Are You Judgemental?

Serenity4321 said:
I believe the fact you recognize it as being unfortunate, says good things about you :) ---plus of course your willingness to work on it...
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Well thank you. With how judgmental I was, change actually is very easy. In the last few months my entire life has changed drastically and I’m learning so much. My perception about my world is completely MY RESPONSIBILITY and I realized that I’d much rather have a healthy outlook on life than a negative sarcastic one.
An attitude with gratitude changes everything so I’m more than willing to work on this.
 
Aunt Bea said:
IMO we all make a thousand little judgments every time we see someone or something as we go about our daily lives.

One of mine is judging the groceries I see in people’s carts or on the conveyor belt at the checkout.

IMO it’s normal and harmless until you start sharing those observations in ways that influence other peoples opinions.
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I should have better defined what I meant by judgements ..because it's true we make many judgements. I am thinking more of being critical over facts that are not really a moral issue or something that doesn't really affect us. I am still having problems explaining what I mean..sorry
I think I'll edit the OP with that

Your noticing others groceries reminds me of what has happened to me more than once. I see in another cart an item I need and forgot to pick up :confused:
 

Keesha said:
Well thank you. With how judgmental I was, change actually is very easy. In the last few months my entire life has changed drastically and I’m learning so much. My perception about my world is completely MY RESPONSIBILITY and I realized that I’d much rather have a healthy outlook on life than a negative sarcastic one.
An attitude with gratitude changes everything so I’m more than willing to work on this.
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If you care to share I would love to hear what is different in your life in the last few months to cause this awesome positive attitude...I TOTALLY agree with you and gratitude and forgiveness (for self and others) is often a turning point..it was for me :)
 
Aunt Marg said:
I most definitely am, Serenity.

I'm old-school/old-fashioned to the bone, so in keeping with my staunch and anal ways, I tend to be critical of many of today's ways.

Like yourself, tattoos, piercings all over, unkempt appearances and hygiene, oh yes, very judgmental of such I am.

Otherwise, and for the most part, so long as people leave me alone and give me a wide berth, I'm good, and the more I'm at home and away from others, I'm even better.
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LOL well isolation helps I suppose... 😀 There are some of 'today's ways' that I don't consider anything 'wrong' with criticizing...in fact it would be a service to do so...
 
Serenity4321 said:
If you care to share I would love to hear what is different in your life in the last few months to cause this awesome positive attitude...I TOTALLY agree with you and gratitude and forgiveness (for self and others) is often a turning point..it was for me :)
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Well...... I decided to forgive everyone in my life including myself for any perceived wrong doings
Sold our house of almost 25 years for about 25% more than it was worth due to it being a sellers market
Talked my husband into retiring 2 plus years earlier than he needed to
Bought a nicer house out east for 1/2 the price and 25 times the land
Paid off all our debts & are currently mortgage free
Started studying stoicism, eating better and exercising daily
Go for a walk with my husband and our dogs every single morning except when he’s fishing
🥰
 
Keesha said:
Well...... I decided to forgive everyone in my life including myself for any perceived wrong doings
Sold our house of almost 25 years for about 25% more than it was worth due to it being a sellers market
Talked my husband into retiring 2 plus years earlier than he needed to
Bought a nicer house out east for 1/2 the price and 25 times the land
Paid off all our debts & are currently mortgage free
Started studying stoicism, eating better and exercising daily
Go for a walk with my husband and our dogs every single morning except when he’s fishing
🥰
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Congrats!! You are living a great life and I am delighted to hear of your joy! Your first sentence says volumes..Good for you!!!🌹
 
jujube said:
I try not to be judgmental, but I sometimes fail. I try to live a life of "live and let live" but I'm guilty of looking at some people and saying (mentally, of course) "WHAT THE HECK WAS HE/SHE THINKING???"
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Sounds normal to me:)...again 'trying' is the key...
 
chic said:
I don't judge people's behavior which is more important to me than what they look like. But I do have trouble getting past all the tattooing that is considered the norm these days. So I guess in the spirit which the OP posted this I must be judgemental.
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The fact you do not judge behavior to me is far more important than your opinion of tattoos:)
 
welllllllllllllllllll now if you're gonna walk past me like this gal did today in bright blue hair that makes you look like a clown...i'm gonna be having some judgmental thoughts. cuz it looks stupid. and it was an employee so to me it's highly inappropriate. i don't tell her that but if i could i would. lol!

i try to give everyone a chance. but the way things are today it's getting harder.
 
I'm actually less judgmental now than I was when I was younger. I tended then to see things in black-and-white terms whereas now it's in shades of gray. This is perhaps a function of life experiences, and a realization that other people may operate on a different wavelength than myself. I can't control how they think and feel, but only how I respond to them...
 
Serenity4321 said:
Is it important to you to try to be non-judgemental?? I am thinking about both appearance and behavior. I am still working on not being repulsed by body piercings and some tattoos. I still haven't figured out why I am, and really want to get to a place that I can accept and look at the piercings and accept it is their body and their right. I also tend to judge on appearance but only that which one can easily manage..like nice clean combed hair. Behavior - I am trying to accept that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know...
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I understand very well what you mean and I understand your concern about being judgemental. I have the same "problem" ... if it is a problem. Would you stand near a lion's cage or stick your arm through the bars? Would you take the advice on healthy living from a chain-smoker? Would you like for your daughter to have a romantic relationship with a full-face tattooed man? Would you go to the cinema with someone who you know talks a lot during the film - why not - because they are a distraction? So how can you be expected to listen intently to someone's words if their lips are flapping two pounds of metal studs?

Don't feel guilty about your critical judgment. I was traveling to work on the U-Bahn in Berlin when the punk movement had just started - I think it was 1978. These punkers came in and sat across from me. The girl had her hair dyed left side pink, right side green. It was the first time I'd seen anything like that. She saw me looking at her and said, "What the f* are you looking at!" well, in German I mean. I made no reply but I was thinking to myself, "Does she or does she not expect/want people to look at her?" That's the problem, you see.

A person who is blind or missing his/her legs or has a large tumour on the nose can't help it. But someone who intentionally disfigures him-herself is a different matter. How can we not wonder about their personal character? Doing so is being judgemental? Look, I can't take a woman seriously who is staggering along wearing stiletto shoes while there are people with foot deformities, varicose veins, knee prosthesis (like myself), multiple sclerosis, and a number of other physical deficiencies.

So yes, "it is their body and their right" (as you say) but must we question our "right" to form opinions based on other's visual presence? I don't, and I don't think you need to either.
 

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