When someone is mean dont listen, when someone is rude walk away,....

That's easy to say. :giggle: In the virtual world it's easy to do this. Just go and forget the nastiness. In the real world it's tougher, more confrontational. You have to face up, give answers.
 
chic said:
That's easy to say. :giggle: In the virtual world it's easy to do this. Just go and forget the nastiness. In the real world it's tougher, more confrontational. You have to face up, give answers.
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Hmmm, and the person I referred to in the OP deserves being told they are behaving like a hypocrite dont they, inner peace or no inner peace, but I think we'd agree that yes there is something to be said for walking away too very often. :unsure::whistle::rolleyes:
 

grahamg said:

When someone is mean dont listen, when someone is rude walk away,....​

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Whenever I have my wits about me I do react in this (or some similar) fashion. If I feel it's necessary to pay them back I find that smiling or laughing is good enough. If it is someone I see often (as a neighbour) I just won't greet them anymore. I actually have a neighbour like that living in the same building. I don't say hello to her anymore but when I am in a position to hold the door for her, I do. There is one other neighbour across the road who I ignore completely. I treat EVERYONE pleasantly until they have been rude. If they've done that then they no longer exist.
 
timoc said:
My mother had a 'look' that could carve stone and I inherited that look and I only use it with someone is getting on my wick. It usually works. :)
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My wife has a VERY STERN face and people nearly collapse when she finally smiles and they realize how sweet and charming she is. Our rude neighbours have never seen her smile and you can believe me when I tell you that they freeze with terror whenever they see my wife approaching.
 
grahamg said:
I found this saying on another social media platform recently, (oddly enough, posted by someone who had just been quite mean to my good self!!! ): ).

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I try so hard, Graham, but there are times where I feel standing up to someone sticking their nose where it doesn't belong, is in order.

One such occasion was where I was confronted by a lady, a customer at the supermarket where I shop. She wasn't happy with the way I was selecting dinner rolls from the showcase, informing me that I should go easier with the tongs.

I stood up momentarily, told her she should apply at NASA, then resumed my hunt for the perfect dinner rolls.

For me, standing up to people (some people) is worth it. It can sometimes mean the difference between having a bad day or a good day. :)
 
Because any kind of stress can worsen my shaking, no matter the meanness or rudeness I may be put through, I do not react because reacting will increase it. But as a young teenager, before my Essential tremor neurological shaking became as bad as it is now, there was a time when I was with my girlfriend outside her home and I heard her baby brother crying & crying inside her house. I commented, Your brother sure cries allot. And bam! she slapped me. And without EVEN THINKING, I slugged the side of her jaw. And the hair pulling was on. lol All through the 'fight' it seemed pointless to me. I was't even angry, but I wasn't gonna let her get the best of me. Our fight started in daylight & it wasn't until evening that her mother came out and told us to stop. I got up from straddling my friend and she huffed off into her house saying, "You're gonna pay for this dress."
lol It was all so pointless/silly.
 
"And if they stare
Just let them burn their eyes
On you moving.
And if they shout
Don't let it change a thing
That you're doing.
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head up, oh
Hold your head high . . . "
 
Let's have another way of looking at this shall we(?).

"When someone is mean, tell them they're being mean or unfair"!

"When someone is rude, tell them it doesn't make them appear smart or strong in your view"!

"When someone tries to put you down put them straight in a matter of fact way, (or stay firm in this way)"!

"In this way you'll stop someone's bad behaviour destroying your inner peace, and the world will perhaps be a better place for all"!
 
When someone is an SOB at work or in your family you are trapped. You need a job and you're stuck with your family. Being retired and independent minded though, you have the luxury to just step away from all that.
 
grahamg said:
Let's have another way of looking at this shall we(?).

"When someone is mean, tell them they're being mean or unfair"!

"When someone is rude, tell them it doesn't make them appear smart or strong in your view"!

"When someone tries to put you down put them straight in a matter of fact way, (or stay firm in this way)"!

"In this way you'll stop someone's bad behaviour destroying your inner peace, and the world will perhaps be a better place for all"!
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I prefer to not engage.
 
When someone is being a douchebag, take a video of them and post it on YouTube! And if they're providing a service to you, report them to their managers and make a comment about them on Yelp or Google comments, whatever that's called.
 
Chet said:
When someone is an SOB at work or in your family you are trapped. You need a job and you're stuck with your family. Being retired and independent minded though, you have the luxury to just step away from all that.
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When it's people from work I don't let it bug me as much anymore cuz I've found ways to be an ahole and they're figuring this out and being nicer to me. *Grins*
 
MarciKS said:
When it's people from work I don't let it bug me as much anymore cuz I've found ways to be an ahole and they're figuring this out and being nicer to me. *Grins*
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Mmmmm, I agree we do make allowances, and maybe at work more so, rather than battle whatever it is out with them face to face, hence OP sayings perhaps are applicable very often though you lose the satisfaction of feeling you've basically put someone straight.

One of my "so called friends" is guilty I feel of giving you too many put downs, flooding you with uncalled for advice etc., almost whenever you open your mouth, (he has a better side thankfully!). Yesterday I did react when I felt he used one of his put downs, telling me I was being argumentative or something like that, and for once I responded by telling him he was being argumentative too!

Life isn't going so smoothly for him right now, as he's in the throes of sorting out his divorce, and this has become a much more hurried and pressurised process than when I divorced thirty years ago, so he may be showing his less appealing side because of this.

Our argument yesterday ended by him stating he didn't want to fall out with me, (again let's admit), and he went on to show the frustrations he's feeling generally in his life.
Later when I phoned him in the afternoon he appeared to me to be "reverting to type" unfortunately, trying to dominate everything in a maybe childish way, but Rome wasn't built in a day, and putting him straight in a minor way occasionally is necessary I feel. :)
 
Irwin said:
When someone is being a douchebag, take a video of them and post it on YouTube! And if they're providing a service to you, report them to their managers and make a comment about them on Yelp or Google comments, whatever that's called.
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"Or tell them once in a while perhaps", (or is that too awkward in your country nowadays?)?
 
SetWave said:
I prefer to not engage.
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I think most of us do most of the time, and I know it can wind folks up better than reacting to their bad behaviour very often, but, (there's always a "BUT" isn't there!), spending all your life backing away from all conflict isn't a recipee for a happy life either is it(?). :(
 
If possible, the best thing to do is show you don't care.....and actually, if you're someone who tends to get picked on, after a while, you really stop caring what others think.
There is another thread here about introverts. Noisy, empty-headed extroverts are often intimidated by quiet people, and their reaction is to turn nasty. You have to use psychology. 'Ignore them and they'll go away', is good advice. A silent stare is more effective than getting het-up.
Then go and have a private laugh!
 
This song came to mind in relation to this thread, (not sure if its entirely relevant but does talk of walking away doesn't it):

All I can ever be to you
Is a darkness that we know
And this regret I got accustomed to
Once it was so right
When we were at our high
Waiting for you in the hotel at night

I knew I hadn't met my match
But every moment we could snatch
I don't know why I got so attached
It's my responsibility
And you don't owe nothing to me
But to walk away I have no capacity

He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day, but I'm grown
And in your way
In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own

I don't understand
Why do I stress the man?
When there's so many bigger things at hand
We coulda never had it all
We had to hit a wall
So this is inevitable withdrawal

Even if I stopped wanting you
A perspective pushes through
I'll be some next man's other woman soon
I cannot play myself…


 
terry123 said:
When someone shows you who they are, believe them and forget them. I don't engage in conversation or anything else. They don't matter to me anymore.
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Like this?

Walk Away

Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
I guess I should've known better
To believe that my luck had changed (Luck had changed, ooh)
I let my heart and forever
Finally learn each other's name (Each other's name)
I tell myself this time is different
No goodbyes 'cause I can bear to say it
I'll never survive the ones that's coming
If I stay (If I stay), oh no

Just walk away
And don't look back
'Cause if my heart breaks
It's gonna hurt so bad
You know I'm strong
But I can't take that
Before it's too late
Oh, just walk away
Walk, walk, walk away
Ooh, just walk away
Walk, walk, walk away

Yeah, yeah, yeah
I really wish I could blame you
But I know that it's no one's fault (No one's fault, no no, ooh)
A Cinderella with no shoe
And a prince that doesn't know he's lost (Know he's lost)…


Not this?

Just Walk Away

I know I never loved this way before
And no one else has loved me more
With you I've laughed and cried
I have lived and died
What I wouldn't do just to be with you

I know I must forget you and go on
I can't hold back my tears too long
Though life won't be the same
I've got to take the blame
And find the strength I need to let you go

Just walk away
Just say goodbye
Don't turn around now you may see me cry
I mustn't fall apart
Or show my broken heart
Or the love I feel for you

So walk away
And close the door
And let my life be as it was before
And I'll never never know
Just how I let you go
But there's nothing left to say
Just walk away

There'll never be a moment I'll regret
I've loved you since the day we met
For all the love you gave
And all the love we made
I know I've got to find the strength to say

Just walk away
Just say goodbye
Don't turn around now you may see me cry
I mustn't fall apart
Or show my broken heart
Or the love I feel for you

So walk away
And close the door
And let my life be as it was before
And I'll never never know
Just how I let you go
But there's nothing left to say
Just walk away

 

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