As a Grandparent, a Pet Peeve

Jules

Jules

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Do you disagree with a minor way your kids raise their kids?

This mainly applies to the little ones. My peeve is the buying them things they ask for in the store. Every store. If you say no, mean it. They don’t need a treat every time they go shopping.

If they’re going somewhere and the GK is told to eat before going and they won’t be stopping for food, mean it.

I keep my mouth and my wallet shut.

I’m not saying I won’t buy them things, just don’t ask for them.
 

Sometimes it is really hard to say no. I won't pay for stuff just because they think they have to have it, like a video game, but if I can see some worth to what they are asking for, then maybe.

My daughter is pretty loose with her money, but my son is the opposite.
 

Jules said:
Do you disagree with a minor way your kids raise their kids?

This mainly applies to the little ones. My peeve is the buying them things they ask for in the store. Every store. If you say no, mean it. They don’t need a treat every time they go shopping.

If they’re going somewhere and the GK is told to eat before going and they won’t be stopping for food, mean it.

I keep my mouth and my wallet shut.

I’m not saying I won’t buy them things, just don’t ask for them.
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I remember when my kids were young, how sometimes they'd fuss over me not buying them a treat or something special while we were out and about, and I'd say to them, "treats and surprises aren't something that we get every time we leave the house, because"... and then I'd explain to them why.

For the most part my children were good, but on the occasion when they'd raise a stink, I'd tell them, "would you rather be out with mommy today, or would you rather be home with a babysitter", and that was usually enough to end their fussing.

As for saying "no", when I said no, I meant it, and I stuck to it. I don't think many kids experience that today.
 
Aunt Marg said:
I remember when my kids were young, how sometimes they'd fuss over me not buying them a treat or something special while we were out and about, and I'd say to them, "treats and surprises aren't something that we get every time we leave the house, because"... and then I'd explain to them why.

For the most part my children were good, but on the occasion when they'd raise a stink, I'd tell them, "would you rather be out with mommy today, or would you rather be home with a babysitter", and that was usually enough to end their fussing.

As for saying "no", when I said no, I meant it, and I stuck to it. I don't think many kids experience that today.
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I do agree that saying no should mean no.
 
Ever notice, during the holiday season, how ads for toys are directed at the kids with the express intention of getting them to put pressure on the parents to buy the thing?

Then we have the ads for all manner of pills, and these ads are directed at adults with the express intention of getting them to put pressure on their doctors to prescribe these things?

Everywhere we go, somebody is hawking something for sale and using any leverage possible to close the sale. It has become a constant barrage. There are people who are paid a lot of money to figure us out so as to be that much more effective at getting us to part with our money.

Since I don't have kids, and therefore no grand kids, I can't say what I would do under that sort of pressure, but it certainly can't be any fun and I don't envy those constantly placed in that position.

Tony
 
When toy ads came on television when our daughter was little, we'd ask "do you want that?", she'd always says "no, thank you". She had her boy cousins hand-me-downs that she was very happy with. I think books were her favourite gifts. On birthdays and Xmas, we always phoned her grandparents and aunt to thank them for their presents. As a kid, I was taught to send a thank-you note to acknowledge gifts. I think etiquette is important to teach children, though I'm not a grandparent.

Our mother taught us proper manners, and they stuck :)
 
tbeltrans said:
Ever notice, during the holiday season, how ads for toys are directed at the kids with the express intention of getting them to put pressure on the parents to buy the thing?

Then we have the ads for all manner of pills, and these ads are directed at adults with the express intention of getting them to put pressure on their doctors to prescribe these things?

Everywhere we go, somebody is hawking something for sale and using any leverage possible to close the sale. It has become a constant barrage. There are people who are paid a lot of money to figure us out so as to be that much more effective at getting us to part with our money.

Since I don't have kids, and therefore no grand kids, I can't say what I would do under that sort of pressure, but it certainly can't be any fun and I don't envy those constantly placed in that position.

Tony
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You're right, marketing has definitely become much more aggressive today than ever before.

We reside in a world where push, push, push... pressure, pressure, pressure, seems to be the new wave of drawing consumers in, and judging by statistics that reflect the ballooning household debt we're witnessing today, the push and pressure style of marketing is working.
 
Start when they are young. Make rules and stick to them. When I had to go shopping with my small children, they knew that there was no point nattering for things because they simply wouldn't get them.
When they were a little older and started getting pocket-money, they got a set amount but if they wanted more, they had to earn it by doing some chores for me.
 
My nephew has a 4 year old daughter, and I went shopping with them a couple weeks ago. Jane saw some hair scrunchies that she really liked, and I was amazed to hear her ask her dad, "Papi, can we afford for me to have these?" They had a discussion about the price, the value, and decided that she could have the hair scrunchies if she was willing to skip the small bag of Sun Chips she wanted as a treat. She was happy with that.

I asked him about it afterwards, and he said he was trying to teach her the value of money and how to make good choices. Also, that none of us can have every single thing we want. It was so nice to see a child behaving that way, instead of wailing and demanding. My nephew is a single dad, and I think he's doing a pretty amazing job.
 
Jules said:
Do you disagree with a minor way your kids raise their kids?
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Rule 1 for myself .... stay out of the way when it comes to grandkids rearing ... I feel my three kids are responsible adults, and I fully support anything they say/do when it comes to raising their kids.

And never become a buffer in the middle, and make for confusion ... that will put you on the outside, looking in!:ROFLMAO:
 
I say nothing to the parents. They’re not along on the shopping trips. If the GKs ask for things, the answer is no or I just ignore them. No other comments, there or later.
 
Autumn said:
My nephew has a 4 year old daughter, and I went shopping with them a couple weeks ago. Jane saw some hair scrunchies that she really liked, and I was amazed to hear her ask her dad, "Papi, can we afford for me to have these?" They had a discussion about the price, the value, and decided that she could have the hair scrunchies if she was willing to skip the small bag of Sun Chips she wanted as a treat. She was happy with that.

I asked him about it afterwards, and he said he was trying to teach her the value of money and how to make good choices. Also, that none of us can have every single thing we want. It was so nice to see a child behaving that way, instead of wailing and demanding. My nephew is a single dad, and I think he's doing a pretty amazing job.
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It seems to me that your nephew is doing a terrific job Autumn!! I really enjoyed the sharing of this with us... Please tell him all these old Grandparents are giving him an "Atta Boy!"
 
My pet peeve as a grandparent is g'kids not bothering to extend acknowledgement of receipt and thanks for a gift. It really ticks me off. The littles can draw a picture for parents to email or snail mail. The older ones can send a hand-written thank you or an email.

I'm not on FB, so it's "inconvenient" for them to thank me. What? Time to quit bothering!
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
My pet peeve as a grandparent is g'kids not bothering to extend acknowledgement of receipt and thanks for a gift. It really ticks me off. The littles can draw a picture for parents to email or snail mail. The older ones can send a hand-written thank you or an email.

I'm not on FB, so it's "inconvenient" for them to thank me. What? Time to quit bothering!
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Thank you, for mentioning this, Georgia!
 
The most recent? 18-year-old grandson who just graduated from high school. Kids from the class of 2020 really had a bad time of it...no prom, no graduation, nothing special. I sent a card and a generous cash gift. Very generous. Not walking around change to me. Apparently, it was small potatoes to him. Can you see the steam and flames and smoke coming from my nose and ears?
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
The most recent? 18-year-old grandson who just graduated from high school. Kids from the class of 2020 really had a bad time of it...no prom, no graduation, nothing special. I sent a card and a generous cash gift. Very generous. Not walking around change to me. Apparently, it was small potatoes to him. Can you see the steam and flames and smoke coming from my nose and ears?
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I feel for you, Georgia.

Seems I come across these types of stories regularly, and it tells me that the simple teachings of yesteryear have become all but non-existent today.
 
Aunt Marg said:
I feel for you, Georgia.

Seems I come across these types of stories regularly, and it tells me that the simple teachings of yesteryear have become all but non-existent today.
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Thing is that their parents taught them well. When they were littles, the thank you's were in the mail or email the same day or the day after being received. I dunno what happened, but the parents are now just as negligent as the kids. The times may be changing, but it surely doesn't seem like they're changing for the better!
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
Thing is that their parents taught them well. When they were littles, the thank you's were in the mail or email the same day or the day after being received. I dunno what happened, but the parents are now just as negligent as the kids. The times may be changing, but it surely doesn't seem like they're changing for the better!
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I second that.
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
My pet peeve as a grandparent is g'kids not bothering to extend acknowledgement of receipt and thanks for a gift. It really ticks me off. The littles can draw a picture for parents to email or snail mail. The older ones can send a hand-written thank you or an email.

I'm not on FB, so it's "inconvenient" for them to thank me. What? Time to quit bothering!
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I would blame the parents, not the kids, in these situations.
 
Pepper said:
I would blame the parents, not the kids, in these situations.
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I'm with you on that, Pepper, but by age 18, one would think dear grandson would know better.

I can honestly say, if he were my grandson, he'd sure get one heck of an ear-full.
 

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