Elderly attitudes

It depends on the people themselves. Different personalities will have different "chemistry", and that can change over time. I don't know how something so individual an be considered typical.

Tony
Tony's reply certainly resonates. You couldn't say that I am an alpha male but I have spent a lifetime in charge of working people, hard working people, who won't take any sort of nonsense, but if I didn't assert myself they would have walked all over me.
At home, if something trivial arose that caused me to flare up, she might say: "You're not at work now, nor am I one of your minions." To which I would concede and calm down.

My wife spent over thirty years as a paramedic, she too quickly learned to be assertive and, inevitably, brought that assertion home. Trivial things would cause her to get uncharacteristically annoyed and retaliate, to which I would say, "hold on, it's me you're talking to." It would be her turn to admit that she's had a tough day but that was no reason to snap.

You have to talk it out, especially when it gets to a point of sullen silence. We are far from perfect, but what we do is the opposite of falling out. I will buy her flowers when she least expects it, she has left a new shirt that she has made for me, laying on the bed.

I hope that this is not too much information, but remain lovers, I mean physically. We use language like: "Can you be wooed?" As a euphemism for intimacy. Love making has always put the world to rights. But of course it's a case of, each to their own. Perhaps that's why we are still married almost fifty three years on, even without the glue of children & grandchildren.
 
I read once quite some time ago (seems everything is quite some time ago these "daze") that we are a neurotic society and that in the future (meaning now . . . ) psychotic would be the norm. Considering the events of the last few years . . . uh, Yeah.
I think that was Isaac Asimov that said that, wasn't it? IIRC, and if it was him that said it, he said it sometime in the 70s and estimated that almost everyone would be psychotic in about 30 years from then, so we're already past the point.
 
What I've found helpful here lately, when Huzz says something I can't stand, I pretend that I'm an in-home caretaker for a mean old man, one whom I don't care what he thinks since this is just a job, and I just need to keep my mouth shut & nod or else only say stuff like, "Yeah" or "I know" or else I'll get fired. It's been helping me keep my temper; I've tried other stuff, reasoning with him, etc. but this is the only thing that works.
 
What I've found helpful here lately, when Huzz says something I can't stand, I pretend that I'm an in-home caretan I not love youaker for a mean old man, one whom I don't care what he thinks since this is just a job, and I just need to keep my mouth shut & nod or else only say stuff like, "Yeah" or "I know" or else I'll get fired. It's been helping me keep my temper; I've tried other stuff, reasoning with him, etc. but this is the only thing that works.
You've been eavesdropping. When I get called by some insult or other, she just melts when I respond with: "Yep, I'm the same." She might say an insulting endearment, (is there such a thing?) "Oh you lovable old fart, how can I not love you?" That's when I will tease her with something like, "when you can't afford it!" Usually that will result in a playful slap, but it has broken the friction and we are talking again.
 
I think Nathan has a point.
In my case I am far from wanting to give up my interest in our home. I love to putter in the yard and thinking of new ideas for around the house.
The hubby just gave it all up. He is perfectly content to just sit. He has no interest in our home at all. He has no major health issues, is not depressed and finically we can afford to spruce up the place a bit.
Up until a few years ago we were on the same wave length.
His dad did the same thing.
I try to do my own thing but there are times when I need some input or a helping hand.
Usually his response is," its fine the way it is."
I try very hard not to snap but it is difficult especially since my dad was just the opposite. Everything was in tip top shape inside and out and he was that way until 6 months before he passed away.
Good reply šŸ˜Š
 
I didn't say divorce rates are higher, I said it's common. Of course, older people are more likely to be actually married rather than just living together.
When asked if she would ever marry again if I died and made her a widow. My wife just smiled and said: "No, I don't think so."
Our friends thought that so romantic. "Romance has nothing to do with it," my wife retorted, adding: "I just couldn't face all that training again."
 

Dana

Member
It's pretty much a given that if you spend years with a partner you'll end up bickering at some pointā€¦itā€™s normal. If you never snap beware, you may be holding things in, which can result in a stomach ulcer later. However, if the bickering occurs more often than agreement, there are some big issues that need to be addressed.

If bickering leads to calling each other names or if you avoid certain topics because you know it will lead to arguments, that's a problem. Constant bickering between an elderly couple can lead to all sorts of health problemsā€¦I urge anyone who has to put up with this to speak to someone who can hel
p.

Personally, hubby and I donā€™t bicker, I sometimes snap at him, a rare thing, then throw a dishcloth and he looks at me with those eyes and I fall in love all over again ā¤ļøā¤ļø
 

Serenity4321

Member
Location
Florida
When asked if she would ever marry again if I died and made her a widow. My wife just smiled and said: "No, I don't think so."
Our friends thought that so romantic. "Romance has nothing to do with it," my wife retorted, adding: "I just couldn't face all that training again."
LOL well she has a good sense of humor, doesn't she. That is soooooooo very important IMO
 

timoc

Member
Location
UK
A young fella asked me, "Why do old blokes like you, when you're talking to young guys like me always start a sentence with In my day?"
"Well young man", I replied, "In my day, older folk always said in my day, but you can't say in my day because you've only been in this world for a bit over five minutes, so fast forward fifty years and you may just hear yourself saying in my day.
"Thick as pigs**t some of these youngsters." :LOL:
 


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