How many single men turn down the chance of relationship with married woman?

Two friends of mine left their wives for other women. Both were my boss either before or after this took place, and in one case I knew the first wife, (having offered her employment where I was working, at the request of my friend), and knew the second wife a little, and they are still together twenty odd years on with a second family getting grown up now. The other guy I only knew his second wife, and you could say "she broke up the marriage", but I do believe what the man said, that though he had two lovely daughters with his first wife, he was simply bored with the marriage, whilst the next lady was a definite challenge!.

The first man I mentioned I've had a lot to do with and can testify that his first wife, although lovely too, she was definitely on the boring side, whilst his second wife is a challenge from the little I know of her, but they seem happy and fulfilled too. Neither man can I condemn, much as I'm against he relaxation of rules about divorce, because I do believe staying with their first wives wouldn't have ended well, if it had been attempted.
A brother in law of mine who wanted to leave one of my sisters twenty five years ago, and maybe had an affair so could have left to be with another woman, drunk himself to death fifteen years later, (and maybe staying with his marriage played a part in this?).
Sorry, rambling post and all that, but a subject maybe worthy of scrutiny(?). :cautious:.
 

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grahamg said:
Have you ever been asked by partner/former partner why you're not feeling happy for them that they've found happiness with someone?o_O
In any event, whilst I want everyone's input, it is those men who stop themselves, when the chance to stray is there, and those who don't I'm really enquiring about here. :oops: .
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If the man is single, I call it infringing. The woman is straying.

Is it possible someone is looking for an award for not taking what was offered? You were asking for a friend, weren't you? : )
 

As for bringing up a sad or hurtful subject, we all have some subject that brings back painful memories. (Terminally ill children is one of mine.)

If fidelity is a painful subject, it's easy to move on to something else. Unless I missed a rule, participation is not required on every or even any thread.
 
I think you should leave the person if they are not satisfing your needs. Men blame cold wome for their infidelity but i don't think most women are cold.Maybe something wrong with relationship on both ebds.
 
grahamg said:
I'll keep my reasons for asking out of the discussion for now, if that alright, and I didn't find your post inappropriate at all, I'm glad to say.
I'm a little taken aback by the strong reactions in this "enlightened age", (read " anything goes, high divorce rates, no fault divorce age"). :unsure: .
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In what way is cheating on your marriage vows a sign of enlightenment?
Anyone who thinks that this is a consequence free action is anything but enlightened. Such a person is living in a dark room with blinkers on.

Being an unmarried accomplice is not without unpleasant consequences either, as previous posts have illustrated.
 
Warrigal said:
In what way is cheating on your marriage vows a sign of enlightenment?
Anyone who thinks that this is a consequence free action is anything but enlightened. Such a person is living in a dark room with blinkers on.
Being an unmarried accomplice is not without unpleasant consequences either, as previous posts have illustrated.
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When I added parentheses to the word "enlightenment" I intended to show it wasn't something I agree with, but that I feel is forced upon us as the only conclusion to draw from the relaxation of divorce laws still further in the UK. :( .
 
gennie said:
If the man is single, I call it infringing. The woman is straying.
Is it possible someone is looking for an award for not taking what was offered? You were asking for a friend, weren't you? : )
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No one is looking for any award, or I'm not, or can't be assumed to be because no one knows whether I would or would not turn down the chance of a relationship with a married woman or have done. Not asking for a friend either, as my friends who ive mentioned and who admitted infidelity, don't need anyone to tell them what they should have done.
 
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MeAgain said:
I think you should leave the person if they are not satisfing your needs. Men blame cold wome for their infidelity but i don't think most women are cold.Maybe something wrong with relationship on both ebds.
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As I've said earlier I do feel my brother in law who drank himself to death might be here today if he'd left my sister for another woman twenty five years ago. My sister bears this much responsibility for him wanting to leave, and it is this, she said a few years after they married and had children, quote:"If I'd been to college I'd never have married him", as in she regretted the marriage and he put her off going to college. That statement ignores whether he loved her, and vice versa doesnt it.
 
If the woman says she is being mistreated and therefore wants to cheat you have to ask yourself if she is being honest. I don't believe she is being a honest person if she thinks cheating is right. Best for her to get out of the relationship and divorce before she begins to date again==for everyone's sake.
 
I am going outside of the box on this one. I had a friend that was being abused by her husband and she was not in a position to leave ) she had small kids, now grown) ..she ended up finding a male friend to talk to, among other things. However, I am not saying what she did was right, but she was doing what she felt was right for her to keep her sanity. No judgement from me. Long story short, he ended up leaving her, married shortly after and him and his wife are living in their {my friend and his) retirement home. We can judge but what would we do in that situation? Our first thought is LEAVE...Its not always that easy. There are not a lot of men turn down a relationship with a married woman and vice versa. It may not go far..depending on how strong the marriage is.. JMO.
 
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Butterfly said:
How would anyone know how many single men have turned down the opportunity which you describe? And how's it any of our business?
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The question was intended to be a bit rhetorical though, and yet I'd guess all kinds of social scientists have sought "data" on the subject, but not really my interest here, except that its of incidental interest.
 
Ruthanne said:
If the woman says she is being mistreated and therefore wants to cheat you have to ask yourself if she is being honest. I don't believe she is being a honest person if she thinks cheating is right. Best for her to get out of the relationship and divorce before she begins to date again==for everyone's sake.
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In some cases...easier said than done (depending on her circumstances) as far as leaving. She can be an honest person but ended up being with a dis-honest man.
 
Ladybj said:
I am going outside of the box on this one. I had a friend that was being abused by her husband and she was not in a position to leave ) she had small kids, now grown) ..she ended up finding a male friend to talk to, among other things. However, I am not saying what she was did was right, but she was doing what she felt was right for her to keep her sanity. No judgement from me. Long story short, he ended up leaving her, married shortly after and him and his wife are living in their {my friend and his) retirement home. We can judge but what would we do in that situation? Our first thought is LEAVE...Its not always that easy. There are not a lot of men turn down a relationship with a married woman and vice versa. It may not go far..depending on how strong the marriage is.. JMO.
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I knew a guy I liked very much when I worked for him in Cambridge, UK, and he and his wife split, divorced, can't remember whether each married someone else, but both lived with a new partner, then low and behold they got back together and remarried each other, (apologies for tautology there!). Oddly enough, I think that's a real love story, crazy as it is/was. :love: .
 
grahamg said:
I knew a guy I liked very much when I worked for him in Cambridge, UK, and he and his wife split, divorced, can't remember whether each married someone else, but both lived with a new partner, then low and behold they got back together and remarried each other, (apologies for tautology there!). Oddly enough, I think that's a real love story, crazy as it is/was. :love: .
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I can see that happening but I highly doubt if my friend and her hubby get back together ( but it would not surprise me). My hubby and I were one week a way from getting divorced but ended up back together. IMO it all depends on the circumstances. True Love is VERY RARE but it finds its way back home.
 
How many single men turn down the chance of relationship with married woman?

Too many

Not sure why anyone cares about how many
One is too many
One can mess up families, friends, coworkers, kids.....many people

Too many available single wimin to make life any tougher than it is....for anybody
 
Gary O' said:
How many single men turn down the chance of relationship with married woman?

Too many

Not sure why anyone cares about how many
One is too many
One can mess up families, friends, coworkers, kids.....many people

Too many available single wimin to make life any tougher than it is....for anybody
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And too many unavailable men that make it tough on their wife, kids, etc..
 
Ladybj said:
In some cases...easier said than done (depending on her circumstances) as far as leaving. She can be an honest person but ended up being with a dis-honest man.
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I know my post wasn't really clear. I had a hard time putting into words what I was thinking. Yes, what you said is true...but regardless she needs to leave (yes, it can be terribly hard but should be done asap) before starting another relationship for her to be honest with herself and the new prospect--cheating in any sense is not being honest with anyone.
 
Ladybj said:
That grass can turn from green to brown real quick. Weeds start coming up, the grass has not been cut in months...LMBO. If you have a good relationship, hold on to it..when storms come, ride the storms... storms do bring sunshine if you hang in there.
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Been married twice. Think I'll pass on having 3rds.
 
Ruthanne said:
I know my post wasn't really clear. I had a hard time putting into words what I was thinking. Yes, what you said is true...but regardless she needs to leave (yes, it can be terribly hard but should be done asap) before starting another relationship for her to be honest with herself and the new prospect--cheating in any sense is not being honest with anyone.
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Well you know, why does she have to be honest with herself if her husband was the one being dishonest? You probably meant it way different and I am responding way different. Great discussion.
 

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