Thinking of Moving

oldman

oldman

Well-known Member
Location
PA
We own a beautiful home in Florida. We tried to sell it, well, not really, I priced it much higher than it’s true value in hopes of not selling it. It has five bedrooms and six and a half baths. I want to move there and sell this house we built just before retirement. My wife wants to stay here in PA. I don’t like the idea of maintaining two homes, but that may be the only way we will compromise.

Every time I bring up the issue, my wife changes the subject. I guess you could say that we are at a standstill.
 

Gaer said:
hm-m-m! Do you own the houses, or do the houses own you?
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We own both homes free and clear. I have to pay an HOA fee in Florida, plus someone to take care of the pool and shrubbery/flowers. I also pay electric and water/sewer just to keep the place ready available in case someone in the family wants to use it. So, overall, it’s a waste of money, but if I live there all 12 months and my wife comes down in the winters, I would continue with it. In summer, I would probably come back up here.
 

It is just the two of us now. The biggest reason for my wife not excited about a move are the grandchildren. Even though they range in ages 14-23, she is involved in their life to a certain degree. My son and I are close, but he told me to do whatever makes me happy.

I try to explain to my wife that we are only a two hour plane ride away and that she could come up anytime she wishes. Both of our children have an extra bedroom, if she would chose to visit. The other issue is that my wife is my daughter’s best friend. It is a mother-daughter relationship, but they do spend a lot of time on the phone with one another and they also shop together at least twice a month.

I bought the home during the recession in 2010 through a short sale with the bank. The idea was to buy it, hold onto it and then sell it when the market came back, but I enjoyed it so much, I found myself being unwilling to let it go. We have our personal items and clothes already down there, so when we travel, we just fly down, rent a car and go about doing whatever.
 
Oh, Disposable income is such a headache, isn't it?
(kidding!)
Seriously though, Don't you both have free flights for the rest of your life? I don't see you have a problem! I think you're a lucky stiff!
She and you can go back and forth as you desire! Have fun with it! If you miss each other, you're a short plane ride away!
 
oldman said:
It is just the two of us now. The biggest reason for my wife not excited about a move are the grandchildren. Even though they range in ages 14-23, she is involved in their life to a certain degree. My son and I are close, but he told me to do whatever makes me happy.

I try to explain to my wife that we are only a two hour plane ride away and that she could come up anytime she wishes. Both of our children have an extra bedroom, if she would chose to visit. The other issue is that my wife is my daughter’s best friend. It is a mother-daughter relationship, but they do spend a lot of time on the phone with one another and they also shop together at least twice a month.

I bought the home during the recession in 2010 through a short sale with the bank. The idea was to buy it, hold onto it and then sell it when the market came back, but I enjoyed it so much, I found myself being unwilling to let it go. We have our personal items and clothes already down there, so when we travel, we just fly down, rent a car and go about doing whatever.
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If I owned a house in Florida, even a run down old house with an outhouse for a bathroom, My children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren would not ever visit me because they would live with me. 🤣
 
Gaer said:
Oh, Disposable income is such a headache, isn't it?
(kidding!)
Seriously though, Don't you both have free flights for the rest of your life? I don't see you have a problem! I think you're a lucky stiff!
She and you can go back and forth as you desire! Have fun with it! If you miss each other, you're a short plane ride away!
Click to expand...
All my income is disposable income, because I always dispose it. 🤪
 
oldman said:
We own a beautiful home in Florida. We tried to sell it, well, not really, I priced it much higher than it’s true value in hopes of not selling it. It has five bedrooms and six and a half baths. I want to move there and sell this house we built just before retirement. My wife wants to stay here in PA. I don’t like the idea of maintaining two homes, but that may be the only way we will compromise.

Every time I bring up the issue, my wife changes the subject. I guess you could say that we are at a standstill.
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Two rules of marriage I learned the hard way. Rule number one is if mama ain't happy then nobody's gonna be happy. Rule number two is read rule number one.
 
Gaer said:
That's funny! But she won't be able to stay away from you for very long! She will cave!
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Oh Gaer that made me all warm and fuzzy but my two ex's caved in alright, they caved in my bank account. When them and their two lawyers were finished with me my bank account looked just like a big cave, all hollow with nothing in it but air.
 
Keesha said:
6 & 1/2 bathrooms? I can see why she wants to stay there. 🤨 What about writing a pro’s and con’s list. Make copies of it and an appointment with her to discuss it. It’s not really fair of her to disregard your wants and desires. There‘s two of you and you both need to be happy and content in retirement.
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6 & 1/2 bathrooms to clean would be one of my reasons for leaving.......
 
We lived in northeastern Florida, aka Jacksonville, for 10 1/2 years and were so, so glad to move back to Colorado. There are those that absolutely love Florida, no matter the weather, and those that don't and leave. It definitely took us to long to find out we didn't like it there.

In our marriage, we definitely would NOT live separately in different areas. Although, we knew a couple who did. They had (have) a house by Daytona Beach, Florida and a house in Lavonia, Michigan. Since he worked full-time in Michigan, he couldn't be a "snowbird" like she could. While he stayed in Michigan for work, she'd be in Florida (sometimes) during winter months.

Being a "snowbird" can be expensive, no doubt about that.
 
I had a neighbor in the Keys who lived there year-round because of severe arthritis and he could swim daily in warm salt water at his back door. Wife lived in Michigan near children and visited often. Had been doing it for years and it seemed to work for them.
 
We lived in Pa. Had a 5 bedroom home on 8 acres of land in the countryside. Our retirement plan included moving to where we would have a rancher, be warm year round & low humidity [reduce chance of arithric pains].

Were close to health care, dental,vision & 4 major food markets. We have a spare bedroom when our sons & their spouses show up for a visit. Instead of maintaining a home that exceeded our needs in retirement we opted for our independence & freedom to get out to enjoy life.

We calculated what staying in Pa. would take away from our retirement income that could be used for utilities, & taxes [no mortgage] That we used to travel everywhere we ever wanted to go & now is used for fun money.

I guess I'm lucky that my wife didn't want to be stuck indoors looking out at snow & cold for part of our remaining years.

For 25 years now our plan has worked out as we hoped for.
 


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