Encouragement for Being Up There in Age

Ruthanne

Ruthanne

Caregiver
Location
Midwest
IMO, getting older is a pretty tough prospect here in the US. That's generally speaking. I'm sure there are places and people who have respect and care for the aging person. I have noticed being treated somewhat differently at times by the ignorant. Anyhow, this thread is for the encouragement of our trials and tribulations in the twilight years. So, any thoughts that are respectful to us would be appreciated along with any images you may find that are helpful, and funny is good too; we all need a good laugh!

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An 86-year-old man was having his annual checkup. He bragged to the doctor: "Hey, doc. I've got an 18-year-old bride who's pregnant with my child. How 'bout that?"
The doctor thought for a moment & said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was a skilled hunter but one day he left home in a hurry & accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his rifle. Later that day, he came face-to-face with a huge Grizzly Bear. He raised his umbrella, pointed it at the bear & squeezed the handle. And the bear immediately fell to the ground & died.
"That's impossible," said the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at," said the doctor.
 
win231 said:
An 86-year-old man was having his annual checkup. He bragged to the doctor: "Hey, doc. I've got an 18-year-old bride who's pregnant with my child. How 'bout that?"
The doctor thought for a moment & said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was a skilled hunter but one day he left home in a hurry & accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his rifle. Later that day, he came face-to-face with a huge Grizzly Bear. He raised his umbrella, pointed it at the bear & squeezed the handle. And the bear immediately fell to the ground & died.
"That's impossible," said the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at," said the doctor.
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That's so funny!:p:ROFLMAO:
 
An older gentleman had an appointment to see a urologist. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room turned to look at the very embarrassed man.
In an equally loud voice, he replied, “NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION. BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”
 
win231 said:
An older gentleman had an appointment to see a urologist. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room turned to look at the very embarrassed man.
In an equally loud voice, he replied, “NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION. BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”
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Good one! :LOL: (y)
 
Grandpa & Grandma were visiting their kids overnight. Grandpa found a bottle of ****** in his son's medicine cabinet. He asked his son about trying one pill.
The son said, "I don't think that's a good idea, Grandpa...they're very strong & very expensive....they cost $10.00 per pill."
"I don't care," says Grandpa. "I'd still like to try one. Before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He called Grandpa & said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."
"I know," says Grandpa. "The other $100.00 is from Grandma."
 
win231 said:
Grandpa & Grandma were visiting their kids overnight. Grandpa found a bottle of ****** in his son's medicine cabinet. He asked his son about trying one pill.
The son said, "I don't think that's a good idea, Grandpa...they're very strong & very expensive....they cost $10.00 per pill."
"I don't care," says Grandpa. "I'd still like to try one. Before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He called Grandpa & said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."
"I know," says Grandpa. "The other $100.00 is from Grandma."
Click to expand...
You've sort of cornered the market on these jokes on the forum, but most appreciated, "keep it up", (euphemism intended.(y) !).
 
Old man goes up to the pharmacist and says, "I got a prescription from the doctor for some of that there ****** stuff. Can you fill that for me? But I also want you to cut each pill into four pieces. Can you do that?"

"I certainly can fill the prescription for you," replied the pharmacist, "but it wouldn't be a good idea to cut up the pills up. You should always take your medications in the form the doctor prescribed. One quarter of a pill won't be sufficient for sex."

"Sex? Sonny, I ain't interested in sex. I'm 96 years old," the old man growled, "and I got a new pair of shoes. I just want it to stick out far enough so that I don't pee on 'em!"
 
jujube said:
Old man goes up to the pharmacist and says, "I got a prescription from the doctor for some of that there ****** stuff. Can you fill that for me? But I also want you to cut each pill into four pieces. Can you do that?"

"I certainly can fill the prescription for you," replied the pharmacist, "but it wouldn't be a good idea to cut up the pills up. You should always take your medications in the form the doctor prescribed. One quarter of a pill won't be sufficient for sex."

"Sex? Sonny, I ain't interested in sex. I'm 96 years old," the old man growled, "and I got a new pair of shoes. I just want it to stick out far enough so that I don't pee on 'em!"
Click to expand...
OMG you cracked me up!
 
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