Why do some people find pleasure in hurting other people's feelings?

CAKCy said:
Let's say that some people feel that they have been treated unjustly and because of their baggage or self-esteem cannon cope with the negativity coming from the other side.
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Then it's time for a single malt, a good cigar, and a lonnnnnng chat
 

CAKCy said:
Be kind! ;)
My face is a lot worse than that!
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LOL.
NOBODY'S face even comes close. It has nothing to do with "ugly." What's ugly is her hateful expression.
Her employees had to sign a waiver, acknowledging the risk of blindness if they looked at her.
 

CAKCy said:
That wasn't the reason of my post.
It wasn't a personal question.
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Oh I see. I will say, because they can. The jerks can tell who has tender feelings and do it for entertainment. They know who to let alone too. Otherwise they find living a caring life boring and find people trying to live a caring life to be a bunch of saps deserving of the misery jerks like themselves mete out. Hopefully, they slip up in time and end up warehoused with their own kind for a while therefore learning how it feels to be the sap and maybe wish for the old boring life of a decent citizen.
 
Shero said:
Where you see "evil" I see a woman in pain, fighting her own inner demons. Do not know who she is, did she kill someone?
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I'll bet she was in pain. No one forced her to look into a mirror.
Her "Inner Demons" were greed & theft & treating everyone like crap.

Leona Helmsley will always be remembered for one of the most arrogant statements ever uttered: "We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes." A touching sentiment from the New York hotel tycoon widely dubbed the "Queen of Mean" but not one shared by a jury of her peers. In 1989 Helmsley received 16 years in prison for a wide variety of tax offenses resulting in several million dollars owed. And in a fitting bit of chronology, the judge ordered her prison sentence to start on April 15 — Tax Day!
 
Judycat said:
Oh I see. I will say, because they can. The jerks can tell who has tender feelings and do it for entertainment. They know who to let alone too. Otherwise they find living a caring life boring and find people trying to live a caring life to be a bunch of saps deserving of the misery jerks like themselves mete out. Hopefully, they slip up in time and end up warehoused with their own kind for a while therefore learning how it feels to be the sap and maybe wish for the old boring life of a decent citizen.
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You consider meanness to be congenital?
 
win231 said:
I'll bet she was in pain. No one forced her to look into a mirror.
Her "Inner Demons" were greed & theft & treating everyone like crap.

Leona Helmsley will always be remembered for one of the most arrogant statements ever uttered: "We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes." A touching sentiment from the New York hotel tycoon widely dubbed the "Queen of Mean" but not one shared by a jury of her peers. In 1989 Helmsley received 16 years in prison for a wide variety of tax offenses resulting in several million dollars owed. And in a fitting bit of chronology, the judge ordered her prison sentence to start on April 15 — Tax Day!
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Just for the record a US President said something similar....
 
Some people are sociopaths. I figure all of them enjoy hurting people's feelings. Some of them focus on other things that give them more bang for the buck, but those things can hurt people's feelings too, even if that wasn't the sociopath's main goal - I'm pretty sure they don't care about hurting people's feelings. It really is no different than squashing a bug to them.

I remember being in the 2nd grade and telling a boy in my class that he looked like a green bean. I remember feeling mortified that I had blurted that out because it probably hurt his feelings. I apologized. I don't remember why I said it. Certainly he wasn't green, but he was skinny. But for years I felt badly about saying that to him.

A long time ago, my best friend was someone who was morbidly obese. She was 5' tall and weighed 330 lbs. She was afraid to go to restaurants because sometimes she couldn't fit into booths, or she ordered diet coke, and some people made loud comments. She had a particular restaurant she loved because they had the best catheads and gravy she'd ever tasted. So I persuaded her to let me go in and see whether she'd fit into the booth. I determined that she would, she bravely trusted me, and she did fit. Meanwhile, I was willing to go head to head with anyone who made nasty comments, and I had the opportunity a few times. Catheads are big biscuits.

After that, we went to more restaurants because for some odd reason I could always tell by looking that she'd fit in a booth.

Why were some people willing to hurt her feelings, in public? Because they were assholes, plain and simple. Why was I willing to confront those people, because they needed confronting. I enjoyed it. I wasn't rude, but I was determined that they understood what they do to people when they say horrible things to them. A couple of them actually apologized to her.
 
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CAKCy said:
Would it make it easier to cope with them as @Ladybj so brilliantly said earlier? If we think of their negativity is there due to their hurting inside shouldn't it make it easier for us to deal with them, with kindness instead of defensiveness?
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It does, yes. And if kindness doesn't alleviate the problem, ignoring the person is the best next-step.

But I wonder why some people get their feelings hurt so easily. Put another way, why do some people take mean words to heart? Maybe they're hurting inside, too.
 
Murrmurr said:
It does, yes. And if kindness doesn't alleviate the problem, ignoring the person is the best next-step.

But I wonder why some people get their feelings hurt so easily. Put another way, why do some people take mean words to heart? Maybe they're hurting inside, too.
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I would think that they, themselves, suffer from a hurt soul already, or low self-esteem, or bullying etc. and the words of others just reinforce the storm inside them already.
 
Why do some people find pleasure in hurting other people's feelings?

Some attention seekers who have nothing of value to add to a conversation, but still want to be part of the conversation, will resort to mindless stuff like gossip, lies, hurtful accusations, or the art of misunderstanding and twisting words to grab everyone's attention. Their rewards are followers of that train wreck. And surprisingly, there are usually followers.
 

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