Elderly attitudes

Duneman said:
Feeling our attitudes on life changing . easily upset is that normal aging ?
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I don't think it's normal, a lot of older couples are more forgiving with each other as their love grows with time. You should sit down and have an open minded conversation about it, sometimes communication about one's feeling can bring things into the light in a positive way, good luck.
 
@Duneman for my parents...with their personality traits...health issues and all this time together they do snap at each other regularly. They love each other. I just think sometimes they get tired of one another. They've been together over 50 yrs. A lot of what takes place is due to their health issues making them crabby.

As for normal I don't know. I don't see a whole lot of couples snapping at each other. Some folks' attitudes do change over time along with their tolerance level. Mine has changed over the past yr. or so. So my tolerance level is a little different. If you're together all day every day you're bound to get aggravated with each other sometimes I'm sure. Maybe find something separate to do for a bit.
 
MarciKS said:
@Duneman for my parents...with their personality traits...health issues and all this time together they do snap at each other regularly. They love each other. I just think sometimes they get tired of one another. They've been together over 50 yrs. A lot of what takes place is due to their health issues making them crabby.

As for normal I don't know. I don't see a whole lot of couples snapping at each other. Some folks' attitudes do change over time along with their tolerance level. Mine has changed over the past yr. or so. So my tolerance level is a little different. If you're together all day every day you're bound to get aggravated with each other sometimes I'm sure. Maybe find something separate to do for a bit.
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Thank you sound about right . you want all perfect but it ain't that way.
 
Duneman said:
Thank you sound about right . you want all perfect but it ain't that way.
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Yes over the years my patience level has lessened. I don't have the patience to do certain things anymore that didn't used to bother me. I just try to take a deep breath and let it out and just deal with the moment at hand. Try to think of it this way...it's only for a certain amount of time. Say the irritation is only for an hr. From a different point of view it's only for an hr. and not the whole damn day. You see what I mean? It's all temporary. :)
 
Duneman said:
Feeling our attitudes on life changing . easily upset is that normal aging ?
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No... IMO being easily upset is under each person's control/discipline. Blaming anything or anyone else is a cop-out, IMO.
Considering our thoughts are the only thing we all really have control over, it is incumbent and beneficial to work on ourselves to avoid being easily upset
 
It's hardly surprising if people are getting 'snappy' in the present situation. Families are being forced to spend more time together, and all the little irritations are multiplied.
If you mean in general, again, it's understandable. When both partners are involved with work and bringing up a family, they can tolerate each others differences. When the children have grown up and both are retired, those differences can seem so much worse.
It's a fact that divorce is common among older couples, and it's easy to see why. Especially if there is the prospect of becoming an unpaid carer to someone you no longer love.
 
Serenity4321 said:
No... IMO being easily upset is under each person's control/discipline. Blaming anything or anyone else is a cop-out, IMO.
Considering our thoughts are the only thing we all really have control over, it is incumbent and beneficial to work on ourselves to avoid being easily upset
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If someone is in severe pain 24/7 it's not a cop out.
 
Serenity4321 said:
I can somewhat agree..I was thinking more along the lines of psychological, not physical pain when I said we have a choice.
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Sometimes regardless of whether it be physical or psychological we are not always in control of our faculties depending on what's wrong with a person. You have to keep that in mind. People get angry. It's a normal emotion in life. It happens for various reasons. Sometimes we don't always know the reasons. But generally if all is well most don't get angry.
 
MarciKS said:
Sometimes regardless of whether it be physical or psychological we are not always in control of our faculties depending on what's wrong with a person. You have to keep that in mind. People get angry. It's a normal emotion in life. It happens for various reasons. Sometimes we don't always know the reasons. But generally if all is well most don't get angry.
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In some cases, of course you are right....but I also think many overreact due to lack of control or self-disciple and introspection. . I think it is just good to keep in mind we do have control over our thoughts, attitudes and therefore reactions unless there is a physiological condition involved.. We may not be 100% successful but for the most part, we can usually do better.
 
Rosemarie said:
It's hardly surprising if people are getting 'snappy' in the present situation. Families are being forced to spend more time together, and all the little irritations are multiplied.
If you mean in general, again, it's understandable. When both partners are involved with work and bringing up a family, they can tolerate each others differences. When the children have grown up and both are retired, those differences can seem so much worse.
It's a fact that divorce is common among older couples, and it's easy to see why. Especially if there is the prospect of becoming an unpaid carer to someone you no longer love.
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That is interesting..I was never aware older couples' divorce rates were higher..
 
There is a remedy for older people getting a bit crabby with each other.

1, Close the curtains.
2. Clear all tables and chairs etc from the middle of the room.
3. Get two big tubs of chocolate 'Smarties'.
4. Both completely strip off and sit cross legged on the carpet, facing each other about 5ft apart.
5. Now flick smarties at each other while trying to catch them in your mouths.
If you are grinning, stop it, this is serious.
6. Now, both get on hands and knees and pick up (with your teeth only) any Smarties on the carpet.
Giving each other a gentle slap on the bum is allowed at this point.
7. Now, still nude, both sit on the couch and start to watch TV, then see what happens after that. ;):)
 
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Nathan said:
"Elderly" might not be a factor, perhaps just the way that relationship has evolved.
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I think Nathan has a point.
In my case I am far from wanting to give up my interest in our home. I love to putter in the yard and thinking of new ideas for around the house.
The hubby just gave it all up. He is perfectly content to just sit. He has no interest in our home at all. He has no major health issues, is not depressed and finically we can afford to spruce up the place a bit.
Up until a few years ago we were on the same wave length.
His dad did the same thing.
I try to do my own thing but there are times when I need some input or a helping hand.
Usually his response is," its fine the way it is."
I try very hard not to snap but it is difficult especially since my dad was just the opposite. Everything was in tip top shape inside and out and he was that way until 6 months before he passed away.
 


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