Do you converse with store clerks and business people?

Irwin said:
No. I avoid people as much as possible and use the self-checkout at the grocery store. I'm a bitter old man.
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I know the feeling and just started using the self-checkout. I love it. I do say hello to everyone who looks in my direction though but keep conversations brief. Most of the time it's someone complaining about things at the store. I don't need that noise.
 

Judycat said:
I know the feeling and just started using the self-checkout. I love it. I do say hello to everyone who looks in my direction though but keep conversations brief. Most of the time it's someone complaining about things at the store. I don't need that noise.
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I think a lot of people just like to hear the sound of their own voice or they get a lot of pleasure from speaking. I think most people innately derive pleasure from speaking. There was a brief discussion about that in another thread, that our tendency to speak caused our (humans) communication skills to develop more extensively than other species, which is why we became the most fit species on earth, and the most destructive.

Personally, there are times when I really like to speak and other times, I'd rather not. Maybe it's a vitamin deficiency or something. :unsure:
 
Another explanation for people wanting to chit-chat is, they connect with other people, which stimulates the release of oxytocin in the brain and makes people feel good. But if you don't "connect," you don't get that oxytocin rush, so there's no motivation to do it. I sometimes feel obligated to chat if someone strikes up a conversation, but in my mind I'm thinking how much I want to get away from this person.
 
Irwin said:
I think a lot of people just like to hear the sound of their own voice or they get a lot of pleasure from speaking. I think most people innately derive pleasure from speaking. There was a brief discussion about that in another thread, that our tendency to speak caused our (humans) communication skills to develop more extensively than other species, which is why we became the most fit species on earth, and the most destructive.

Personally, there are times when I really like to speak and other times, I'd rather not. Maybe it's a vitamin deficiency or something. :unsure:
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I think it should be a matter of respecting another person's time and boundaries. Some talkers take liberties. I've already told someone that I didn't want to hear it and they proceeded to go into detail about something that upset me because they thought I needed to hear it. Grr.
 
I never used to chat with clerks, etc. It was a dumb thing to do. I found out so many cool things you would have never guessed. I just met a woman from Brazil, who married a 'Merikin', and moved to a country with different cultural traditions. One of the new traditions was saying "Thank you for your service" to veterans. That's kind of an American thing. And I had no idea Brazil was a tropical country, with days in the 100+ range. And she found out cool things about me.
All this while she racked up my grocery order.
 
Life is too short and it is getting even more as we age. Live life to its' fullest. I don't talk to these people unless I see that no one is behind me in line. I enjoy going to the stores right as they open; not too many people out that early. A niece works at TJMaxx and it is always good to see her; I saw her yesterday but I could see she was quite busy... so, I didn't bother her.
 
It wasn’t in the store, rather it was outside it while my husband waited for me on bench. He’s vey quiet but this lady (mid 80s) decided he was the perfect person to talk to, or at. At first I thought she knew him. Then I came out and we talked for another 20+ minutes.
 
I do once in awhile usually about how busy the store is or the weather.

This brought back memories. There was a very chatty lady who could chew your ear off for hours at a time if you were unlucky enough to be out in the yard at the same time she walked passed the house. Which she did several times a week.
They had a deep ditch in the front of their property which was usually dry during the summer. If my grandpa saw her coming he would jump in the ditch to hide.
Sometimes I'd ask my grandma where my grandpa was and she would ask me if I checked the ditch because Mrs. so and so just passed the house.
Many times I'd find him there with just the top of his head sticking out.
 
I took my kids to visit my father and they thought I knew everyone in that city. Nope, they just hadn't been in the South before! My kids are Yankees (not the team; they are Red Sox fans).

When I was taking care of my mother, who was ill, she'd send me to Walmart to buy chocolate for her. One day she asked me why that trip took an hour. It was because in the South, it is normal for strangers to talk to one another about all sorts of stuff. One time a cashier asked me what I thought about gay marriage. I was a little nervous because she kept asking me for my point of view and I figured the line of people behind me would be irritated. Nope. They all were paying close attention, not squawk out of anyone.

In Boston, by contrast, strangers generally didn't talk to one another. One time my husband asked a woman standing next to him which was the best brand of butter to buy. She replied, "How dare you speak to me". He was wearing an expensive suit, and didn't look like a ragamuffin or anything that may have given her an excuse to be that rude (from her point of view, not mine).
 
I will generally initiate conversation at a checkout by just saying hello to the clerk to acknowledge their personhood, and then let them take it from there. If they grunt in response or if their respondent hello is the end of it, that’s fine. I’ll carry on a brief conversation for the duration of the transaction if the clerk seems to want it as long as they don’t get strange or overly familiar. One checkout clerk at a supermarket I frequent plies her customers with conspiracy theories, so I avoid her line! 🙀
 
The one place I don't like to talk to people is on an airplane. I always get a window seat so I can look at the sky and daydream and take photos. Of course if my seatmate talks to me, I respond -- and hope they will not make it a long conversation.

I'm like that on buses too. Somehow riding in a vehicle makes me zone out.
 
Of course. I chat while the clerk is checking out the groceries or whatever. If they don't answer or seem self-absorbed I take the hint and shut up. I'm careful to only talk about the weather or other mundane things. I heard/saw a shouting match in the grocery store recently - politically motivated it seems plus thoughts about mask or no mask.
 
Over the years I've learned that familiarity breeds contempt and awkward situations if one says something that another takes offense to is just not worth the aggravation that could befall you. When I shop I avoid any type of conversation after mutual greetings.

Hello

How much?

Thank you, take care.
 
I live alone and I am short on opportunities for conversation. That is one reason why I was interested in this forum. So, please excuse some of my long winded posts. In the old days I was quite an AH. I avoided conversation with other people like the plague. I wanted to appear threatening so no one would even venture a conversation with me. Inside I was as shy as they come and that was the real reason for the facade. I had a spiritual awakening in the 80's. I did not see God I just became deeply self aware of how my behavior affected others and myself.

As I got older I got more in tune with myself and made a special effort to become more helpful and kind to others. I found that it was much easier and enjoyable than being an AH. Now for the short answer. Yes, When I do venture out and about I enjoy conversation especially with older than me people. So much to learn from them. So much to learn from everybody for that matter. I wished I had realized that years ago.
 

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