Are you positive that you enjoy being negative?

Someone who is positive all the time would never admit to problems and think everything was perfectly wonderful, when it was not. A nice well-to-do lady with a positive attitude might tell herself that her black maid liked working late for her cocktail party and doesn't really mind missing her son's graduation. A positive doctor might tell himself that his women patients who complain of pain are just being dramatic and he should smile and send them home with a placebo. A positive person will go online and give that doctor a five star review for doing his very best.

Being positive all the time means critical thinking is out the window and we should be happy with all government leaders, never seeking change or improvement, because everything is just hunkey dorey as it is, right?
 
Della said:
Someone who is positive all the time would never admit to problems and think everything was perfectly wonderful, when it was not. A nice well-to-do lady with a positive attitude might tell herself that her black maid liked working late for her cocktail party and doesn't really mind missing her son's graduation. A positive doctor might tell himself that his women patients who complain of pain are just being dramatic and he should smile and send them home with a placebo. A positive person will go online and give that doctor a five star review for doing his very best.

Being positive all the time means critical thinking is out the window and we should be happy with all government leaders, never seeking change or improvement, because everything is just hunkey dorey as it is, right?
Click to expand...
Della you make good points some of which i was prepared to make till i read the two lists carefully because I'm keenly aware of the reality of toxic positivity. A lot of people have an over simplified view of 'positive thinking'. It is not about painting silver lining around every cloud or accepting everything that happens has some purpose. It is about feeling what you feel about things but caring what others feel as well; about trusting that thru critical thinkng AND respect for the feelings and well-being of others, you can find fair and equitable solutions.
 
Last edited:
This may sound like an oxymoron but i lean toward positive consciousness BECAUSE i've battled depression since age 11. I've read Peale's classic on the subject as well as a ton of self help, psychology and 'new age' stuff.

It is unwise to surpress any emotion, and suppressing negative feelings like grief, frustration and yes even anger is counter productive because they will fester inside and make finding your way out of that state harder no matter how much you insist 'it is all good'. The first step to working thru things is to be honest, at least with yourself about what you feel.

Then figure out what you can do about what brought it on. Sometimes that involves actions. Sometimes, with grief over a death in particular, it involves feeling it and realizing that it is complex, layered and even when you think you've fully accepted the loss you may be triggered by words or incidents to feel the loss anew.

Paraphrasing James Baldwin while not everything that is acknowledged can be fixed, we can't fix anything without acknowledging the reality of the situation. While on the surface it may seem 'negative' to do so it is really the best course of action: Identifying the problem is the first step to finding solutions.
 
Liberty said:
This girl is incredible. Wonderful singer, dying from cancer, and this interview shows how positive she is about life today:

https://www.cnn.com/videos/entertainment/2021/08/05/jane-marczewski-nightbirde-cancer-agt-cpt-vpx.cn
Click to expand...
Have seen the clip before. It is heartwrenching as well as uplifting because this is the kind of person the world needs more of, but will pobably lose her before long.

I have sat with more than one terminally ill person. I've comforted families. Not with platitudes about the ill person 'going to a better place' but by listening to them, encouraging them to own ALL their feelings about what is happening and by asking 'What can i do to lighten your load?'. As a result i've cleaned houses and occupied grandchildren, letting them talk freely if old enough to understand and allowing them to grieve as they need.
 
I've noticed that people who are negative LOVE being that way!
Something about being sad and moody or complaining, gossipy, angry, they seem to really enjoy!
Then they look at you to make sure you agree and feel the same way.
When you don't, they come unglued! They have no desire to change and be happy!
Most strange!
 
Last edited:
feywon said:
Della you make good points some of which i was prepared to make till i read the two lists carefully because I'm keenly aware of the reality of toxic positivity. A lot of people have an over simplified view of 'positive thinking'. It is not about painting silver lining around every cloud or accepting everything that happens has some purpose. It is about feeling what you feel about things but caring what others feel as well; about trusting that thru critical thinkng AND respect for the feelings and well-being of others, you can find fair and equitable solutions.
Click to expand...
Great points; a great book on the subject: Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America by Barbara Ehrenreich (one of my favorite writers).
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top