Symptoms of Dying

Mitch86

Mitch86

Member
Location
Connecticut, USA
I'm 86 and have no terminal illness. However, I find it hard to move feet, legs and arms with terrible pain there and in my lower back. Breathing is getting difficult. I can barely hold a glass of water. I cannot lift a pitcher of water at all. At times it gets very difficult to get out of bed. My neck is bent at 45 degrees from osteoporosis. My geriatrician prescribed Tylenol/Codeine for the pain in my legs and feet but I have not started using those pills yet. I'm afraid, if I start to use them, I'll be hooked on morphine soon. I was in Hospice in October, 2018, after my primary at the time thought I was dying in her office and the hospice doctor concurred. They expected my weight to plunge and I would stop eating and drinking. Plus they expected me not to be able to get out of bed soon. However, that did not happen and they discharged me in 3 weeks. An X-ray of my back showed severe arthritis twisting my spine in the pelvic area. My neck is best at a 45 degree angle and it's getting difficult to drink liquids.

Are these the symptoms of someone who is dying? I've always thought that, when we die, we simply cease to exist. That would end the suffering, of course, but that means it will be like we never lived at all.
 

Mitch86 said:
I'm 86 and have no terminal illness. However, I find it hard to move feet, legs and arms with terrible pain there and in my lower back. Breathing is getting difficult. I can barely hold a glass of water. I cannot lift a pitcher of water at all. At times it gets very difficult to get out of bed. My neck is bent at 45 degrees from osteoporosis. My geriatrician prescribed Tylenol/Codeine for the pain in my legs and feet but I have not started using those pills yet. I'm afraid, if I start to use them, I'll be hooked on morphine soon. I was in Hospice in October, 2018, after my primary at the time thought I was dying in her office and the hospice doctor concurred. They expected my weight to plunge and I would stop eating and drinking. Plus they expected me not to be able to get out of bed soon. However, that did not happen and they discharged me in 3 weeks. An X-ray of my back showed severe arthritis twisting my spine in the pelvic area. My neck is best at a 45 degree angle and it's getting difficult to drink liquids.

Are these the symptoms of someone who is dying? I've always thought that, when we die, we simply cease to exist. That would end the suffering, of course, but that means it will be like we never lived at all.
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Again, I"m so sorry you are experiencing such pain and infirm Mitch! I can't say whether you are dying soon since it's been a few years and you didn't do what the doctors and hospice expected you would. I don't know if you have family but if you do and you've lived your life right, were kind and loving to people, your life will indeed have meant something and it won't be as if you never lived.
 
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@Mitch86, it's been my experience that doctors tend to overprescribe. I was hospitalized two years ago for facial cellulitis. Although it made me look like a monster, I wasn't experiencing any pain, whatsoever — not that I can recall, anyway. I didn't even want to go see a doctor, but my wife made me. While in the hospital, doctors offered me oxycodone and codeine, which I refused.

In my younger days, I would have taken both, just for kicks, but I also wound up with liver damage from all the drugs I did back then. Luckily, the liver is the one organ in the body that can regenerate itself.

Had I been in pain while in the hospital, I probably would have taken the opioids. I had to undergo a procedure for enlarged prostate last year and took a valium beforehand, which was enjoyable, like having a few drinks. It made me not care about what they were doing to me. :ROFLMAO:

Maybe you should try small dosages of codeine to see if it helps or maybe ask your doctor for a prescription for valium.
 
So sorry that you're suffering such pain Mitch...it's not something we would even allow our pets to suffer..

Altho' you haven't been diagnosed with a specific terminal illness, you know we're all terminal from the day we're born, and as we age many suffer worsening pain...it's not the right way, it shouldn't happen, but it often does, and I can imagine how depressing it must be for you to suffer each day... but I urge you to start to take your morphine.. if nothing else, it will help to give you a better quality of life... my very best to you..
 
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Mitch, I'm only going to picture your suffering and wonder if you have a stubborn streak. Sometimes being stubborn is an excellent outlook. I always plod along with the pain and don't like to take pain relief if I can stand it, but the pain just brings out all kinds of things (I guess) which keeps the pain train going and going.

Can you consider using a small dose of the pain meds the doctor provided? It would be a gift to your suffering body to have some relief. It is not a weakness of spirit to get a little or a lot of help now and then.

If you can barely lift the water pitcher, can you use the faucet water or is it nasty tasting? There are water bottles, lightweight, with a filter built in if that is an option. This would weigh much less than a pitcher.

Also, since your neck is bent, if you can still swallow with no struggles, could you use some of those bendy straws to drink through? Pop one in the glass and you can reach the straw much easier than trying to move your head and neck. What about using lightweight plastic drinking glasses?

I wish you all the best and hope you get some pain relief.

My personal belief is that when we die we are going to be free from pain, yes, but also a spirit who lives forever.
 
For what it's worth Mitch, My father, & my mother-in-law and her husband, my father-in-law, all three lived until their late nineties. At life's end, one thing that they all had in common was the way that their vital organs shut down, one by one.

From my perspective they all seemed aware that this was happening yet none of them were afraid. Afraid dying, afraid of meeting their maker or afraid of atoning their wrongdoings in life. On the contrary, they all had a kind of understanding of what was happening to them.

None of us will know when our time has come, so don't dwell on it. If the current US President has reached the top of the greasy pole at 78, it gives far lesser mortals like me, inspired hope. So enjoy your twilight years and don't even think about tomorrow.
 
Gary O' said:
If it were me, I'd be loading up on weed like no tomorrow
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Good advice because if one is dying, there just may not be any tomorrows left to get loaded. But if you think about it, the biggest symptom of dying is to be living. All of living eventually ends with dying. It's kind of like a process, I think.
 
I'm truly sorry you are going through this. You've lived a long time. Don't give up. Do the best you can. Take it day by day. Do what you can do get some pleasure out of your life. That's all any of us can do.

This is one of my favorite quotes:
“To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.”
~ Bessie Anderson Stanley
 
I had some thoughts that make me smile but I guess that the subject isn't one that lends itself to that sort of thing. If you're dying, I hope that you'll at least find something positive in the experience. If you're 86 you lived through a lot of good times. Maybe dwelling on a few of the better ones might do more than dwelling on any negative ones. Anyway, best of the rest to you.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas
 
hollydolly said:
that's been said already on this thread... however I think we should be sympathetic to Mitch's suffering, he's in a lot of pain , that's obvious, so if we can help with some suggestions on how he might live out his life without being in sooo much pain it will be of some use to him..
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Smiles do more to cheer me up than sympathies and pity. Maybe Mr Ed was just doing the best he could. I personally appreciate his candor. Mitch is pretty quiet, I wonder what he prefers? Mitch, old friend, are you following along?
 
@Mitch86, Those are not symptoms of the dying. They are symptoms of a life whose body has and is
taking a beating and refuses to give up, trying to keep on keeping on in spite of all the damage done to it
by disease. I would take the medicine. At our age, what's a little addiction if our doctors will prescribe it
and it helps us live more comfortable. I'm eighty-eighty with COPD and heart problems. I'd take what help I could get if it helps me. People who make light of your problems have never had to suffer like you have.
They don't know beans. I offer my sympathy and hope you get some help and relief soon. Best of luck, too.
 
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Hi @Mitch86 It is terrible to hurt all the time and for your body to not work as it once did.

However, what you describe in your original posts are not s/s of dying.

Does your area have palliative care? This is between home health and hospice. They still manage symptoms for best quality of life but you are not restricted to only comfort measures as with hospice (no curative or aggressive interventions). Maybe you could ask your MD about this.

Tylenol with Codeine is a looong way from Morphine... there are lots of options in between. If you begin taking the prescribed medication, keep a log of when you take it, what your pain level is when you took it, if it was effective and how long it managed your symptoms before you felt the need for more. This way your doctor has a documented trend of how this med is working and he can adjust as necessary.

I pray you get some relief and are able to make each day the best it can be.
 
Tylenol with Codeine stopped working as of yesterday. I tried two pills and I still had a pain explosion last night. I believe too much sleep exposes me to those explosions. I will try to stay up until midnight before I go to sleep. When I am busy at my PC in the daytime, I have very little pain. After I sleep for 3 to 4 hours I am woken by and explosion of pain. I will try to have my wife massage my feet and give me ice packs r when it happens. I will also try to stay up later to midnight keeping busy at my PC. Long sleep times yields terrible pain explosions. Short sleep time reduces those events.
 

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