Why have we stopped putting effort into Christmas

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
Now we can buy artificial trees already decorated right out of the box. Gift bags replaced hand-wrapped gifts. Now we buy cookies from a store bakery or make them from prepared dough. Tele-visiting has replaced going to grandma's house. No more driving from store to store shopping for gifts when there's Amazon and eBay. Almost seems like people just want the easy way out nowadays. Kids today don't realize what went into holiday preparations 50 years ago.
 

Like not having a party line telephone times have changed. People adapt to change.
Whether the change is good or bad depends on each individual.
Speaking only for myself.
With our middle aged sons out living their lives the contact by video works for us. Trees, gifts & all the Christmas traditions we did when they were kids just doesn't work for us now.
 
Much of the excitement has gone out of life in general. Not because of the pandemic but because life has become too easy (just my opinion). In the past, we made a lot of things ourselves...not just at Christmas, but all year round. I was rather shocked to learn that handicrafts are not taught in schools any more. Gone is the satisfaction of making something yourself.
We have lost a lot in our modern world. People used to gather round a piano and have a sing-song in the evenings, now we slump in front of the tv instead.
 

We still try to hold on to the old traditions. Special cookies that we have had for generations still get baked, Opening one gift on Christmas Eve, family reminiscing about Christmases past. A nice dinner which is now prepared from scratch by my daughter.
Of course this year will be different because of the virus but in years passed I still did most of my shopping, if not all, in stores and I still send out Christmas cards although the list has dwindled because many loved ones aren't with us anymore.
 
I don't make much of an effort because I don't have anyone to make the effort for.

If I had close family and friends as I did years ago I would still be up all night baking cookies or driving from store to store looking for the perfect gift.

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I think a part of it is because people don't have the time they used to in the past. Consider that many if not most couples need to have two incomes to live up to their standards. In some places it takes two incomes just to survive in the area if you're not in one of the high paying fields. As a result there is less time to devote to many of the things you listed. Another time sink is a commute which more people seem to have these days.

Although some people love the hustle and bustle of crowded holiday shopping many don't. I think that if services like Amazon and eBay had been around 50 years ago you would have seen less shoppers out bask then as well. I know my parents used to shop for at least some of our presents from the Sears catalog. I remember how excited I'd get when the catalog came in the mail and I'd get to go through it and mark the things I'd want for my parents. Some years I'd get one of the things I marked other years I wouldn't.
 
asp3 said:
I think a part of it is because people don't have the time they used to in the past. Consider that many if not most couples need to have two incomes to live up to their standards. In some places it takes two incomes just to survive in the area if you're not in one of the high paying fields. As a result there is less time to devote to many of the things you listed. Another time sink is a commute which more people seem to have these days.

Although some people love the hustle and bustle of crowded holiday shopping many don't. I think that if services like Amazon and eBay had been around 50 years ago you would have seen less shoppers out bask then as well. I know my parents used to shop for at least some of our presents from the Sears catalog. I remember how excited I'd get when the catalog came in the mail and I'd get to go through it and mark the things I'd want for my parents. Some years I'd get one of the things I marked other years I wouldn't.
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To me, the sentence in bold says volumes. We trade one thing for another. I agree with your post overall, but that one sentence really stuck out in lights. :)

Tony
 
tbeltrans said:
To me, the sentence in bold says volumes. We trade one thing for another. I agree with your post overall, but that one sentence really stuck out in lights. :)

Tony
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In our area it's more the need for two incomes to survive. A fair number of the people who make minimum wage or near minimum wage in our area actually have to work multiple jobs each in order to have a place to live and food on the table. If they aren't doing that they are often living in blended households with multiple family members or multiple families.
 
debodun said:
Now we can buy artificial trees already decorated right out of the box. Gift bags replaced hand-wrapped gifts. Now we buy cookies from a store bakery or make them from prepared dough. Tele-visiting has replaced going to grandma's house. No more driving from store to store shopping for gifts when there's Amazon and eBay. Almost seems like people just want the easy way out nowadays. Kids today don't realize what went into holiday preparations 50 years ago.
Click to expand...
I still do a lot of traditional things my own mom did at Christmas time, like bake and cook from scratch, decorate our tree with vintage mercury glass ornaments, and wrap gifts with real wrapping paper, including adding bows and ribbon and name tags (no gift bags here), and I still send out cards to family/friends.

I remember my mom and dad getting so many Christmas cards, mom used to tack lengths of strong to the living room wall and drape the cards over the string.
 
If i DID get a tree, it would ONLY be a real Pine or Spruce, but there is no reason, since i'm alone.
I'd be like Aunt Marg, with everything from scratch and all the trimmings, if there were someone to share Christmas, but alas!
The China virus has ruined in-store shopping, so it's gift cards. This year appears to be a write-off!

But we all still have memories of traditional Christmases when we were children and when our children were young, don't we?
 
Gaer said:
If i DID get a tree, it would ONLY be a real Pine or Spruce, but there is no reason, since i'm alone.
I'd be like Aunt Marg, with everything from scratch and all the trimmings, if there were someone to share Christmas, but alas!
The China virus has ruined in-store shopping, so it's gift cards. This year appears to be a write-off!

But we all still have memories of traditional Christmases when we were children and when our children were young, don't we?
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Indeed we do, Gaer, and honestly, those are my favourite memories... memories I miss most.

Christmas seemed to last so long when I was young and growing. I remember the lead-up to Christmas in school, where we would make Christmas ornaments out of heavy colourful craft papers and tape them and hang them in class, and then came the Christmas plays in the gymnasium.

Christmas plays during school hours, and then special plays held in the evening where everyone's moms and dads attended. Of course who can forget about Christmas holidays! OMG! Was that the best, or was that the best! Tobogganing, making snowmen, having snowball fights, and just being away for school.

Then came Christmas morning, and what a time it was. I remember getting a record of two, and right onto the record player they went! I remember one Christmas getting two 45's, both Foreigner (Hot Blooded and Double Vision). I'm certain I wore those two 45's out by the time Christmas holidays were over! LOL!

And then there was the food, and snacks, and treats. Company would come and go, and we'd visit people and family, too. Such warm times, times where some days it seems like it was just yesterday, yet other times where it seems like it was a hundred or more years ago.
 
debodun said:
Now we can buy artificial trees already decorated right out of the box. Gift bags replaced hand-wrapped gifts. Now we buy cookies from a store bakery or make them from prepared dough. Tele-visiting has replaced going to grandma's house. No more driving from store to store shopping for gifts when there's Amazon and eBay. Almost seems like people just want the easy way out nowadays. Kids today don't realize what went into holiday preparations 50 years ago.
Click to expand...
Things change with time (thank goodness), the past will always be different from the present regarding Christmas and everything else, and the future will be different than things are today. Not a bad thing at all.

There might have been undecorated Christmas trees available when I was a child, but likely were expensive so my family would not have bought one. My father usually bought a small real tree the day before Christmas without my knowing, my parents decorated it and put down the gifts that night after I was asleep. In the morning the tree was lit when I woke up and it was magical. My older brother and sisters probably helped, but for me, I was unaware.

Everybody wrapped gifts, there were no gift bags sold, or they would have been used by some. We had no computer, so no option for internet shopping (also didn't use credit cards then), we did what was usual for the times. Although my mother did all the holiday cooking for us, I never recall her baking pastries or desserts, she bought those from a bakery for any special occasions.

Kids today don't realize what went into holiday prep 50 years ago because they weren't alive then. They're just fine living in the present and not the past, IMO.....it's all good! 👍
 
debodun said:
Why have we stopped putting effort into Christmas
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For a lot of people in our age group it's just burnout, all the focus on buy-buy-buy and the accompanying anxiety. Where is the religious part of Christmas...oh yea, buried under the myriad of hype and advertising we're all bombarded with since late summer.
...all I want for Christmas is some peace, both for the soul and for the world. Maybe some snow, not too much though.
 
SeaBreeze said:
Things change with time (thank goodness), the past will always be different from the present regarding Christmas and everything else, and the future will be different than things are today. Not a bad thing at all.

There might have been undecorated Christmas trees available when I was a child, but likely were expensive so my family would not have bought one. My father usually bought a small real tree the day before Christmas without my knowing, my parents decorated it and put down the gifts that night after I was asleep. In the morning the tree was lit when I woke up and it was magical. My older brother and sisters probably helped, but for me, I was unaware.

Everybody wrapped gifts, there were no gift bags sold, or they would have been used by some. We had no computer, so no option for internet shopping (also didn't use credit cards then), we did what was usual for the times. Although my mother did all the holiday cooking for us, I never recall her baking pastries or desserts, she bought those from a bakery for any special occasions.

Kids today don't realize what went into holiday prep 50 years ago because they weren't alive then. They're just fine living in the present and not the past, IMO.....it's all good! 👍
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I might add that we often forget the things that were not as much fun at the time.. Opening up and getting out all the Christmas lights, untangling the cords, and making sure that each light worked was not fun at the time. At least it was not for me.
 
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asp3 said:
In our area it's more the need for two incomes to survive. A fair number of the people who make minimum wage or near minimum wage in our area actually have to work multiple jobs each in order to have a place to live and food on the table. If they aren't doing that they are often living in blended households with multiple family members or multiple families.
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I can certainly understand that, and you did include that in your post which I said I agreed with.

There was a time, back in 2004 when Cisco Systems closed our facility as they were then doing to many remote engineering facilities due to the "dot com bust". I really liked the company because it was among the best run that I have worked for. In San Jose, the company would supplement the incomes of those who were laid off in San Jose, who were willing to work for non-profit companies for a reasonable period of time.

Anyway, I went to a local startup within a few days of being laid off. There were no other jobs around here at that time for engineers. The company moved to Silicon Valley (Sunnyvale) because they were able to get VC backing from Sequoia, whom I am sure you know of if you work in technology. I spent a lot of time out there, both working and looking for housing. We didn't want to move because we knew we would probably never be able to retire if we did. Fortunately, I did find work here within a few months and we didn't have to move. To me, that would be an awful life if we both had to work to stay above water. I realize that there are folks who see enough upside to choose that lifestyle so I can't make a global statement expecting that everybody should fee as we do. We are probably in the minority.

Tony
 
tbeltrans said:
I can certainly understand that, and you did include that in your post which I said I agreed with.
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I'm sorry, I mistook the bolding to mean that you thought the main emphasis was on couples both working to have the standards they want in their life as opposed to just being able to survive in the area. I was just trying to clarify that our area (which you are very familiar with) it's a minority of the households that have two incomes so they can maintain higher levels of luxury or wealth.

The Silicon Valley certainly isn't for everyone and I certainly can see why many people live her begrudgingly. I think the remote work started by Covid might stick around longer and companies will be more willing to have people work from home or in satellite offices. However only time will tell.
 
I think, back in our younger days, when families pretty much lived in the same town, or close too it, there were more gatherings, as the older generation planned it all. As families grew apart, and moved away, just stopped happening, especially with no one left to take the reins to plan the family fathering.
Before I was born, my grandparents house was where everyone gathered. Then, it seemed to become our house, for all the holidays. I miss the houseful of people.
 
I got to be pretty ho-him about Christmas a few years back, grown kids, deceased hubby and most extended family gone... then along came Connor in May 2012 and my Christmas spirit was rejuvenated!
It’s fun to buy toys, it’s fun to watch him open them and squeal if it’s something he was hoping for!!!
Long gone are the days of a houseful of relatives starting at noon and going well into the night but circumstances change and it helps to have a lighthearted outlook.
 
asp3 said:
I'm sorry, I mistook the bolding to mean that you thought the main emphasis was on couples both working to have the standards they want in their life as opposed to just being able to survive in the area. I was just trying to clarify that our area (which you are very familiar with) it's a minority of the households that have two incomes so they can maintain higher levels of luxury or wealth.

The Silicon Valley certainly isn't for everyone and I certainly can see why many people live her begrudgingly. I think the remote work started by Covid might stick around longer and companies will be more willing to have people work from home or in satellite offices. However only time will tell.
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The bold was merely to highlight what I was responding to because I found it to be a unique, but often applicable, comment. The rest of the post I agreed with. I had seen that for myself while I was out there. But thanks for the response. :)

Tony
 
Marie5656 said:
I think, back in our younger days, when families pretty much lived in the same town, or close too it, there were more gatherings, as the older generation planned it all. As families grew apart, and moved away, just stopped happening, especially with no one left to take the reins to plan the family fathering.
Before I was born, my grandparents house was where everyone gathered. Then, it seemed to become our house, for all the holidays. I miss the houseful of people.
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We have seen a similar trajectory in our condo association, and have come to understand this is quite common among associations. The first group of people who bought in, were very involved in the association. There were all manner of committees to handle many of the chores common to the building that we eventually had to hire a handy man for. We had several association dinners over the course of the year and both a spring and fall cleaning day in which nearly everybody turned out to help washing windows, cleaning the grounds, cleaning the boiler, etc. We had little trouble finding people to be board members, and we also had a monthly newsletter for which many of us wrote articles and then a woman volunteered to type up and then she and I would make copies and distribute them at everybody's door.

As those people moved on to nursing homes and new people moved in, we have trouble finding people to be on the board, we have no committees and no cleanup. We had to hire a handy man to do the work around the building that we on the maintenance committee used to do. Asking around, I discovered that this is a very common situation. Fortunately, we still have a quiet building with mostly decent residents. I would like to think that there are associations that have maintained that sense of community as people move through it. Ours is probably a medium sized association with 72 units.

Tony
 


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