Moved so often because of my husbands work, now I am older I am so lonely

Welcome from Oregon. I'm not really very social. There aren't many people of like mind in the area where I live. They are very conservative and I am not. Plus I write novels, and the stereotypes are true. If one is to write, being social gets in the way. Those are two of the reasons I'm here on this site.
 

Lara said:
❤️Reach out. Don't wait for others to reach out to you❤️
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It does get frustrating, though to keep trying to reach out with no success.

I think there are some people who just would rather not socialize. An online friend told me that she had tried & tried making friends and to socialize with the other women in her senior's apt. complex. After several rejections, the last time when the other woman told her, "No thank you; I'm not interested, nor will I ever be interested, in things like that." [I think it was an invitation to go get coffee or something else low-key.] The first gal said all the rejections had taken their toll on her, so she burst out with, "What IS it with the women in this complex not wanting to do anything social?!" And she said the scowl on the other gal's face deepened and she said, "Well, perhaps they're like me. I moved here to get away from people and not have to socialize! ["Socialize" was said with a sneer.] So I just want to be left alone!" and stomped back into her apt. and slammed the door.

I've had that happen to me and had a lot of gals tell me--all online since I don't talk to anyone other than online these days--that it's happened to them a lot too. I don't know if it happens as much to older men as it does to older women. Be interesting to know.
 
Hi Bliss

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Yes, it's a rough time to reach out. Everyone's afraid of contact- as they should be. Also, some people are busy at this time of year. It's a hard time to move right now.

So hang out with us. Tell us about your new home and what you've gotten done so far. Tell us about your pets if any and anything else you'd like to share. 🌹
 
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Phoenix said:
Welcome from Oregon. I'm not really very social. There aren't many people of like mind in the area where I live. They are very conservative and I am not. Plus I write novels, and the stereotypes are true. If one is to write, being social gets in the way. Those are two of the reasons I'm here on this site.
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Phoenix, I don’t understand why you can’t weite novels and be social too. I would think it would be just the opposite. That knowing more people and their personalities would be a huge help when adding characters to your novels. No???
 
Hi Bliss welcome glad you found us
You'll meet wonderful group of people from around the world which makes this forum unique
I'm the only member of my family who still lives here in our hometown,my only brother lives in Conn,my sister lives 'across the pond' I have close friends who have become my 'extended family'
Enjoy yourself here
Sue in Buffalo,NY
 
Kathleen’s Place said:
Phoenix, I don’t understand why you can’t weite novels and be social too. I would think it would be just the opposite. That knowing more people and their personalities would be a huge help when adding characters to your novels. No???
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I do know people. I have had a very full life and have had relationships with the very rich and the very poor, with men who were abusive and men who were kind, with women who were friends to me, those who claimed to be but weren't and those who were just flat out jealous. It took me a long time to figure out the jealousy issues. I had a large extended family. I saw how relationships worked with them and with others, ad infinitum.

The reason a writer need alone time is to allow the creative spark to come alive and blossom into a flame. Writing is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration. My second husband didn't want me to write so he interrupted me every fifteen minutes, literally. He didn't like what I was writing about...the murders my brother committed. My ex was ashamed of me for what my brother did. He was from old money. If people call me with their issues, or I meet with them, then I am thinking of them and their needs. It fills my mind, and the creative thoughts dissolve.

Now, I am on here, and that helps fill the social need. But since I rejoined the group this time I have mostly been in between novels. I need to clear my head of my last one and allow the personal growth required to write the next one.

Try thinking of it this way, say there is something you are trying to sort out, something you need to come to terms with. It probably doesn't work very good if you are super busy. A dedicated writer takes 2 - 5 years to write a book. The key is in the rewrite. Good writing isn't just throwing words on a page. All the ideas have to be coordinated and the threads woven through. Each one has to be wrapped up at the end, or the reader feels unfulfilled. That takes dedication. That kind of dedication doesn't work if one is too social. Writing a book is like going to a job. If while you are at work you are talking to everyone else, you will do a bad job, and will ultimately be fired. My writing is my job.
 
Phoenix said:
I do know people. I have had a very full life and have had relationships with the very rich and the very poor, with men who were abusive and men who were kind, with women who were friends to me, those who claimed to be but weren't and those who were just flat out jealous. It took me a long time to figure out the jealousy issues. I had a large extended family. I saw how relationships worked with them and with others, ad infinitum.

The reason a writer need alone time is to allow the creative spark to come alive and blossom into a flame. Writing is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration. My second husband didn't want me to write so he interrupted me every fifteen minutes, literally. He didn't like what I was writing about...the murders my brother committed. My ex was ashamed of me for what my brother did. He was from old money. If people call me with their issues, or I meet with them, then I am thinking of them and their needs. It fills my mind, and the creative thoughts dissolve.

Now, I am on here, and that helps fill the social need. But since I rejoined the group this time I have mostly been in between novels. I need to clear my head of my last one and allow the personal growth required to write the next one.

Try thinking of it this way, say there is something you are trying to sort out, something you need to come to terms with. It probably doesn't work very good if you are super busy. A dedicated writer takes 2 - 5 years to write a book. The key is in the rewrite. Good writing isn't just throwing words on a page. All the ideas have to be coordinated and the threads woven through. Each one has to be wrapped up at the end, or the reader feels unfulfilled. That takes dedication. That kind of dedication doesn't work if one is too social. Writing a book is like going to a job. If while you are at work you are talking to everyone else, you will do a bad job, and will ultimately be fired. My writing is my job.
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How interesting...and how envious I am. (In a good way😊). I love, love, LOVE to read and I think it is such a gift to be able to write and bring characters and story lines to life. I know it must be terribly hard work, but I surely do thank you for doing it💕for
 
RadishRose said:
Hi Bliss

View attachment 139517

Yes, it's a rough time to reach out. Everyone's afraid of contact- as they should be. Also, some people are busy at this time of year. It's a hard time to move right now.

So hang out with us. Tell us about your new home and what you've gotten done so far. Tell us about your pets if any and anything else you'd like to share. 🌹
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Tell us how much TP you have 😳 yes, @Ronni i did ask that 😂
 
Kathleen’s Place said:
How interesting...and how envious I am. (In a good way😊). I love, love, LOVE to read and I think it is such a gift to be able to write and bring characters and story lines to life. I know it must be terribly hard work, but I surely do thank you for doing it💕for
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If a person wants to learn to write, they can. You can too. I enjoy doing it. It's challenging, stimulating, at times frustrating and sometimes boring, just like everything else. A gift is something that's given to someone. This was not given to me. I've had to develop the skills. I've been writing since 1981. I thank you for your thoughts about it.
 
Hello Bliss from a fellow Canadian. Like you I moved around quite a bit before settling down a year ago to where I am now. It did seem a bit lonely the first month but now I am quite friendly with my neighbors. It just takes a little time to fit in.

As others have said, walk, wave and someone will talk. Can you put up outside decorations, that could also be a topic starter. On garbage day wait till you see the neighbor putting stuff to the curb and hurry to do the same and wave. Just connect whatever way comes to mind and good luck.
 
Aneeda72 said:
Well, as I said on a previous thread, I don’t have a big butt, therefore, I don’t need extra wide TP. As for the price, I bought some very pricey TP in March, as did everyone else.
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The extra wide isn't really "Extra;" it's 4.5" which is how wide TP used to be. And it's not wider for a bigger butt; it fits on the holder better. :giggle:
I only paid $30.00 for 36 rolls - before the price gouging.
 
win231 said:
The extra wide isn't really "Extra;" it's 4.5" which is how wide TP used to be. And it's not wider for a bigger butt; it fits on the holder better. :giggle:
I only paid $30.00 for 36 rolls - before the price gouging.
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My bathroom does not have a TP holder
 
So the OP came on a week ago complaining about being lonely because of numerous moves. Her extended family members are far away, she can't seem to make friends or connections, on a zoom chat nobody gave her the time of day (which disappointed her and made her feel hopeless), and she asked for advice.

47 replies so far, but the OP is gone with the wind after her lengthy introduction about how hard it is for her to click with anyone.

Does anyone else see the irony here?
 
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