Are Grandparents Important?

Q

QuickSilver

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
Do you feel that having and knowing grandparents is important to children? What do you contribute to your grandkids lives that their parents don't?
 
My grandparents were very important to my childhood, and even into adulthood. Since I'm across the pond I see my granddaughters once a year on our month long visits to Michigan. My oldest granddaughter and I have a bond. Her eyes light up when she sees me, as do mine. I was so thrilled at becoming a grandmother. I saw her at 6 weeks old and we bonded then. I've invited her to spend a month here the summer she turns 12. I figure that's old enough. So does my son. The mother doesn't like the idea - she's too clingy. We Skype each other often and have since her birth. Although she didn't pay much attention until she was a toddler. :D

So yes, I think grandparents are important and those that don't have them miss out.
 
I adored my maternal Grandma.. She was the one to go to for compassion and understanding.. She also let me get away with much more than my parents.. BUT that's ok... I think every kid needs one softie to turn to. In addition... she taught me how to cook and how to sew.. and how to SHOP... she also taught me how to drive believe it or not. She was cool..
 
I had two grandmothers, my grandfathers having both died before I was born in 1950. My maternal grandmother was important to me, she took no prisoners but we got on very well, although some of her other grandchildren found her a bit scary, as she wasn't touchy feely. My paternal grandmother was a sadist, evil old b*tch whom I couldn't stand.:mad: She beat religion into her own kids, and frightened me from the age of two with stories the tortures of hell which awaited naughty little girls like me! Unfortunately she didn't have the decency to die before she was 96, it is a pity someone didn't put a pillow over her face.

My husband and I try to be good grandparents, although I must admit it is good to have the kids in small doses as they can be tiring.
 
QuickSilver said:
I adored my maternal Grandma.. She was the one to go to for compassion and understanding.. She also let me get away with much more than my parents.. BUT that's ok... I think every kid needs one softie to turn to. In addition... she taught me how to cook and how to sew.. and how to SHOP... she also taught me how to drive believe it or not. She was cool..
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Wonderful!! My maternal grandmother moved in with us when I was about 5, so she was a big part of my life. Spoiled us when my parents weren't looking. She cut my hair, taught me embroidery, how to bake.

My other grandmother was very cool as well. She always had a cookie jar full of homemade cookies whenever we visited.
 
I'm glad you said that Justme.. I'm not that used to kids any more... When my GKs visit... I'm pretty happy when they leave.. Not that I don't love them.. BUT they sure can be tiring. When they go... pour a glass of wine and put my feet up.. and let out a deep sigh.
 
QuickSilver said:
I'm glad you said that Justme.. I'm not that used to kids any more... When my GKs visit... I'm pretty happy when they leave.. Not that I don't love them.. BUT they sure can be tiring. When they go... pour a glass of wine and put my feet up.. and let out a deep sigh.
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Never got to experience that as I didn't become a grandmother until I'd lived in Scotland for 5 years. When we visit we stay at my siblings houses as my son hasn't got room for us.

My sister is the one getting worn out by grandkids. They all live within 20 miles of her and there are 5 - oldest being 5 - from her 3 kids. She loves it though and her house is set up for grandkids visiting.
 
I had a poor grandma.and a rich grandma..

We went to rich Grannies every Sunday..I had to wear a dress..:(

I had to behave myself...

Poor grandma's was another matter..always lots of fun...big fire in the grate...big pan of soup...she had a pet jackdaw..my mom had a horse that used to poke it's head through the window and steal the salad..when she pegged clothes out the jackdaw would run along the line pulling them out..

She was very fat..and when she sat in front of the fire, she used to call me over to sit on her lap..it was like the biggest, squashiest chair ever..:D
 
I think they are important, but I don't have any children, so I'm not a grandmother myself. I was a 'change of life' baby, my mother had me when she was forty. Because of that, both my father's parents and my mother's mother had already passed. I spent a little bit of time with my grandfather on my mother's side, but not nearly enough to really bond with him before he was gone too.

My mom was Grammi to three of my sister's children, and they loved her when they came to our house to visit. Of course, all grandparents are older, and will tire of the excitement and noise of the youngsters. When I visited my sister a few years ago, and her grandchildren were around all the time, it was exhausting for me. I needed a vacation from the vacation! :p
 
Mine were a big part of my life as a youngster. I lived with my grandparents for the first few years of my life as mom and dad were going through a divorce and dad left and mom moved back in with her parents and worked most of the time.

My grandpa was my hero and taught me so many things to help me get started in life. When he passed, I totally lost it. Even though he had a drinking problem, he was the nicest guy in the world when off the booze.
 
I try to be the historian for my GKs.. I tell them about my parents (they never met them) and about my grandparents and great grandparents and how they immigrated to the US.. I haul out the photo albums to give them a face to put with the names... Right now I can see their eyes glazing over.. but in the future I KNOW they will be so happy to have that knowledge. I cherish all the stories my Grandparents told me. Particularly my Paternal Grandma.. she was 11 when she came from Germany and went through Ellis Island. She remembers it completely and told me all sorts of fascinating things... Like how they gave her a banana for lunch on Ellis Island.. she had never seen one.. so she ate it peel and all.. lol!! The told me about being so afraid of the physical exam and how they turned her eyelids inside out with a special tool to look for some sort of infection that was coming form Europe. Later on I visited Ellis Island..and I could just see my grandma standing in the Great Hall with her brothers and sisters and parents... waiting in long lines to be processed. These things are important for kids to hear.. don't you think?
 
QuickSilver said:
I try to be the historian for my GKs.. I tell them about my parents (they never met them) and about my grandparents and great grandparents and how they immigrated to the US.. I haul out the photo albums to give them a face to put with the names... Right now I can see their eyes glazing over.. but in the future I KNOW they will be so happy to have that knowledge. I cherish all the stories my Grandparents told me. Particularly my Paternal Grandma.. she was 11 when she came from Germany and went through Ellis Island. She remembers it completely and told me all sorts of fascinating things... Like how they gave her a banana for lunch on Ellis Island.. she had never seen one.. so she ate it peel and all.. lol!! The told me about being so afraid of the physical exam and how they turned her eyelids inside out with a special tool to look for some sort of infection that was coming form Europe. Later on I visited Ellis Island..and I could just see my grandma standing in the Great Hall with her brothers and sisters and parents... waiting in long lines to be processed. These things are important for kids to hear.. don't you think?
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It is important. I love looking at old photos of my parents, grandparents, even great great grandparents.

We were very close to my maternal grandmother and two of her sisters. When we'd have holiday dinners and they were all there, I wouldn't go off with the kids, I'd sit and listen to these 3 sisters and their stories. Loved the stories of when they were young.
 
Paternal grandparents died before I was born but I was fortunate enough to have my maternal ones and mam, dad and I lived with them until I was around 9 or 10. I was their only grandchild so I didn't have any competition. ;) We were very close. Now it's my turn to be the grandparent and I have 3 grandchildren. I looked after my grandson 3 days a week from when he was about 10 months old, we have a very strong bond and I can do no wrong in his eyes. lol He's a very placid, easy lad to be with and he'll be here in a couple of hours to spend the night. My two granddaughters (sister, aged 5 & 6) come round twice a week after school and they are equally lovely. They love doing craft work with me especially because I let them free with the glue and glitter!
 
I feel Grandparents are important for all the reasons listed above and also for the sense of "roots"; the feeling of belonging to an older generation and stories told of even a generation before. The history we can impart will be appreciated by the kids later. Grandparents can give a sense of history.
 
RadishRose said:
I feel Grandparents are important for all the reasons listed above and also for the sense of "roots"; the feeling of belonging to an older generation and stories told of even a generation before. The history we can impart will be appreciated by the kids later. Grandparents can give a sense of history.
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I don't know that I was much interested in history, of my family, or otherwise.
 
QuickSilver said:
I'm glad you said that Justme.. I'm not that used to kids any more... When my GKs visit... I'm pretty happy when they leave.. Not that I don't love them.. BUT they sure can be tiring. When they go... pour a glass of wine and put my feet up.. and let out a deep sigh.
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Easy for you and others to say I got to live wth my grandkids,ages 8 and 15 BUT still not complaining as Im learning what todays generation is like.
 
My maternal grandmother was very important in my life. She was one of 11 siblings---all girls but one.
The girls had to do all the chores around the farm. Very poor.

She taught me to move on and don't whine about things, and to try things only boys were supposed to do back then.
That seemed to skip a generation because my mother was not like that, and the two of them didn't get along very well.

My grandmother taught me how to crochet, shoot a 22 rifle, and play poker by the time I was about 10 years old.:cool:
 
My mother tried to teach me knitting and crochet...I really wasn't interested..

My father taught me how to shoot..but said ''If you hit something, you eat it!''

As for the Poker..my Father used to wait until we'd been given our pocket money..and then introduce us into a poker game..I lost..I lost..but then caught on..soon it was my father giving me his pocket money..
 
My father taught me how to shoot pool and play poker..... he also taught me how to cuss like a sailor.. a habit I have learned to control I may add..
 
My four grandparents were an essential part of my childhood. One set lived near us and were involved on a day-to-day basis. The other set, I only saw twice a year or so, but they were still a big part of my life. One of my grandmothers was also a huge influence in MY daughter's life. My granddaughter was literally born into my hands and I have been a greatly-involved grandma since then. I look forward (but not too soon) to being an involved great-grandma. I feel great sympathy for anyone who didn't grow up with loving grandparents. I mean, who else in the world thinks you are perfect?
 
The only relationship I had with a grandparent was my Mom's Dad. My grandmother passed when I was only 4 yrs old .My Dad's parents never cared for my Mother so they never were really a part of my life,even though we visited them often. They would ignore us when we were there. Sadly my Mom's Dad wandered away from a Feast day picnic that he was at with my Aunt. He was missing for a month and even with all the search parties it took a month for someone to find his body. It was a horrible month for all of the family.
Now that I am a Grandmother I spend a lot of time with my grandchildren. I watched them a lot when they were little and did homework with them and many other things. I love them with all my heart and if they need anything they know that my Husband and I am always there for them. They are a Blessing.
 
I love all my grand kids and enjoy being around them. We have our property cross fenced in the middle so the back half in mine and the guys can't put anything out there. We use that area to sit and enjoy nature and and have spent many hours after dark with our grand kids out there. I think I have told this on here before, we would sit out in the dark and take turns telling about A good friend we had, something embarrassing that happened to us, a teacher we really liked, a teacher we didn't like, what we hope will happen to us in the future, or whatever.... When you sit outside at night like that you feel comfortable telling things you might not normally talk about --- especially if your parents were there listening. :) Now the kids are in their 20s and we don't see as much of them. We have one grandchild in Sweden who is 8 and don't see her very often, she won't know us as well as the others do. My husband and brother have a fire pit in the middle of the front part of our place and they have spent many hours out there talking and enjoying looking at the stars. Our grand kids love that area and roasting hot dogs and marshmallows, laughing and playing.

I am closest to our oldest grandchild, who is 22. He got married last Sat. His mom told me a few years ago "R told me that Grandma " " always makes me feel loved." That made me happy. His new wife already calls me grandma.

We have a step grand daughter who doesn't seem to feel comfortable around any of our family, which is sad. I make sure we give her the exact same gifts we give the others (they all get $ except the youngest one) and although she is polite she isn't close to us at all.

There is another little guy, who is out of high school now that calls me grandma and I consider a grandchild. He lives on the east cast and one of our son's and his mom were married for 6 years. When we first met him he was 4 and so cute, he had just come to this country from an island south of Cuba. His mom is remarried now and he has a new sibling. He flew out and spent one summer with us about 5 years ago. We have talked on the phone some but really it's sad, it's hard to keep up a good relationship with him. I told him no matter what I always think of him on his BD and he told me that means a lot to him. When we were visiting out there, before the divorce, he and I would go for long walks through the neighborhoods and talk and talk but those days are gone now. I know he still thinks of my husband and I and he and our son still talk on the phone sometimes. Divorce is sad. :(
 
I had both sets of Grandparents and a Great Grandmother too. They were very important to me because my parents were young and always working and had little time or tolerance for a child's whimsy.

My grandparents loved me to bits, taught me things, encouraged me to do things, were never impatient with me and always had time to listen and comfort. To me having Grandparents is golden. And magical - my Paternal Grandma would light fires in the hearth and throw a special wax in there which would change colors as the fire blazed, just because we grandkids enjoyed watching it.
She stuffed us with homemade cookies, pies, cakes, doughnuts, roasts, sandwiches, and all the tasty stuff kids love to eat.

I wish every child could know their grandparents. They contribute so much to a child's life, especially when parents are too busy to give a child all the time a growing child requires.
 
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