Social Media makes some people feel like crap.

[Ronni]

Just read a blog about how social media makes some people feel like crap. How some people are fed up with perfect Instagram streams and over-the-top happy Facebook statuses. They want to see the real life, the whole picture, the messy and unfiltered stuff. Some of the fed up people blame the posters, and some blame the viewers.

So if someone posts beautiful pictures to Instagram from their amazing vacation, or features their smiling baby and happy fun filled family on Facebook, and someone else looks at the pictures and feels jealous or resentful because their baby is colicky or they’re getting a divorce or they can’t afford a vacation, who is at fault? I don’t have an answer to that except to say that we all have bad days. We may not post those bad days on Facebook, but we all have ‘em. And those bad days INCLUDE days in which we just don’t WANT to see anyone else’s “perfect” life because it will just piss us off!

I’ve solved that problem for myself. I don't think I'm facebook friends with anyone from here. So you don't know that I post all manner of pictures of my fun, picture perfect vacay or my adorable grandkids looking, well, adorable. But I also post pics of me with bed head, or in my ratty clothes and no makeup, my hair standing on end while I’m turning it turquoise, or whatever other goofy, ridiculous, and yes, REAL images that portray my REAL life. Because I want the balance. Because I want to be authentic. Because I want people to SEE me. See ME, not some idealized portrayal of what I’d like my life to be like or what I want you to be believe my life is.

Life’s messy. Mine is especially messy right now as you know if you've read my recent posts. But even in general, my life and everyone else's too can be messy and often is. But advancing age, and a smattering of hard won wisdom has taught me to celebrate life in all its glory, embracing both the perfect and the imperfect with equal enthusiasm, feeling no guilt for the perfect times and no shame for the imperfect, just enjoying it all while I still can!

I'm trying so hard to do that right now, in the midst of this pandemic, and all that it has brought to my life personally. A lot harder right now to celebrate life, but I'm trying.

 

[Em in Ohio]

...So if someone posts beautiful pictures to Instagram from their amazing vacation, or features their smiling baby and happy fun filled family on Facebook, and someone else looks at the pictures and feels jealous or resentful because their baby is colicky or they’re getting a divorce or they can’t afford a vacation, who is at fault? I don’t have an answer to that except to say that we all have bad days. We may not post those bad days on Facebook, but we all have ‘em. And those bad days INCLUDE days in which we just don’t WANT to see anyone else’s “perfect” life because it will just piss us off!...
/QUOTE]
Oh Ronni - I'd tell you to 'get real', but you obviously always have been! A childhood friend of mine would send 6-7 page Christmas letters telling me how wonderful, great, terrific, perfect, etc. her life was. What could I say? "My life is in chaos, a living hell, everyone is down on their luck in my family?" This wouldn't have garnered sympathy or compassion from her - It would have just boosted her ego. I stopped opening her letters after the third year.

 

[Ronni]

Oh Ronni - I'd tell you to 'get real', but you obviously always have been! A childhood friend of mine would send 6-7 page Christmas letters telling me how wonderful, great, terrific, perfect, etc. her life was. What could I say? "My life is in chaos, a living hell, everyone is down on their luck in my family?" This wouldn't have garnered sympathy or compassion from her - It would have just boosted her ego. I stopped opening her letters after the third year.

I have friends who send out similar letters every year. With some of them, I happen to be up close and personal with their lives, like one set of grandkids other grandmother. She lists all the good stuff. There are times when the bad stuff far outweighs the good stuff so some years their newsletter is very short.

 

[Marlene]

I have a very simple rule about my social media. I only share what I want to share. I can't take responsibility for other people's feelings.

 

[Gaer]

When I lived in Alaska, there were MANY Tlinglet and Inuit children and teenagers committing suicide because when they were sent to school, they watched television and saw how the Americans lived in such wealth and affluence. They compared this with their meager lifestyle and they couldn't handle it! People will always pretend to appear better than they really are, smarter,more clever, nicer,prettier. richer, luckier. etc. That's O.K., It's the FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT, always trying to be better than you really are. I can't take fancy vacations and I'm excited for those who can! I'm not jealous or anything. I'm happy for them! Really! There will always be people who have more than me,who get to experience more adventures , but why would you let that "piss you off?" You made your choices and they made theirs. I'm going to shut up now.

 

[Aunt Bea]

 

[Devi]

It's not necessary to share everything on social media. For instance, on Facebook I only have a few friends ... and I use the rest for pictures of cats. Lots and lots of pictures of cats.

 

[squatting dog]

I only have a total of 6 friends on FB. 5 are relatives which makes it easy to keep in touch. The other is a lady friend I know in England because I like to keep abreast with what goes on there.