Inappropriate personal questions you’ve been asked?

Aunt Marg said:
I was on the receiving end of lots of baby ones... 99% came by way of people who weren't close to me (acquaintances/neighbours), and all women.

"Pregnant again, Marg, how many is that now, 8, 10, a dozen"?
"Look at you, what a baby-making machine you are".
"How old are your other ones again"?
"What are you going to name this one"?
"Haven't you had your fill of washing diapers yet"?
"Your husband is going to have to get a second job".
"You're going to be pushing a baby buggy forever".
"Are you going to bottle or breastfeed"?
"Looks like you're carrying twins or triplets".

I've learned that having any number of children today is somewhat of a sore spot for many, but it seems the instant people find out that you're exceeding the standard one or two children, that's when the cheap-shots start. I don't remember it being like that when I was growing up.

I also learned that a number of the cheap-shots I was subjected to were tied to jealousy... women who couldn't get pregnant, and rather than offer their help in the way of occasional babysitting or whatever else a decent person typically would or could offer, they chose to instead, make light of my pregnancies.

I've also endured cheap-shots related to other life related things outside of having children, and typically, those off-colour remarks are the result of jealously, envy, sometimes both, or brought on by plain and pure spite, sort of like... if I can think it, I can say it.

It's too bad some people have a hard time reeling-in their mouths.
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You know Marg you write so well always...have you ever written a book? I so enjoy everything you write.
 

Ruth n Jersey said:
A perfect stranger asked me in a supermarket if I got my jacket in Macys and how much I paid for it.
How much money do you keep in you checking account?
I'm sure there were more.
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i can see there is a fine line is asking about how much an item was like your example ... i still see no need to ask someone maybe where did you get that nice jacket and they could look it up ....asking what people paid seems rude to me.

in my example it was more of cars/ electronics etc like it was starting a starting to barter process........ mostly designed to say you paid too much and show off their superior negotiation skills.... more of a put down or something......
people simply seem to have no boundaries.....
 
My health care system used to call with a recorded message asking personal questions about my health as a senior. I forget the exact wording but the intent was to see if I peed in my pants. Click!
 

Ruby Rose said:
You know Marg you write so well always...have you ever written a book? I so enjoy everything you write.
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Wow!

You just made my day, Ruby!

I've always been really hard on myself for feeling bad that I can't write well, even though I try so hard, so getting a boost from yourself who writes and writes oh so very well, has me sitting on cloud-9 right now!

Thank you so kindly for your warm words. 🤗

As for wanting to write, for as long as I can remember I have had a dream to write children's books. Was a dream of mine long before I became a mother. I believe having a helping-hand in the care and upbringing of baby siblings set in motion my dream, because aside from the associated baby-care that surrounds little ones, I got to experience them play, have fun, witness their firsts (walking, talking, etc), and so always felt I could write to the point where children (and mothers alike) could easily associate with their own upbringings and childhood through my books and writing.

Problem is, I've always lacked confidence in myself.
 
Gardenlover said:
I always dislike it when someone asks me how much I paid for something, regardless of what it is.
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I know what you mean, though it can be prefixed with an enquiry as to "whether you mind my asking,....?", making things a little better I feel sometimes.

In farming circles asking someone how many cattle they own is seen as similar to asking someone how much they have in their bank account, and frowned upon generally too.
 
Aunt Marg said:
Wow!

You just made my day, Ruby!

I've always been really hard on myself for feeling bad that I can't write well, even though I try so hard, so getting a boost from yourself who writes and writes oh so very well, has me sitting on cloud-9 right now!

Thank you so kindly for your warm words. 🤗

As for wanting to write, for as long as I can remember I have had a dream to write children's books. Was a dream of mine long before I became a mother. I believe having a helping-hand in the care and upbringing of baby siblings set in motion my dream, because aside from the associated baby-care that surrounds little ones, I got to experience them play, have fun, witness their firsts (walking, talking, etc), and so always felt I could write to the point where children (and mothers alike) could easily associate with their own upbringings and childhood through my books and writing.

Problem is, I've always lacked confidence in myself.
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As Steven Wright said, if the child can read, all books are childrens' books.
 
For those of you that watched the video of the shooting in NE Pennsylvania, there is a part where the man is shot 3 or 4 times and manages to get back to his home (outside) and his neighbor walks over to him and asks, “Are you OK?” I about spit out my coffee when I heard that.
 
Aunt Marg said:
Wow!

You just made my day, Ruby!

I've always been really hard on myself for feeling bad that I can't write well, even though I try so hard, so getting a boost from yourself who writes and writes oh so very well, has me sitting on cloud-9 right now!

Thank you so kindly for your warm words. 🤗

As for wanting to write, for as long as I can remember I have had a dream to write children's books. Was a dream of mine long before I became a mother. I believe having a helping-hand in the care and upbringing of baby siblings set in motion my dream, because aside from the associated baby-care that surrounds little ones, I got to experience them play, have fun, witness their firsts (walking, talking, etc), and so always felt I could write to the point where children (and mothers alike) could easily associate with their own upbringings and childhood through my books and writing.

Problem is, I've always lacked confidence in myself.
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I just got goosebumps reading the above...the perfect book...you have the emotion and the love needed to do this. Just imagine the new mothers reading your book.
 
We were both 19 when we married, going on 55 years ago. More than once...

"How long has she been pregnant?"
"When's the baby due?"
"She doesn't show. Are you sure she's pregnant?"

It took us 6 years before our first child entered this world. If everyone thought we got married because my bride was pregnant, it was the longest gestation known to the human species!!
 
Aunt Marg said:
I was on the receiving end of lots of baby ones... 99% came by way of people who weren't close to me (acquaintances/neighbours), and all women.

"Pregnant again, Marg, how many is that now, 8, 10, a dozen"?
"Look at you, what a baby-making machine you are".
"How old are your other ones again"?
"What are you going to name this one"?
"Haven't you had your fill of washing diapers yet"?
"Your husband is going to have to get a second job".
"You're going to be pushing a baby buggy forever".
"Are you going to bottle or breastfeed"?
"Looks like you're carrying twins or triplets".

I've learned that having any number of children today is somewhat of a sore spot for many, but it seems the instant people find out that you're exceeding the standard one or two children, that's when the cheap-shots start. I don't remember it being like that when I was growing up.

I also learned that a number of the cheap-shots I was subjected to were tied to jealousy... women who couldn't get pregnant, and rather than offer their help in the way of occasional babysitting or whatever else a decent person typically would or could offer, they chose to instead, make light of my pregnancies.

I've also endured cheap-shots related to other life related things outside of having children, and typically, those off-colour remarks are the result of jealously, envy, sometimes both, or brought on by plain and pure spite, sort of like... if I can think it, I can say it.

It's too bad some people have a hard time reeling-in their mouths.
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Wow! People never really surprise me but I would have assumed that a family’s size is none of anyone’s business and any such comments are plain rude and hurtful. Although I’ve never been a human mom, I definitely understand it’s the most important job on earth. Babies raised with parents who actually wanted them and love them, change the world for the best. Those kids learn about love / respect and that their lives matter which they pass on to their children. It’s a tough job and admirable job that should be not only admired but appreciated because those kids turn into decent people who in turn have learned to treat others with kindness since that’s what they learned. One day you might be working with them, befriending them or marrying them. ( not you Marg, but other people in the world ).

I personally have the upmost respect for good mothers who want and love their children.
You did good Marg. You don’t need me to tell you that but I thought I would.

People can certainly be unexpectedly cruel at times but that is one aspect of humanity. Luckily the love shared overshadows these needless comments.
 
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I was once asked how long I had been married (five years) and if I was childless by choice. I made some sort of non-committal reply hoping he would just back off, but it didn't deter him. He went on (at great length) to explain that if there was a medical reason for my not immediately producing offspring that was okay, but if not, well I was actually living in sin. o_O
 
I don't think I've had more than a few silly questions. Could be because I sense what's coming and adopt my famous frozen stare and the words probably freeze on the tongue of the person. Anyway, if the occasion arises, I just say that's private, or ask the person to give me three reasons why they want to know 🤣🤣
 
Leonie said:
I was once asked how long I had been married (five years) and if I was childless by choice. I made some sort of non-committal reply hoping he would just back off, but it didn't deter him. He went on (at great length) to explain that if there was a medical reason for my not immediately producing offspring that was okay, but if not, well I was actually living in sin. o_O
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I can relate. According to others, all females have a duty to produce children. If not, they are not doing their God given duty to humanity.
It’s shocking how many people make it their business to let you know this.

I’ve had family members lecture me about it as well as good friends. What I wonder is how this is any of their business. Who goes around lecturing people about their righteous duty in life regarding child rearing? These types of confrontations can be , not only uncomfortable, but painful to be a part of. At times I wondered if my ears were deceiving me.
 
Keesha said:
I can relate. According to others, all females have a duty to produce children. If not, they are not doing their God given duty to humanity.
It’s shocking how many people make it their business to let you know this.

I’ve had family members lecture me about it as well as good friends. What I wonder is how this is any of their business. Who goes around lecturing people about their righteous duty in life regarding child rearing? These types of confrontations can be , not only uncomfortable, but painful to be a part of. At times I wondered if my ears were deceiving me.
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My wife said she used to get that song and dance years ago at work, but that in more recent years it has become more acceptable to not have kids. As with fashions, who decides that such things become "more acceptable" at one time than another and why would anybody pay attention those people anyway?

Tony
 
tbeltrans said:
My wife said she used to get that song and dance years ago at work, but that in more recent years it has become more acceptable to not have kids. As with fashions, who decides that such things become "more acceptable" at one time than another and why would anybody pay attention those people anyway?

Tony
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Thank you! 🙏
 
I had no idea we weren't allowed to ask people personal questions like at all. People ask me stuff and expect an answer. I ask and I get called nosy. It's BS if you ask me. If you don't wanna participate in conversation with someone then don't be asking me about my business.

And just as a side note...how the hell is a person supposed to get to know someone and make friends if they can't ask personal questions?
 
Keesha said:
I can relate. According to others, all females have a duty to produce children. If not, they are not doing their God given duty to humanity.
It’s shocking how many people make it their business to let you know this.

I’ve had family members lecture me about it as well as good friends. What I wonder is how this is any of their business. Who goes around lecturing people about their righteous duty in life regarding child rearing? These types of confrontations can be , not only uncomfortable, but painful to be a part of. At times I wondered if my ears were deceiving me.
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There is a name for people who insist on lecturing others on this topic but it escapes me at this time. I agree with you 100%...it is none of their business. It is one thing to have an opinion but it is another to condemn someone.
 

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