Fear of Dementia

Jules

Jules

SF VIP
There’re are approximately 1200 different types.

Dementia is one of my biggest fears.

My mother was very clever in hiding hers. My grandmother had ‘hardening of the arteries.’ My husband will eventually have it and I feel I’m seeing some signs already. It may just be selective listening and me being hyper aware.

It seems to be everywhere. When I call my friend, it’s a repeat of everything she said in the first five minutes for the next 45. It’s ok because I expect it now. Years ago it was predicted that she might have this slow developing type. Another fellow has been told by his doctor that he shouldn’t drive - he knows but drives when he thinks he needs to. A friend who was the same age as I am died ten years ago. There’re lots of examples.

With our aging population we’ll be so much more susceptible to scammers.

If you’re on your own or both have dementia, how would you battle the other issues as we age.
 

I live alone and honestly there's not really anyone here to take notice if something goes wrong & I won't be able to do anything about it. I'll just end up somewhere some day not knowing where I am or even being aware I'm lost. I just hope it's not in the middle of winter & I don't accidentally board a flight for another country. That would tick me off if I suddenly remembered who I was and I was in India or something.
 
I try not to live around fear, because there is simply far too many things waiting to get us nowadays.

I wake each morning with a renewed sense that I am here for another day, and count my blessings that I have avoided being stricken down with some sinister or hideous disease/illness.

My advice to all, take care of yourself as best as you can, and aside from good genetics working in our favour, we have no control over fate. What awaits us cannot be avoided.

Hoping my words help calm you, Jules.
 
The sad thing is that our concerns over the future tend to rob us of the enjoyment we should be experiencing in the present.

My plan is to remain independent as long as possible and then enter the system at the last possible moment and just ride it out.

I hope I get the timing right but if I don't I'll just have to take what comes.
 
My mother's sister died from Alzheimer's many years ago. I think of dementia often. There's things I forget on a daily basis, even when I was young it happened. Getting busy, rushing around, multi-tasking, etc. I'll often go into the garage to do something, see something else I want to move or put away, then realize I didn't get the first thing done.

I don't mind getting a bit more forgetful in my old age, have to check if I did something a couple of times, etc., as long as I know who I am and who my husband it, that to me is the most terrible effect of AD. One thing I don't do is dwell on it, most of the time I catch myself quickly and do what I need to. I think it's not good for us to fear it everyday and think about it all the time, as Aunt Bea said, we rob ourselves of our precious moments in the present. That is never good.
 
MarciKS said:
I live alone and honestly there's not really anyone here to take notice if something goes wrong & I won't be able to do anything about it. I'll just end up somewhere some day not knowing where I am or even being aware I'm lost. I just hope it's not in the middle of winter & I don't accidentally board a flight for another country. That would tick me off if I suddenly remembered who I was and I was in India or something.
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You won't know you're in Kansas any more Toto... 😔...let's hope you never have to experience it
 
I'm stunned to hear from Jules that there are 1200 different types. I only knew about 5 or 6...

The thing is how can medical staff or carers know what they're dealing with when there's any one of 1200 types to choose from ?..certainly carers in nursing homes are hardly likely to know how to deal with anything that's out of what we've come expect from Alzheimers or lewy Body for example..
 
Both my brothers have a form of dementia. My oldest brother doesn't have a clue what is going on so I just listen patiently and agree with everything that he says. The younger brother knows he is more forgetful than normal but his is living with my younger sister and brother so he is well taken care of. I don't worry about it - why? It's a waste of time for me as I have other concerns that are more pressing.
 
MarciKS said:
If it's hereditary then I likely will. I think my mother is showing signs.
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How old is your mother ?

My father had PD, no dementia there.... my paternal grandmother started to get a little when she was in her late 70's.. but died in her early 80's before it got to be too bad, we just always said she was ' a little senile".. she'd stopped cleaning her house etc, but she was still able to write letters and read newspapers, but she kept repeating herself ..

My mother died in her 30's so I have no idea if she'd have gone on to suffer in her old age.. so I have to wing it and hope for the best
 
hollydolly said:
How old is your mother ?

My father had PD, no dementia there.... my paternal grandmother started to get a little when she was in her late 70's.. but died in her early 80's before it got to be too bad, we just always said she was ' a little senile".. she'd stopped cleaning her house etc, but she was still able to write letters and read newspapers, but she kept repeating herself ..

My mother died in her 30's so I have no idea if she'd have gone on to suffer in her old age.. so I have to wing it and hope for the best
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In her 70s. Last time I was there she sent me home with meatloaf she said had only been in the fridge 3 days. I walk into the living room & dad informs me it's been more than that and laughs a little. I took it home...tossed it just in case & told her it was fantastic. *Grins*
 
hollydolly said:
I'm stunned to hear from Jules that there are 1200 different types. I only knew about 5 or 6...

The thing is how can medical staff or carers know what they're dealing with when there's any one of 1200 types to choose from ?..certainly carers in nursing homes are hardly likely to know how to deal with anything that's out of what we've come expect from Alzheimers or lewy Body for example..
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The numbers were from my husband’s neurologist. The only definitive answer of the type is determined when an autopsy is done.
 
Jules said:
There’re are approximately 1200 different types.

Dementia is one of my biggest fears.

My mother was very clever in hiding hers. My grandmother had ‘hardening of the arteries.’ My husband will eventually have it and I feel I’m seeing some signs already. It may just be selective listening and me being hyper aware.

It seems to be everywhere. When I call my friend, it’s a repeat of everything she said in the first five minutes for the next 45. It’s ok because I expect it now. Years ago it was predicted that she might have this slow developing type. Another fellow has been told by his doctor that he shouldn’t drive - he knows but drives when he thinks he needs to. A friend who was the same age as I am died ten years ago. There’re lots of examples.

With our aging population we’ll be so much more susceptible to scammers.

If you’re on your own or both have dementia, how would you battle the other issues as we age.
Click to expand...
I'm 63 on my own and can't begin to know what I would do if I got Dementia. I don't seem to have any big memory problems as of yet so I'm not concerned about myself at this point.

My grandmother got it in her 80s from mini strokes. It was very very hard to see her that way. A friend of mine has been developing memory issues that seem they might be out of the ordinary. I have been trying to encourage him to see the doctor about it. He keeps saying he's 64 and that's what happens but seeing a doctor might help him. He doesn't even recall the things we talk about each time we chat. I hope he will see the doctor. I know there are treatments for early dementia out there. I don't know how good they are, though.
 
Ruthanne said:
I'm 83 on my own and can't begin to know what I would do if I got Dementia. I don't seem to have any big memory problems as of yet so I'm not concerned about myself at this point.

My grandmother got it in her 80s from mini strokes. It was very very hard to see her that way. A friend of mine has been developing memory issues that seem they might be out of the ordinary. I have been trying to encourage him to see the doctor about it. He keeps saying he's 64 and that's what happens but seeing a doctor might help him. He doesn't even recall the things we talk about each time we chat. I hope he will see the doctor. I know there are treatments for early dementia out there. I don't know how good they are, though.
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You're not 83 Ruthanne... :eek:
 
This is something I worry more & more about, also not just dementia but what Huzz and I are going to do when we can no longer safely drive (coming soon for him and I think maybe already for me) since we never had kids who might possibly help. There are things we could do now--move to a smaller place, move to a place where we could walk to places we need to go--we're within walking distance of nothing now--but Huzz is in total denial about it, says he's never moving from here, is never ever going to give up driving, etc. and refuses to discuss it any further. So I get more & more worried every day. Have I told him how worried I am? Yep; his reply? "DON'T worry; just stop it." So I'm out of luck.
 
mellowyellow said:
I have trouble remembering names of people, movie titles, places etc and wonder if it's the start of something.
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Me too.. I find myself sometimes unable to remember where I've been or what I've done just yesterday, that worries me.. also hard for me to remember things I did last year for example on holiday... I keep a diary thank God, but it does worry me, but I wonder if it's becuase I don't use my brain as much as I would have in my mothers' day. if I want to know something I look it up electronically, when i go on holiday I don't concentrate on the places so much at the time because I take a zillion photos, very quickly, .. the only real benefit to me about losing my memory is that I can read a book twice and not remember most of what I read the first time
 
I question whether the occasional forgetfulness of older folks necessarily ties into on-coming dementia or some such disease. A possibility - -of course, but many old folks become forgetful and confused at times yet live to a ripe old age, still continuing to function. And even the term "old", in these forums, can mean almost anyone over 50, depending on that person's view on aging.

I'm 87 and my wife is 84. Are we forgetful - -you better believe it. Is it a sudden onset in the last couple of years - -not at all. I probably started to become forgetful (compared to my younger self) when I was in my late 60's. Worse today? I'd say so, but not disabling in any way.

That in no way compares to folks who do start to be ravaged in their later years. I only mention the above to point out, IMHO, that there is a certain amount of mental fade out for almost all of us but many pass away never contracting any "mental disease" known to modern science.
 

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