Has anybody lost their husbands or wives and decided to stay alone after that?

There's also a chance the marriage wasn't as happy as it seemed, nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors, if this is the case and the bereaved spouse quickly finds happiness with another person good luck to them, life is too short to worry about what others think
 

Thanks everybody for your reply good to get all your stories and different opinions on this. Quicksilver and seabreeze it don't look like those people were friends I wouldn't may them no mind
 
QuickSilver said:
2. He/she must not have really loved her/his late spouse.
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Au contraire...he must have really loved her and loved being married. So he married again. High praise for his deceased wife.

Had I been somewhat younger when my husband died, I would have married again (provided the right partner turned up).
 

I think that when we are older, we have more clarity in what we want, and also what we don't want. It didn't take me long to figure out that my present husband was someone I wanted to be with.. He fit me like a glove... intellectually and emotionally. His sense of humor mirrored mine and we make each other laugh. He gets me... we didn't see any reason to wait.. we were married just 15 months following both of us being widowed. We have just celebrated our 13th anniversary. I have never been sorry. But both of us paid the price with family and friends. Hubby has not been allowed to see his grandchildren or his older daughter since we were married.. it's a shame that people do this to their parent AND to their children.
 
Hi,Eric!I've lost my husband 2010. We were already making plans for our golden wedding which would have been two years later.
It should'nt be! I can understand your feelings! I would'nt like to share my own private life with someone else.
I go out with a friend now and then but like you,I go home and sleep alone.I'm a positiv and optimistic person and enjoy life again.But in my heart there is only one,which I can't forget.I fell in love with him,when I was 13 years of age.:) Of course,he did'nt notice me then! 7 years later he did.
 
I lost my husband several years ago and I don't think dating is in my future. I wouldn't mind having a friend to talk to or go out once in a while but that would seem selfish and unrealistic to believe someone would want that too. I'm OK with being alone-- not that I prefer it, I'd prefer to have my husband here but that's not going to happen. It is not grief that makes me feel this way though there isn't a day I don't think of him. I told myself as I was still grieving I would make every effort to be as happy as I can be no matter what direction life takes me. So far, I am managing OK amongst many challenges but it may be that that keeps me going! Life is still good.
 
Thanks Angelica and Carla for sharing your opinion sorry for your loss.
 
I know a lady who lost her husband after a long illness. I don't think she was thrilled with him when he was healthy but she took care of him for years while he was ill. I get the impressions that they were more like roommates bound together by financial ties. Today the last thing she wants is another man she will have to care for.
 
My husband was shot out of the sky over the South China Sea in 1966, the year our son was born. I was stunned beyond belief. AF wives are supposed to be prepared for this. Not so, but I did have a baby to keep me busy. I did not allow myself to wallow in grief for I could not pass that along to my child. While I dated sporadically and came close to getting serious with one fellow, I cut it off as I did not want to ever go through that again. I've been fine being single and have my memories. My son, on the other hand, lost his wife very fast to an extremely toxic form of uterine cancer. She was only 49 and he 52. At first he was drinking quite a bit and I sat on him for this and he listened. I got him into a bereavement group and they have bonded well and are all good friends now. He still sees a spiritual advisor and that helps. Holidays and anniversaries are still very tough for him. He keeps in touch as I did with old friends and just seems to enjoy being on his own a little more each day. He has not dated, but has an eye for the ladies as he always did, so I doubt it will be too long. They had no children.
 
Lewkat said:
My husband was shot out of the sky over the South China Sea in 1966, the year our son was born. I was stunned beyond belief. AF wives are supposed to be prepared for this. Not so, but I did have a baby to keep me busy. I did not allow myself to wallow in grief for I could not pass that along to my child. While I dated sporadically and came close to getting serious with one fellow, I cut it off as I did not want to ever go through that again. I've been fine being single and have my memories. My son, on the other hand, lost his wife very fast to an extremely toxic form of uterine cancer. She was only 49 and he 52. At first he was drinking quite a bit and I sat on him for this and he listened. I got him into a bereavement group and they have bonded well and are all good friends now. He still sees a spiritual advisor and that helps. Holidays and anniversaries are still very tough for him. He keeps in touch as I did with old friends and just seems to enjoy being on his own a little more each day. He has not dated, but has an eye for the ladies as he always did, so I doubt it will be too long. They had no children.
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@Lewkat, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband and your son's wife....my condolences and sincere sympathy.
 
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Tish said:
Eric let me first give you my most heartfelt condolences on your loss.
I lost my husband 5 years ago.
I have never bothered with finding someone else, I am happy being single and I doubt very much I will ever want to be living with someone else.
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@Tish, very sorry for your loss...hugs.
 
Bonnie said:
I've been alone since losing my husband 7 years ago, after 49 years of marriage. It was an adjustment for sure, but never did I think that I needed someone to 'replace' him. Having pets around was all the companionship I needed after that time. And I still stand by that choice.
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Bonnie, I know it must be very difficult to lose your dear husband, my sympathy. I would be like you, I can't imaging ever replacing my husband if I lost him after all these years, I would be content with the company of my pets. Hugs. đź’™
 
I lost my wife of 30 years, and did a lot of solo traveling to places she had no desire to go. I wrote trip stories about each of these travels. I ended one trip story as follows:
Well so ends a very exciting trip, but at this point my life is at a crossroads. I have no idea when my next trip is or
where it will be to. Time will tell.
Well here is what happened:
When I came back from my last trip in October, I said I had no idea where I would be going next, but I did not want
to be traveling alone again. Well, life is funny that way, because I met a wonderful lady named @Kayelle, who is a widow
and has sons about the same age as mine.
 
When I was 20 my girlfriend drowned. After a short period of disbelief I felt more anger than sadness. I find I miss some of my friends that have died but I never dwell on it much. I have never cried over anyone's death as I accept death as part of life. I hated to watch my dad pass from Alzheimer's mostly because it is a slow, grueling and sad process. I miss him most of all people.
 
My first husband died when I was in my 40s after a prolonged illness. I took care of him for 11 years. At the end, he developed a dementia related to his neurological condition. I felt more like a caretaker than a wife, and the dementia caused him to be verbally abusive.

I remarried a few years later and was married to Jesse for 26 years. I just can't imagine being with anyone else, I still feel married to him.

I'm not indulging in over-the-top grieving, and I feel like I'm getting on with my life, but there's just no place in it for another man.
 
Autumn said:
My first husband died when I was in my 40s after a prolonged illness. I took care of him for 11 years. At the end, he developed a dementia related to his neurological condition. I felt more like a caretaker than a wife, and the dementia caused him to be verbally abusive.

I remarried a few years later and was married to Jesse for 26 years. I just can't imagine being with anyone else, I still feel married to him.

I'm not indulging in over-the-top grieving, and I feel like I'm getting on with my life, but there's just no place in it for another man.
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Autumn, my heart goes out to you. My wife was brain injured, and I was her caregiver for 12 years. Towards the end she got more and more confused, as scarring was worsening.
I also remarried a few years later, and am blessed to still have my new wife here.
 

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