting there, but those that do, good for them..
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One of the issues, with relatives this old, who cares for them? My brother and his wife are experiencing major medical issues themselves. She wears them out and resents they don’t respond like she thinks she should. Do we want this for our children? I do not.
 
Sometimes people have issues with close family members because they are so much like them .... and they just don't see it.

My daughter-in-law is a good example of that. She has always criticized her mother, ever since I've known her. .. but having met her mother, and gotten to know her some, I feel they are very much alike.
I would NEVER tell DIL that thou ... ;)
 
Bonnie said:
Sometimes people have issues with close family members because they are so much like them .... and they just don't see it.

My daughter-in-law is a good example of that. She has always criticized her mother, ever since I've known her. .. but having met her mother, and gotten to know her some, I feel they are very much alike.
I would NEVER tell DIL that thou ... ;)
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Yup, I am nothing like my mother. Despite her behavior I still accept her phone calls, send her cards, money, but I will never see her again.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I don’t want to live to be a 100. I can‘t pick a death date, but a doctor told me he thought I’d only live till 75 due to my failing digestive system. I’ve looked everywhere, as has my husband 🤓, but we simply can’t find an expiration date anywhere on my skin.

Then, again, 75 sounds pretty good, gives me a couple years still.
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The body holds many secrets.
A news release told of a woman being shot but surgeons haven't removed the bullet from her yet.

What is a woman's yet?
 
Knight said:
The body holds many secrets.
A news release told of a woman being shot but surgeons haven't removed the bullet from her yet.

What is a woman's yet?
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I’ll never tell you. It’s a secret we’ve kept for are entire lives through out the generations. How long do you want to live, btw
 
Aneeda, , if things are that bad between you& your mother that you’re not seeing her, why not just cut ties with her, don’t accept calls, mail, whatever. If you still think it’s necessary to contribute financially to her, get it set up to be administered by a third party. There are ways to do that. And let go of this emotional burden.
 

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