Nephew has milked his uncle for over $10,000...

IrisSenior

IrisSenior

Senior Member
Location
Ontario, Canada
This has happened over the last 10 years when nephew took a "line of credit" card from his uncle. My daughter was able to access the bank account and the withdrawals all lead to my nephew's place of work (Walmart) and she talked to the collection agency and with interest and withdrawals it is over $15,000. Collection agency will accept $9,000 to close. My brother has slowly been taken down by dementia and obviously doesn't know anything about his financial state. Withdrawals stopped in April 2020. I don't know what to say to my nephew without getting angry and my daughter doesn't want to be the one to tell him that we know what he did.

No, nephew will not be able to pay back the money as he is single and Walmart doesn't pay much. So...any thoughts as to what I should say?
 

IrisSenior said:
This has happened over the last 10 years when nephew took a "line of credit" card from his uncle. My daughter was able to access the bank account and the withdrawals all lead to my nephew's place of work (Walmart) and she talked to the collection agency and with interest and withdrawals it is over $15,000. Collection agency will accept $9,000 to close. My brother has slowly been taken down by dementia and obviously doesn't know anything about his financial state. Withdrawals stopped in April 2020. I don't know what to say to my nephew without getting angry and my daughter doesn't want to be the one to tell him that we know what he did.

No, nephew will not be able to pay back the money as he is single and Walmart doesn't pay much. So...any thoughts as to what I should say?
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How I wish that the line of credit card had been frozen/locked by the family so that it would be of no use. I'm so sorry about your brother. I've been on that road (Dementia) with Mom.
 

Would your brother have given this LOC card to his son with permission to use it? Can your brother afford to pay off the bill, even if he doesn’t realize what’s going on? If he can, pay the $9000 and burn the card?

The key thing is that his POA for finances get things under control right away. I do hope that person isn’t his son. Are there any other siblings that can take over.

Once control of your brother’s finances are established, just state - don’t fight - that the card is gone and no further money will be coming to the nephew for his immediate use.
 
PamfromTx said:
How I wish that the line of credit card had been frozen/locked by the family so that it would be of no use. I'm so sorry about your brother. I've been on that road (Dementia) with Mom.
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The problem is my brother doesn't remember that far back and daughter and I haven't decided if we will tell him. The card was cancelled by the bank in April 2020 and nephew could not use it anymore.
 
Jules said:
Would your brother have given this LOC card to his son with permission to use it? Can your brother afford to pay off the bill, even if he doesn’t realize what’s going on? If he can, pay the $9000 and burn the card?

The key thing is that his POA for finances get things under control right away. I do hope that person isn’t his son. Are there any other siblings that can take over.

Once control of your brother’s finances are established, just state - don’t fight - that the card is gone and no further money will be coming to the nephew for his immediate use.
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Like I said to PamfromTx that brother does remember whether he gave the card to his nephew or if nephew took it. I will be taking care of his finances. No, brother cannot pay the money - I will be paying it.
 
If the card is in the uncle's name, I would pursue criminal charges against the nephew and let the court system sort it out.

If the card is in the nephew's name as an authorized user or if you don't have the appetite to pursue criminal charges I wouldn't say anything.

If your brother is not in a position to pay the charges then I would let the card company pursue collection against him and ultimately write it off as a bad debt. I would not assume responsibility for the debt myself. Save your money, you made need it at some point to provide financial assistance to your brother.

Good luck to you and your family.
 
IrisSenior said:
Like I said to PamfromTx that brother does remember whether he gave the card to his nephew or if nephew took it. I will be taking care of his finances. No, brother cannot pay the money - I will be paying it.
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I don't understand why you're planning to pay this. If your brother can't afford the $9,000, the bank will need to write it off. If he has assets the bank may attach them and get paid when the assets are sold or your brother dies.

If this has been happening over the course of ten years, it may well be that your brother willingly provided his nephew with the line of credit and your nephew took advantage of his uncle's disability.
 
Seems like you need some actual legal advice. It’s so wrong that you have to pay the $9000. If there’s nothing for the creditors to come for from your brother, how will it harm him not to have the debt paid? If he doesn’t have much except his pension, the care home charges less.

Your nephew may have been given the card by your brother and like many didn’t have any financial sense. He just used it like his own.

Years ago my ex’s gave their son access to a card. He eventually quit using it, after I’d make the payments. He felt it was his right.
 
p.s. My guess is that the collection agency will accept far less than $9000 if it appears they'll have to wait years to see anything - and even then it would be a crap shoot.
 
i think i'd let moocher know right now that you KNOW what he did and are prepared to try to fix things. did mooch do anything illegal/criminal? as you tell him you KNOW what he's doing, tell him you're following thru with cops/courts. then DO IT!
 
Aunt Bea said:
If the card is in the uncle's name...

[and he's] not in a position to pay the charges then I would let the card company pursue collection against him and ultimately write it off as a bad debt. I would not assume responsibility for the debt myself. Save your money, you made need it at some point to provide financial assistance to your brother.
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Yes, I think you should do that, Iris. The debt would stay in collections for 7 years and then go away. Unless your uncle plans to make a major purchase, like a new car or a house, doing it that way isn't gonna hurt him.
 
Without more information on whether the uncle originally gave his OK for this to continue like it has it's difficult to know what to do. One thing for sure, someone must have a blunt conversion with the nephew and soon to get to the bottom of this. The nephew should pay the bill, his low paying job notwithstanding. If it takes him longer, it takes him longer, it's his obligation and he needs to make it good.
 
IrisSenior said:
This has happened over the last 10 years when nephew took a "line of credit" card from his uncle. My daughter was able to access the bank account and the withdrawals all lead to my nephew's place of work (Walmart) and she talked to the collection agency and with interest and withdrawals it is over $15,000. Collection agency will accept $9,000 to close. My brother has slowly been taken down by dementia and obviously doesn't know anything about his financial state. Withdrawals stopped in April 2020. I don't know what to say to my nephew without getting angry and my daughter doesn't want to be the one to tell him that we know what he did.

No, nephew will not be able to pay back the money as he is single and Walmart doesn't pay much. So...any thoughts as to what I should say?
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Nephew would definitely pay. Even if he paid a small amount each month. If he gets off, who will be his next victim in the family??
 
StarSong said:
I don't understand why you're planning to pay this. If your brother can't afford the $9,000, the bank will need to write it off. If he has assets the bank may attach them and get paid when the assets are sold or your brother dies.

If this has been happening over the course of ten years, it may well be that your brother willingly provided his nephew with the line of credit and your nephew took advantage of his uncle's disability.
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The $9,000 won't go away - they will try and seize his condo and he will not have any other place to live. Another brother and sister live with them.
 
digifoss said:
Without more information on whether the uncle originally gave his OK for this to continue like it has it's difficult to know what to do. One thing for sure, someone must have a blunt conversion with the nephew and soon to get to the bottom of this. The nephew should pay the bill, his low paying job notwithstanding. If it takes him longer, it takes him longer, it's his obligation and he needs to make it good.
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I agree, he will pay in the long run.
 
I would get an attorney who specializes in senior’s issues. We have them here in PA. They are really good at what they do. In this case, I would guess that the attorney would only give you guidance. If that doesn’t suit you, at least have a conversation with him and let him know that you think he is a real low-life and lucky you have decided to keep him out of prison, or haven’t you?
 
IrisSenior said:
The $9,000 won't go away - they will try and seize his condo and he will not have any other place to live. Another brother and sister live with them.
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It’s unfortunate that you will be fronting the $9000 to help all of them. Since your nephew can’t do any more financial harm at this point and your daughter as the POA doesn‘t want to say anything, let it go for now. Other than allowing you to vent against him, will it help the family dynamics. If he starts to ask for other things, that’s the time to clear the air. Since he seems like a spoiled brat, you never know if he’ll reject his dad. JMO.

You will get your money back then. I presume you can make the payment with a caveat that it has to be paid back first. (Do you need to put a lien against the condo now.)

You’re a very good sister!
 

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